Page 26 of Finally Yours
I close my eyes. I want to let the words roll over me and wrap me in their comfort. I want them to be all that I need. But…
“Why now, Asher? Why say the words now?”
He slides his hand along my cheek and grasps the back of my neck. “Because I’m sure now. Because I know now. Because I can’t bear the thought of you leaving me now, or any day.”
I let him pull me in closer and I revel in the feel of the heat between us. I let him kiss me lightly and then open for his tongue to twine with mine. I try hard to block out all other thoughts. I want to turn off my brain and focus on this. I want to focus on the feel of his arms around me and the way my body feels pressed up against his. But…
I push away from him. I gasp and try to catch my breath. “Why would you think I was going to leave you?” My eyes narrow. “What have you heard?”
His cheeks turn ruddy and my stomach sinks. “Um, Nurse Vicky said you asked for a recommendation for a job in Tampa. But that’s not why…”
I raise a finger to his lips and smile sadly. “That’s exactly why, Asher. You’re afraid of losing someone familiar. You’re afraid of me not being there for you. I wondered why you were so quick to say “I love you” now. You love continuity and for things to stay the same.” I give a dry chuckle. “I almost believed you there for a second.”
I turn to walk away and feel his hand on my arm again. “I mean it, Lyla. I love you. I love you so much.”
I glance back at him and cock my head to the side. “I think you do, in a way. I’m just not sure it’s the way I need.” I send hima small smile. “No need to worry, Asher, though. I’m thinking of leaving, but it won’t be for a while yet. You don’t need to worry about it.”
I finally open my car door and let myself in. I start the car, half expecting him to start pounding on the car door, but when I drive away, he’s still standing there, looking lost. I feel an ache in my heart as I turn a corner and he disappears from my line of view.
I take a deep breath and tighten my hands on the steering wheel.What have I done? What if he really does love me?
Chapter Twenty-Seven
When going to the same place as your ex, always dress to impress, even if you’ve been bawling your eyes out for the last two days. -Lyla
Lyla
I look down at my dress, remembering the red dress that I wore that Asher said made him realize he was attracted to me. This one looks a lot like that one. I cock my head to the side as I look in the mirror.Did I do that on purpose?Probably, I admit to myself.
“Are you sure this is the dress?” I ask Reina and Sophie for the fiftieth time. “Because I can always change into that black one that’s in my closet.” I hook my thumb towards the closet behind me. “That one was a lot less…um, revealing.”
I turn to where Reina is seated cross-legged on the bed. “Nope, no way, that thing looks like you’re going to a funeral. This is a joyous occasion, a party. You’re going to knock everyone dead, including hot doc.”
Sophie elbows her. “I thought we weren’t mentioninghimagain,” Sophie loudly whispers.
I roll my eyes. “Y’all are the worst ever at not mentioning someone. I think y’all have alluded to Asher like fifty times tonight. What’s going on?” I prop my hands on my hips and give them a narrow-eyed stare. These girls always have my back, butfor the last few days, they’ve been giving me looks like I need my head examined.
They glance at each other and then at me. Reina, of course, is the first to say what’s on her mind. “Are you sure you want to leave Savannah and Asher behind? I mean, of course we’ll miss you, but maybe you should give him another chance? He did say he loved you. I mean, he tried. You kind of shot him down pretty quickly.”
I turn around again and pretend to fluff my hair. My curly blonde locks are exceptionally bouncy tonight. Ironic, since Reina’s question makes me feel like there’s a ball of lead in my stomach.
“The only reason he said it is because he doesn’t want me to go. He’s never liked change. That’s just the way he’s made.” I arch my eyebrow at the reflections I see of the girls in the mirror. “I thought you guys were on my side.”
“It’s not about choosing sides, Lyla. But people change. People can adjust their dreams and thoughts of the future based on who they meet. It happens.” Sophie’s voice breaks off at the end and I cross over to her.
I lay my hand over hers. “I know that’s what happened to you, but it may not happen to me, and I have to be okay with that. I’m not waiting around for Asher to figure out what he wants.” I shrug my shoulders. “Besides, it’ll be fun to start somewhere new. Start over where I can make new memories.”
“But those memories won’t be with us,” Reina says sadly. “We’ll miss you if you go somewhere.”
I reach for her hand too. “Y’all can come visit anytime, I promise. And I haven’t even taken a job somewhere else yet. I might not even get an offer somewhere else.”
Reina sticks her lower lip out. “You’ll get an offer. Everyone will want to hire the best nurse ever.”
I put one arm around Reina and the other around Sophia. “You guys are the best, and everything will be okay, with or without Asher.”
And it will. Because I have real friends and my own hopes and dreams. That doesn’t mean that my heartache will just go away, but maybe one day I’ll find someone whose hopes and dreams match my own.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
