Page 17 of Finally Yours
“He’s still scared, Lyla. But that isn’t your issue. It’s his. And as much as it hurts, he’s going to have to figure that out himself.” Sophie crosses her arms and sits back. “I had to let Liam go for him to find his way back and figure his stuff out. It hurt like crazy, but I had to do it for me. At some point, you’ll have to make a choice. And he will too.”
“But how will I know when it’s time? When it’s time to say I can’t hold the words back and I can’t help but let him know I love him? I just want to be with him, but at the same time it’s killing me knowing that he doesn’t feel the same way. The sex…” I twirl a curl of my hair around my finger and give them a half smile, “the sex is amazing. I think sometimes I could just let that continue and be happy enough with it. I could go months, years, just living off that and the way he looks at me right after. Like I’m his whole world…”
“But then you know you can’t. That you need the words.” Sophie leans forward. “It’s okay to need the words, Lyla. It’s not a sin to want the person who you love to say it back to you. And it’s okay to want a future with them too.”
Tears start to slip down my cheeks. “But what if he never says it? What if he never wants it?”
Arms surround me as both girls hug me from behind. “Then you’ll leave the doofus behind and find someone else who’s even better,” Reina whispers in my ear, “and we’ll kick hot doc’s ass for you.”
I laugh through my tears and touch Reina’s hand. “Thank you.”
Sophie squeezes my shoulder. “We’ll annihilate him just for you, Lyla. Because you are the best, Lyla, and you deserve the best. Don’t ever forget that. No man should ever make you feel like less than. You are more than any man, Lyla Ann Kennedy. You are a caring nurse, a caring person, and you need to always remember that.”
I squeeze her back. “Thank you, guys. I needed to hear that. Thank you for being my cheerleaders.”
“That’s what good girlfriends do,” Sophie says, and they finally release me.
“You were there for me during my toughest time, Lyla. Of course, I’ll be there for you.” For once, Reina is serious and thoughtful.
I wipe away tears. “You guys are the best. And I’ll think about it. I’ll try my best to figure out what I need.” I clap my hands together and try to put on a cheerful smile. “Now, let’s forget all about guys and eat pizza and drink beer. And then y’all can watch while I beat your asses at pool.”
Chapter Seventeen
Family is always there to remind you where you came from. -Asher
Asher
“Paging Dr. Asher Cannon! Paging fancy-pants Dr. Asher Cannon!” The shouting and knocking on my door continue, until I finally pull it open. Sunshine spills in through the opening and I blink.
I send my sister a bleary-eyed glare. “What the hell are you doing here this early and why are you harassing me so loud the neighbors probably called the police?”
Chelsea looks down at her watch and then at me. “Why are you so damn grumpy? It’s after eight in the morning. You should be rockin’ and rollin’ at this hour. Aren’t you the one who always used to wake me up for school bright and early?”
I step aside so she can enter. “Late night at the hospital.” Plus, I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking of Lyla’s disappointed face from yesterday. She wants what that older couple has, and I can’t blame her. But am I capable of that? Do I want that? I scrub my face with my hand. Before Lyla, I never thought of it. I thought I would die a cranky old perpetual bachelor. During my thirties, I’ve watched most of my friends get married and have kids. That future never seemed like mine. But the thought of Lyla pregnant doesn’t feel like a turn off. It makes me excited.
“What’s up big brother? What’s got that deep line coming out on your forehead?” She munches on some cereal she pulled from my cabinet and tries to talk around it. “That line usually only comes out when I do something bad. Uh oh, did the school call?”
I glare at her. “No, should they be calling?”
She gives a guilty gulp. “Um no, of course not.” She waves me off with a sheepish look on her face and then catches her bottom lip between her teeth. “I, uh, maybe flunked a couple of classes.” She sighs and sits down. “But I’m working on it.”
I sit down with a thud. Chelsea has been going to community college forever. I’m paying for her to attend since my deadbeat dad doesn’t care to. She has changed majors more times than I can count. She’ll major in one thing, flunk a few classes, then start on another major…it’s been a pattern for the last three and a half years.
“Chels, you have to decide what you want to do and stick to it. And buckle down and study.”
She waves me away and sits down across from me. “I’ll figure it out. You know I always do.” I send her another glare because no she doesn’t. “But what’s wrong besides that? You seem stressed.”
Fuck a duck.Should I mention what’s going on with Lyla? I study my younger sister. Her long brown hair is done up in one of those messy buns that women like to wear and her green eyes twinkle with the mischievousness my younger sister has always displayed. It hits me again as I look at the delicate features of her face: she’s an adult now. She’s no longer the kid that used to follow me around from place to place with her stuffed teddy bear in her arms.
“I, um, started dating someone and I think it’s getting serious. I’m just not sure I want it to, though. Or that I’m capableof you know…all that.” I spread my arms wide. “Marriage, kids, all the rest.”
Chelsea arches an eyebrow. “All the rest? You make it sound like some disease.” She takes one final crunch of her cereal and then sits back with her arms folded. “I assume your cautiousness has to do with our parentals and their lack of care when we were growing up?’
I snort. “Lack of care? Is that what you call it?”
Chelsea examines her fingernails. “Probably better to say that then, “are your concerns related to the dickheads who were supposed to raise us?” which is what I really want to say.”
As the youngest, Chelsea saw the worst of our parents’ behavior, but I could remember the years before, before the fighting, before the affairs…it was a small time in history, but it was there.
