Page 24 of Finally Yours
I push Madeline to the side. She gives me a cocky smile. “Guess we’ll see if she loves you too now.”
I run after Lyla down the hall. Surprisingly, Nurse Vicky opens her arms to Lyla and Lyla buries her head in the older woman’s shoulder.
“Lyla, what you saw back there wasn’t what you thought you saw. I mean, nothing happened. That woman tried to…”
Nurse Vicky stops me with a hand in the air. “Dr. Cannon, I think it’s better if you just leave things alone right now.” Her mouth pinches in disapproval. “This is a place of work. You and Lyla can talk this out later.”
I glance around to find other nurses at the nurse’s station looking at us. The last thing I want is to embarrass Lyla.
My shoulders slump. “Yes, Nurse Vicky. I’ll wait until later to address this privately with Lyla.”
Before I turn to go, I say softly, “I’m sorry, Lyla, so damn sorry.”
I walk away and she never looks up to see me go.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Dad, I wish you were here to tell me what to do. -Lyla
Lyla
I sit down quietly between the gravestones.Dr. Michael Kennedy, Beloved Father and Husband, Healing Physician for Those in Needis on my right. It’s a simple stone. The truth is I had been too mired in grief to think of much more when the time came. Dad thought he prepared me for everything. I think he forgot about the stone. There is a picture of a father and young daughter etched in the stone, a thoughtful detail Asher had them add on. The thought of Asher brings another pang to my heart.
I try my best to ignore it. I would rather not think of him right now. He’s been trying to talk to me since the incident with Madeline. The truth is, I know it was probably innocent. The startled look on Asher’s face and the fact that he was obviously pushing her away was enough to convince me of that. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt. I guess what hurts the most is that it was so easy for him to be in a relationship with someone as cold and unfeeling as Madeline. The two of us couldn’t be more different if we tried.
Does he care about me the same way he does her? Or did he say I love you to her even when he can’t to me?
The truth is he’s a thirty-eight-year-old man who is terrified of commitment and love. And he may never be ready. I have to either be okay with that or move on.
I glance to my left. My mother’s stone is almost as simple with one notable exception. My dad added a line from Emily Dickinson:Morning without you is a Dwindled Dawn. That’s how strong his love for her was. Without her, he was broken and never the same. He told me often about how they met. How he looked across a crowded room at a university mixer and knew without a doubt that she was the one meant for him. How he was so nervous about talking to her that he couldn’t get a sentence out and she thought something was wrong with him. How he found out where her class were and followed her from place to place until he finally got up the nerve to have a real conversation with her.
He was so entranced by her that he never thought of another woman. Even years after her death, he could go on and on about her laugh and smile.
I trace the words on her stone.I want someone who wants me like that. I want someone who can’t imagine life without me.
I place my hands on my knees and sit back. “I wish you guys were here. Life is hard without you guys to guide me. Mom, I wish I could remember you more. I tried to take care of Daddy the best I could, but boy he sure loved you. He couldn’t go a day without talking about “His Mary”. He did the best he could with me, even though sometimes he forgot I was a girl.” I smile, thinking of the talks my dad would stutter through. He could talk clinical things all day long but give him a daughter who just started her period and the man had turned into a blushing fool. Finally, he just handed me a book and walked off.
A lost feeling takes over my gut. I’m really alone. There’s no family left. I bury my head in my arms.What am I staying behind for?In a few months, I’ll be finished with school, and I could technically go anywhere. I always thought I would stay here, but what’s really keeping here?Asher, my heart responds. I square my shoulders back and stare up at the light blue sky. Icould go anywhere. I could start over. Find my own place in the world. A place where there aren’t memories of the parents I lost everywhere. Find somewhere that I don’t run the risk of running into Asher every five minutes. There are other hospitals in other towns where I would be just another person without a legacy.
I stand up and wipe my pants off. I transfer a kiss from my fingertips to each of my parents’ headstones. I rub my hand over my mother’s engraving once more. I won’t stay where I’m not wanted. I’ll make both of them proud. I’ll move on and make my own legacy that will honor them.
I glance back one last time as I walk away. One single daisy stands between their gravesites. It makes me smile. I may not have them here with me, but they’ll always be with me in some way.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Sometimes you just need a little push to do the right thing, even if it’s a push from the person you least expect it from. -Asher
Asher
“Dr. Cannon, have you had a chance to speak with Lyla yet?” Nurse Vicky gives me a look that says nothing I say will be the right answer.
I sigh, long and hard. “No, Nurse Vicky, she doesn’t seem to want to be in the same place as me, so I haven’t. I’m hoping to catch her before she leaves today.” Lyla is running like hell from me. I sent a text to her, explaining what happened between Madeline and I, and she sent back a simpleOkas response. Besides that, I haven’t heard from her. When I enter a room, she leaves it. When I see her around a corner, she disappears around the next. She’s become a master at giving me the slip.
Nurse Vicky sends me another hard look. “I suppose you should know that she asked me for a recommendation for a job in Tampa.”
I rear my head back in shock. “Tampa? Why would she ask for a recommendation for a job in Tampa?” I ask, bewildered. As far as I know, my girl has always been happy here. Savannah is where she grew up and where her friends are. Most importantly, where I am. My heart beats a faster rhythm as I think about the possibility of not seeing Lyla anymore.No, that can’t happen.
“I suppose because she’s thinking about taking a job there,” Nurse Vicky says drily.
