Page 18 of Finally Yours
I sigh. “They tried, Chels.” Well, they did occasionally. When they felt like it.
Her eyes swim with tears. “You mean they tried when they weren’t too busy hating each other to love us?”
This is why I have doubts. This is why I can’t trust marriage or kids. My parents caused so much pain in their wake. Why would I do that to some helpless kid?
I slowly nod. “Yeah, pretty much. See why I have my doubts about whether I’m capable of marriage and all that stuff?”
Chelsea shrugs. “Our parents may be douches, but I do remember one bright spot in my life growing up.”
“What?” I ask curiously. The bad times far outweighed the good.
I was twelve when I first started noticing my dad’s frequent overnight trips. When I noticed my mom crying in corners, and when I finally saw the cracks in the foundation of my parent’s marriage. Once the crack started, it just spliteverything in half. Anger was the one constant in our household. My dad once told me that men weren’t meant to be with one woman, especially as he put it, one who turned into a “raging bitch” on frequent occasions. And that was one of the nicer things he called my mom. As for my mother, she checked out when I was a teenager, not long after Chelsea was born. Chelsea was five when she checked out for good and started a whole new family. Our visits to her new family and our new stepdad were very infrequent and we were always made to feel like outsiders. And mom and dad still argued every time they saw each other. Birthdays, graduations, you name it…there was a Cannon fight for the occasion. It was tiring.
What happy memories could Chelsea have? I tried my best to shield her, but war is hard to shield children from, especially a war in their own house.
She points at me. “You. You were my bright spot. Every sports event, every play, every event I ever had, you were there. And you made time for me, even when I know there were better things to do than hanging out with your little sister. You were my parent, not them.”
I feel emotion well up in my throat. I tried for her. I tried to be there. Was trying good enough?
“I didn’t want you to feel alone, little sis. I wanted you to know you had someone in your corner.”
She reaches across the table for my hand and pats it. “You did a great job. I always knew you were there if I needed you. And I’m sure whatever kids you’ll have will know it too.”
The pit in my stomach still doesn’t go away. Being a big brother was hard enough. Being a father, being a husband…those seem like impossible jobs.
Chapter Eighteen
Sexy times in public can’t be all than enticing, can it? Damn it, everything with Asher is a turn on. -Lyla
Lyla
“I’m glad we decided to do this,” I say in a soft voice and turn over on my back.
The sounds of waves crashing on the shore lulls me into peace, and I close my eyes behind my sunglasses.
Asher tickles my side and I giggle. “I’m glad too, honey. Really glad.”
It’s one of those rare days when Asher and I both off. I suggested the ride over to Tybee Island because something still seemed off between Asher and me. I mean, the sex between us was still crazy good…like orgasming four times last night good, but there were awkward silences where there had never been before. I knew it had to do with thoughts of the future that seemed to be literally hanging above us in a dark cloud. It’s been three months since we started whatever this is between us, and the time is flying by. I don’t want anyone else. I don’t need anyone else. All I want is more of Asher.
I feel his hand touch mine and I melt a little inside. “It’s so beautiful out here today, isn’t it?” I ask.
“Sure is,” he says in a gruff voice, and I slide up my sunglasses and turn to look at him. He’s looking right at me. “There’s a lot of beautiful scenery here today.” His husky voicestirs a response in me, and I quickly rub my legs together to quell the ache between them.
“Asher, you’re being bad. Stop looking at me like that.” Because even without his green eyes communicating how much he wants me, I’m already a puddle of goo. The man looks amazing in nothing but board shorts. That muscled chest, the light smattering of hair across it…fine doesn’t begin to cover it. Hot doc is the right name for him. He certainly is.
He touches my side again. “Well, you’re the one who had to go and wear that bikini, baby girl.”
I can’t stop my blush. I haven’t worn a bikini in a few years, not since I gained more weight around my midsection. I’ve never been skinny, never will be skinny, but over the last two or three years, slow metabolism has definitely caught up with me. I’m not one to curse my curves but embracing them has been hard too. It’s hard to be confident in my small, round body sometimes, especially when watching Asher date model after model before me. I wonder sometimes what he thinks of me and if he compares me.
“You like this thing? I was really self-conscious putting it on.” The truth flies out of my mouth, and I stiffen. I probably should have played it cool, not asked for reassurance.
He prompts himself up on one elbow and traces the skin across my stomach with his finger. “I love that thing. And I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, not to mention the sexiest. If you want proof, you can see it in my shorts right about now.”
I can’t stop my gaze from sliding down.Holy cow.He’s right. The crotch in his shorts is tight and the bulge beneath the material is prominent.
“Crap, I was already turned on and then you had to go and say that.”Way to play it cool, Lyla. Way to play it cool.
He leans over and kisses my shoulder and then my neck. I shudder and glance around. We chose to go to the north part of the island, near the lighthouse. The area is mostly deserted since it’s the midday during the middle of the work week.
