Page 26 of Forever Yours
Reina is silent for a moment. I think my admission may have taken the wind out of her sails. She sighs. “I don’t know why I’m doing this, but I’m going to help you. Tell me one thing first, though.”
I rub my hand across my forehead. “Sure, what is it?”
“Do you love her? I mean, I know you do, but are you ready to admit it to yourself?”
Images of Sophie flash across my mind. I see her as a little girl, with those thick glasses and sweet gap-toothed smile, as a teenager in her prom dress when I first noticed her as a girl, and finally with her eyes flashing in pain a few hours ago.
“Yes, I love her.” My voice breaks and I swallow deeply. “I love her more than anything else in this world.”
Reina lets out a deep breath. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Now, we just have to pull you out of the deep pit of shit you’ve gotten yourself into.”
“But what if she has let me go like she said? What if she’s never willing to give me a chance?” The thought almost breaks me, but I hold my breath, waiting for Reina to respond.
“Love doesn’t cut itself off that way, no matter what she thinks.” Now her voice is thick with emotion. “We can’t stop ourselves from loving someone, no matter how hard we try.”
“What do you think I should do?” I’ll do anything to have my Sophie back beside me, in my life and in my bed. She’s mine whether she knows it or not.
“Well, I think something the romance novels and movies would call a grand gesture is in order.” I can hear the smile in her voice, and I cringe. Hell, what am I about to get myself into?
Chapter Twenty-nine
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”-Albert Einstein
Sophie
Life continues to go on, even when you’re reeling from heartbreak. There’s a comfort in that. The sun continues to shine, the moon still rises, and you still walk the same, one foot in front of the other. Time doesn’t stop, and in a way, it doesn’t allow you too. Life forces you to keep going, and so that’s what I do.
A new normalcy arrives. My brother comes to see me a few times before he leaves. Reina and Brian provide some entertainment, given that he constantly flirts with her, and she shoots him down every time. Brian tries to tell me how miserable Liam is. I ignore him and refuse to talk about anything Liam related. When he leaves to go back to base, he hugs me a long time, and looks like he wants to say something again about Liam.
I shake my head. “Not now, brother. I love you, and I want you to be careful. Be safe.” I pull back and straighten a crease in his uniform.
He holds onto my upper arms and nods. “I love you too, baby sis. And I’ll be as safe as I can be.” He hugs me tight one more time. “I’m sorry I’ve got such a damn fool for a best friend,” he whispers in my ear.
As for Liam, I see him everywhere. I see him in class and in the hallways, the quad, the cafeteria, basically everywhere but my small dorm room. It becomes my haven. He’s constantly surrounding me when I leave, trying to apologize, trying to get me to listen. I have nothing more to say and I’m not ready to hear the list of why he can’t love me.
I lean on Reina lot. She stays in with me, and we watch rom coms and throw stuff at the tv when the girl inevitably takes the guy back. Sometimes, she drags me to parties where I try and fail not to look for Liam’s lurking presence.
I contact Ronnie, and we bond over the stupidity of boys. I even meet up with her and some of her friends and manage to have a great time. I’m learning to live a life without Liam.
I can’t say that I’ve become totally immune to Liam because I don’t think I ever will be, but I’ve gotten a lot better at hiding how I feel. Maybe one day I won’t have to hide how my heart leaps when I see him, because maybe it won’t anymore. Maybe my love will fade, and I’ll become numb to all these silly feelings. Yeah, and maybe pigs will fly, and hell will freeze over too.
I sigh as I shuffle my papers around on my small desk in physics class. This is one place I can’t escape Liam. He sits up front every class, and even though my eyesight is still not the greatest even with contacts, I sit in the back so I can be far away from him.
His presentation on Albert Einstein and his theories is today. Since it’s only Physics 1, it should be pretty rudimentary. I blush and squirm in my chair when I remember that day in the study room when he first started writing it. Just because I’m trying to fall out of love with the man doesn’t mean that I don’t get myself off to memories of that day.
I shift in my seat and watch as he shuffles into the classroom with some of the last stragglers to enter. I sit up straighter when his eyes meet mine. His face is pale and he’s obviously sweating. Immediately, a ball of anxiety fills my gut. Is he sick?
His movements are stiff and awkward as he sits down. I watch as his long legs start bouncing under the small desk. He’s not sick, he’s nervous as hell. About this stupid presentation? A wave of sympathy washes over me, and I try to shake it off. He’s the one who didn’t want me. I must move on. I have to stop feeling so much.
It’s impossible to shut down how I feel as I watch him stand in front of the full auditorium. His hands shake before he grasps the podium and I see him take a deep breath before his eyes meet mine again. Those grey eyes seem to be trying to tell me something, but I’m not sure what. I lean forward as his strong, baritone voice fills the room. He clears his throat once before he has full command of the room. The nerves that were so apparent before, disappear as he stares at me and talks about my favorite subject.
Chapter Thirty
She makes me want to be more. She makes me want to be the man she deserves. Without her, I’m broken. With her, I’m whole again. - Liam
Liam
Fuck, I’m not sure what the hell I’m doing. No Liam, you know what you’re about to do. You’re about to make an idiot of yourself in front of an auditorium full of people for a girl. But not just any girl, The Girl.
