Page 44 of Like Home
When she predictably asked what happened to his face, he said a tree from work got him in the nose. I did my absolute best to conceal my snort as a cough. Judging from his glare, I failed. Oh well.
I am elbows deep in the fridge, half-empty condiment bottles and produce everywhere as I scrub the glass shelves free of their crusted gunk. My house only gets this level of clean when I’m raging or anxious. The fact that I’m both means I’m about to get on my knees and scrub the baseboards with a toothbrush.
I nearly jump out of my skin when Jared taps me on the shoulder. “Jeez! What?” I exclaim, turning quickly and wielding the filthy sponge.
Jared laughs; the quality has a nasal honk to it that makes me feel a little better about the fact that I almost peed myself. “I was just trying to tell you that I’m heading out. Emma is in her room resting. Since we already told her she’s staying with you for the week, I’ll just be back on Wednesday. I’ll keep my calls at the same time too. But listen, I’m serious about this Ryan guy. I actually filed a police report and am going to pursue full custody if you have him around her.”
I sigh long enough to prevent myself from going off like I want to. “I think we both know what this is about,and it isn’t about what happened to your face. Just because you want to punish me doesn’t mean she should get punished too. You know seeing us equally is what’s the absolute best for her. Don’t give her unnecessary trauma just to be petty. She doesn’t deserve that, and frankly neither do I.”
I rinse my hands and the sponge in the sink to give myself a moment to think. If I can convince him not to go through a prolonged custody battle, I will. On the phone, Mrs. Lucas said that it's always better to handle custody out of court, because it can be time-consuming and expensive otherwise.
He sighs and leans against the counter next to me. “You know I think you’re a great mom. I just really believe you’re making a mistake with this Ryan guy. I mean, come on. What kind of guy swoops in knowing a woman just got out of a long relationship and has a kid? That’s a lot of baggage to just accept. He clearly wants something from you.”
I scoff, “Yeah, a good relationship with me. Hard to imagine, I know.” I meet his dark eyes, “It’s really,reallysad to me that you couldn’t see my worth until I was with someone else. I thought you loved me, but I think you just loved the idea of having someone who thought you could do no wrong. I’m not that girl anymore. I really, truly hope you find someone good for you because it clearly wasn’t me.” I dry my hands aggressively on the hand towel.
“I’ve always wanted you.” He tries to place a hand on my shoulder, but I shrug it off. With a sigh he continues, “You’re right though. I didn’t realize how good I had it. For that, I am sorry.” I search his eyes looking for the lie, but find only earnestness. I can’t pretend it doesn’t surprise me.
“Thank you. You’ve been so nasty to me lately…” Of their own accord, my eyes start to water.Damnit.I do not want this man to witness any more of my tears.
His face crumples too, and to my shock, I see tears well in his eyes mirroring my own. “Fuck, Summer. I’m so sorry. Foreverything I’ve said to you. You don’t deserve it. I haven’t been feeling myself since we split and I’m taking it out on you.” I sniff back my tears and nod. He’s been a completely different person since we broke up.
He holds out his arms tentatively, eyes shining. I step into them and allow him to hug me, chin resting on the top of my head. “I’m so sorry. You and Emma mean everything to me and I just can’t deal with losing you.”
I step back and he lets me go reluctantly. “I’m sorry too, Jared.”
“For what?”
“Because you’re hurting too. I’m sorry for that. I hope you find happiness. I think we can still work out a good thing for Emma if we get back to treating each other better.” I pluck a tissue from the box on the counter and hand it to him.
He takes it, looking down. “You’re still staying with him?”
“Yes. I think… I think I might be falling in love with him,” I say, feeling a rush of exhilaration. The feeling has been slowly taking root, curling tendrils reaching out until it surrounds my heart. Until now, I hadn’t named it. I feel like the only way for Jared to understand where I’m at is to be completely honest. I want him to realize that I’m not with Ryan out of spite or revenge, but because I genuinely think he might be my person.
Jared inhales sharply. He nods once before turning on his heel and walking out the front door with a quietclick.I feel dread drop like a leaden ball in my stomach. Jared always has to have the last word, and for him to say nothing unsettles me.
“Alright then, Summer, we’ll be in touch soon. I’ll probably give you a call to follow up with the details on Monday. And I’ll need your e-signature on some documents. I’m positive we can get this settled in mediation rather than dragging it out in family court,”Mrs. Lucas, my new lawyer, says to me with a reassuring smile through the screen. Behind her hang several certificates and plaques on a mint-colored wall.
I nod, taking a deep breath. “Thank you, Mrs. Lucas.”
“I told you, call me Nia,” She chides gently, raising a dark brow.
“Nia, then. Thank you. You’ve made me feel a lot better. This is just such a one-eighty from how we started. No offense, but I never thought I would have to call you,” I say sheepishly.
She tosses a handful of long braids over her shoulder and shrugs delicately, “Not many people assume that they’ll need a family lawyer for much more than estate planning, but as you can attest, that’s not always the way it works out.”
She readjusts slightly in her office chair before leaning forward and says, “If I may, Summer, in my experience, people reveal who they truly are when going through a hard thing like separation and child custody. It makes you dig deep into what you value. There are people like you who genuinely try to do the best they can for their children and all parties involved, and then there are people like Jared. This darkness festers under the surface their whole lives until something brings the infection to a head.” She leans back again casually like she didn’t just drop a hard truth on my lap.
I nod slowly and say, “It’s just disappointing. I always thought that Jared, above all else, would put Emma first. It’s a hard pill to swallow to learn that that isn’t true. He might have been a bad partner, but he was always a good father.”
“If men know how to do one thing, it’s how to disappoint the important women in their life.”
“That’s the truth,” I say with a humorless laugh.
“And why I’ll always be grateful for my wife,” Nia deadpans, making me genuinely laugh.
“If only we could all be so lucky.”
She gives me a sympathetic smile and says, “I’ll be in touchsoon. Deep breaths, Summer. It’s all going to work out. I’m fairly confident that things will go your way.”
