Page 24 of Forever Yours
I can feel tears gathering at his harsh tone, but I cut them short. I will not let this asshat see me cry. I cross my arms underneath my breasts which causes them to spill out of my thin top. Liam eyes them with undisguised hunger, but curses under his breath.
He comes closer as if to cover me, and I take a step backwards. “You have no say in how I dress, Liam.” I jut my chin out and narrow my eyes. “You’ve made it perfectly clear that I’m good enough to have sex with, but not good enough for much else. So, I’ll show the ‘goods’ to whomever I choose.”
Liam opens his mouth and then promptly snaps it shut. He shuffles his feet and puts his hands in his pockets. The remorse in his eyes is enough to gut me. “I’m sorry I ever made you feel that way, Soph. You know you mean more to me than sex.”
“How would I know that Liam? By your declarations of love? Oh, yeah you don’t do love, whatever that means. I guess maybe I would know you really, really care about me by the way you tried to hide me so that my brother wouldn’t find out about us. Maybe I would know you really, really care about me by the way you’ve tried so hard to talk to me in the last week?” I snap my fingers. “Oh, that’s right…I haven’t heard a word from you.”
He reaches out a hand to me and I step away again. I shake my head. “No, you don’t get to try to make everything better. I’ve been in love with you since I was fifteen.” His head rears back and he looks dumbfounded. “Don’t try to act like you didn’t know, you idiot. I’ve adored you most of my life, and now, you know what? I’m done. I’m done loving you. I’m going to turn it off like a faucet. I’m not going to feel that way anymore because you know what?” I wipe away the tear that has fallen down my cheek. “It’s too damn painful.”
Liam’s face is stricken. “Soph, I…” He trails off and I can tell he has no idea what to say next.
I gesture towards my outfit. “As for the way I look tonight, this outfit isn’t me and if it takes wearing this and going out with some guy to make you realize what you’re missing, then I’m better off without you. If you can’t accept my love after all this time, and you can’t love me for who I am, then I give up.” My shoulders fall and tears blind my eyes. I’m done this time, really done. It’s time for me to move on, to find someone that can love me the way that I love them.
I take one last look up at him. He’s not moving and barely breathing. Anguish swims in those steel grey eyes, but for once I feel hardened towards any pain he may feel. “It’s time for me to move on, Liam. It’s time for me to find out who I am other than the girl with the unrequited love for her brother’s best friend.”
I turn to walk out. I never noticed that while we were talking the music had been turned down and a crowd had gathered around us. Now people watch somberly as I turn to go. Many of them move out of my way. I blush as I notice all eyes on me. Some of the girls that I pass by reach out to touch my shoulder. I hear murmurs of ‘you tell him, girl’ and some start to clap. I hear Liam shout my name, but I keep walking, head held high. When I reach the front door, Reina holds it open, grinning at me. I almost break down at the sight of her and her grin fades.
She wraps an arm around me and whispers in my ear, “You’ve got this, girlie. You put on a hell of a brave show, and we’re going to walk out of here tall and proud. Then we can go home and cry and eat all the damn chocolate we want. Just hold on for a few more minutes.”
And I do. I hold my head up and I keep it that way even as Reina hustles me into her car, and Liam runs outside calling my name. We pull away from the house and I never look back.
Chapter Twenty-seven
How do you love when you’ve never been shown it? How can you trust that love can last when the people that are supposed to love you the most, just don’t? - Liam
Liam
The knot in my throat won’t go away. The crowd around me gradually thins out and people go back to their business, but I stand there rooted to the spot. I can’t move.
Things are better this way. I always expected Sophie to stop loving me somewhere along the way. I’m not lovable. When even your own parents can’t love you, then there’s something wrong with you. That’s just the way it is.
I don’t remember walking back to my apartment. I lay in bed that night, looking at my ceiling. Brian went out earlier, and he hasn’t been back. If I didn’t know better, I would think he actually met a girl in the few days he’s been here.
I didn’t tell him what happened earlier. He expects me to fix things, and for once I’m going to let him down. I have no idea what to do.
I turn on my side and reach out to the cold side of the bed. Sophie made everything warm and bright. I’m so damn lonely now. I can’t imagine my life from this point forward without Sophie. Her laughter, her brightness, her ability to bring color into my black and white world. To live without that feels like living half of a life.
Brian said I was in love with her. I close my eyes. I can admit that now. I can admit that I’m stupid in love with Sophie Richards and I have been for a good chunk of my life. But does she deserve someone better than me? Does she deserve someone who knows how to be a husband and a dad, or even a doting boyfriend? And the real question is... will she even forgive me to allow me to be those things?
My cell phone vibrates on the pillow next to me. I pick it up and see a number I don’t know. I throw it back down. God, for a moment there, my heart had jumped at the thought it could be Sophia.
As soon as it stops vibrating, it starts up again. I pick it up and see the same number. The terrifying thought that something could have happened to Brian or Sophie has me answering.
“Hello?”
“Liam?” a soft voice whispers. I sit up straight in bed.
“Mom?”
“Yeah baby, it’s me.” Her voice sounds stronger now and I clench the phone in my hand.
“Are you in trouble, Mama? Are you hurt?” Anger swirls in my gut and my brain runs through all the possibilities. That fuckin’ asshole probably hurt her again. I’m already grabbing for my jeans when her next words stop me in my tracks.
“I’m the best I’ve been in a long time, Liam. I’m in rehab.”
I sit back down on the bed with a thud and sigh. “Which rehab this time?” There have been so many. From the time I was a little kid, some well-meaning relative would talk Mom into rehab and then inevitably she would leave early and start back on the drugs again. Her addiction always pulled her back under.
“A new place, outside of Savannah. I drove myself here, Liam. It was time.” Her voice is clear, and she sounds upbeat. I’m not ready to believe in anything yet.
