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My mouth opens, but nothing comes out.

What is there to say?

Thank you for making this easy?

Sorry my feelings interrupted your evening?

Sorry I thought our marriage was more than a business arrangement that ran its course?

I look at him one last time.

A man I’ve loved for over a decade, a man I married when I was just nineteen, and yet...

So beautiful.

So strong.

Those sharp angles of his face I’ve traced with trembling fingers...

The mouth that knows every inch of my body but never once formed the words I was dying to hear...

The hands that can coax magic from engines but never learned the shape of my heart...

And yet...

Why does he look like a stranger to me now?

“I’m sorry it ended like this,” I hear myself choke out.

He doesn’t even look at me this time. I can’t even be sure if he’s heard me. Is he even aware that I’m here or is he already busy calculating lap times or reviewing tomorrow’s schedule while I stand here bleeding feelings he never wanted to see?

Look at me!

Please!

Please look at me!

I want to cry the words out, and I think...

I think that’s what breaks me for good.

That I still want him to look at me...when he’s already made it so, so clear that it’s over.

And so I turn.

I have to.

Because if I stay for one more second, I know I might end up saying and doing all the things that he’d hate me for. And honestly, they would be things I’d hate myself for as well.

Don’t look back.

I chant the words desperately as my heels click against marble.

Please don’t.

Just don’t.

I reach for the door knob, and the cold brass under my shaking palm is a shock to my system. I suddenly start to panic, wondering what I’d do and where I’d go—