Page 34 of Only Yours
We make love in my small twin bed while I try not to scream the dorm down. With Brian, I’ve discovered I’m a screamer. He has this way of making me come so hard that I can’t hold myself back. I usually end up muffling my scream in a pillow, especially when he takes me from behind.
We discover Savannah together. I thought I had been everywhere in the city until he came along. Together, we discover the off the beaten path piano bar, and the chocolate bar that serves the best Godiva cocktail I’ve ever had in my life.
When we part for me to go home for Christmas break, I hold back tears. I spend a miserable week away from him where we text and face time every day, and then we’re reunited again athis house. We act like we’ve spent a year apart. So much so, that Sophie makes fun of us relentlessly.
“You guys are like a couple of newlyweds.” She rolls her eyes. “I thought Liam and I were bad. Y’all almost make us look unaffectionate with one another.”
I bump Brian with my hip as he feeds me a bite of the strawberry shortcake his mom made that afternoon. “Did you hear her? She’s giving us hell again. We aren’t that bad.”
He tweaks my nose and looks deep into my eyes. I get a little lost in those blue eyes of his every time I look into them. In the past few weeks, I’ve catalogued all the colors they can change into, from indigo to sky, there’s a kaleidoscope in those blue eyes. Today, they are decidedly amused.
“Nope, princess, we’re totally not obsessed with each other.” Even as he says it, a finger creeps up to caress a path along the sliver of skin where my jeans and sweater meet. I shiver.
Sophie coughs loudly. “Yep, y’all are the epitome of discreet. I think I just threw up a little. I’ll give y’all two a few minutes.”
Brian gives me a kiss on the cheek once she leaves. He clears his throat. “So, I know we haven’t talked about it much, but I made us plans for New Year’s. I hope that’s okay.”
My heart drops to my stomach. We haven’t talked about New Year’s on purpose. He leaves two days after, and the thought of that parting makes me sick to my stomach. I mean, literally. I haven’t told him how my stomach hurts and I feel like I’m going to hurl every time I think about it. For the first time in my life, I’ve let myself get well and truly attached, and now the bind that holds us together is about to be yanked away.
I glance down at the table. “That’s fine. I’m sure whatever it is will be fun.” With Brian, everything is fun. We bicker about little things, because well that’s us, but I always have the best time with him.
He places a finger under my chin and turns my face. “Reina, I know that look. I don’t want to go, either. But I’ll be back before you know it. And, um, I’ve been thinking about things…” he trails off and I bring my thumb to my lips, ready to chew the nail off again.
He takes my finger away from my lips. “I’ve been thinking about things, and I may not re-up when it’s my time again. That’s right after this deployment. I’m thinking of doing other things. I can get my computer science degree, and I could probably find a job in Savannah pretty easily.”
My eyes widen. “You would do that? You would find a job here?”
“Of course, I would, Reina. Haven’t you figured it out by now?” he asks, his face a picture of earnestness and hope.
“What, babe?” I use the endearment purposefully, watching the warmth scatter through those blue eyes and change their color again. He calls me sweet names all the time, but it’s taken me a while to get used to it. He absolutely adores it when I call him babe or baby.
He reaches for my hand. “I’m in love with you, princess. Head over fuckin’ heels. I want forever. I want all the days. The good ones, the bad ones, everything in between. I can’t keep going away and leaving you. I’m just not me without you.”
By the time he finishes those words, I’m a sobbing mess. I bury my head in his chest. He pats me on the back. “I didn’t say all that so you would cry, princess,” he says distressed. “I hoped it would make you happy.”
I pull back and punch him in the shoulder. “You idiot. You grew up with two women. You should know that I…” I choke on tears, “I am happy.” I break off with a ragged cry and settle into his chest again.
He tangles his hands in my hair. “Yes, because you seem so damn happy sobbing into my chest,” he mutters.
Eventually, my tears subside, and I push back from him. “I love you too, soldier boy. So damn much.”
His blue eyes light up. “You do?”
I kiss his soft lips. “Of course, I do, idiot.”
His eyes mist over. “You say such sweet things to me, princess.”
“If you cry, I’m totally going to tell your sister on you,” I tease.
And that’s how we tell each other we love each other for the first time, because it’s so us. How can I let this man leave me again?
Chapter 33
I’m not sure I know how to say goodbye to her. -Brian
Brian
I brace my arms around her, holding onto the railing of the riverboat. The lights of Savannah twinkle in the distance and there’s a raucous from the people celebrating the coming New Year’s behind us. But here, where my arms surround her, it’s just the two of us.
