Page 38 of Only Yours
Chapter 35
Why can’t shit just work out the way I want it to? – Brian
Brian
Everyone’s foul mood still hasn’t lifted a few weeks later. None of us seem to want to be here. The captain’s shitty mood has rubbed off on every last one of us, down to the eager puppy-like newbie we acquired. When you spend so much time together, it’s impossible not to feed off each other’s attitude. When the Captain isn’t being an asshat to one of us, he’s pacing like a wild man in front of the tent. His ex-wife has moved in with the dude she was cheating on him with and he’s afraid she’s going to keep him from seeing the kids when he gets back.
I hope to God if Reina and I ever fall out of love with each other, we don’t strive to hurt each other the way that they do. I can’t imagine ever not loving my girl, but if she somehow wanted someone else, I would like to think she wouldn’t make it her goal in life to rip my heart to shreds.
When the mail arrives for the day, I immediately spy Reina’s loopy handwriting, and my heart flips in my chest.
My hands are clumsy as I try to tear the envelope open carefully.
Dear Soldier Boy,
That was one hell of a letter you sent me. Made my panties wet and my heart do a somersault.
I miss you terribly, too. I think sometimes it’s a little worse being able to see places that we went to together. Like the coffee shop on campus where I had a hot cocoa mustache and you licked it off. Or the Riverwalk where we held hands and talked about everything and nothing for hours.
Even my room isn’t sacred since we made love there several times. Look at me saying made love? I think you’ve officially turned me into a romantic sap, Brian.
But I think of the times we had in that small twin bed and my body heats. I want those nights back. I want you inside me again, thrusting and calling out my name. I want you to kiss me the way that only you can. Hell, I want you to do all the kinky, dirty things only you can do. You’re the only one that makes me feel like I could just kiss you all day long, but also makes me feel like I want to rip off every piece of clothing you have on and just make you mine. You make me feel like I’m your sweet princess, but you’ve also let something out inside of me. Something that makes me feel desirable and wanton, and almost a little crazy.
Months, uh? Just a few months. Why does it feel like forever?
Everything here is fine. I really don’t have a better word for it. My classes keep jugging along, but I have decided to drop out of the pre-med program. I’ll finish this year out, since I’m still doing some general classes too, and then I’ll get out. I’m going to make my dreams come true. I’m only able to do that because I’ve had your encouragement. Thank you, soldier boy, for making me see that I can do this. That I can be what I want to be.
I haven’t told my mother yet. I plan to tell her when I go home during spring break. I suspect she won’t be happy, but I know now that I have to live for me.
I love you so fucking much, Brian. I thought this feeling would fade a little bit, to be honest. I thought it would become more bearable to go around with this big hole in my heart where you are. I love these letters, but at the end of the day words are just words. They aren’t your arms. How I wish they were.
I’m sorry everyone is in a shitty mood. I’m having trouble keeping up my own mood here, but your sis sure does try. I swear that girl would put on a one-woman comedy show for me if she thought that would do the trick. Instead, she insists I tag along everywhere so I’ve become a third wheel to her and Liam. It’s honestly depressing, but I try not to let on.
We’ll make it through. Days will blend into weeks. Weeks into months, and then I’ll see you again.
Love you so much,
Your Princess, Reina
P.S. I lay here at night touching myself thinking of you. It’s not the same, but I imagine your hands on me. And it’s your name that I ache to shout out when I come. I’ll be yours again, soon.
My cheeks are split into a wide grin by the time I finish. My cock is also at full attention with those last words echoing in my head.
I trace her words with my finger. Soon, Reina. I’ll be there soon.
My grin disappears as soon as I step outside and see the captain pacing again. He’s agitated and scrubs his hand through his greying hair. I salute him and expect to walk around him without any exchange of conversation.
He salutes back. “Sergeant Richards,” he nods towards me, “how’s your day going?”
I rear back and almost stumble, surprised he’s talking civilly to someone for once. He’s been in bear mode for days, only grunting besides barking out orders.
“It’s fine, Captain. Doing just fine.”
He nods and shoves his hands in his pockets. “It’s going to be a clear night. Probably cold as fuck, but we’ll be able to see the stars.” He looks up towards the sky, where dusk has fallen. A few stars are just starting to peek out. That might be one of the very few things I miss about out here. At night, the stars are so clear it’s like a festival of lights.
I look up and nod. Then turn back and look at the captain again. I hate seeing him like this. “You doing okay, Captain?” I ask, and then stiffen. He’s liable to bite my head off for asking.
But instead, he just shrugs. “I’ll be okay.” He glances over at me. “You got a girl back home, Richards? I don’t think I’ve ever asked.”
