Page 25 of The Library on Plum Island
“My parents always say it’s the foundation that builds a relationship.” Alex shrugged.
“It can also be the nuclear bomb that destroys it,” Harriet warned him. “What you’re asking for now, I fear, is the nuclear option.”
“Then nuclear is it.” Alex resolved. “Why are we not as close as we once were, Harry?” He glanced out at the sea before looking at her again. “I mean, besides the obvious reason that is.”
Harriet drew in a breath and closed her eyes for a few seconds before looking at him. “Because you changed.” Her words hurtled toward him like a torpedo zooming in on its mark. “And I’m not just talking about growing up and your character developing, as we’ve all made some type of change, either.”
“Okay!” Alex fiddled with the glass on the table. “How do you think I’ve changed and become so deplorable that I get your biting sarcasm and disdain all the time.”
“Maybe because that’s the only way I can cope with our friendship these days because of who you’ve become,” Harriet answered truthfully. “Every time I’m with this Alex, my heart hurts, and I long for the pre-college Alex—the sweet, kind, caring Alex with a thirst for knowledge, a big heart, and a mischievous soul.” She glanced at the ocean. “The Alex I knew always had my back. The Alex I could trust with anything, no matter what.”
“He’s always been right here, Harriet,” Alex assured her.
She turned sad, tormented eyes toward him. “No, Alex, that Alex vanished when he became a FRAT boy, to be replaced by someone I don’t recognize. Someone who doesn’t care about how his words and actions impact others.”
“I see,” Alex said. The critique stung, not that he’d admit it, but because Alex knew there was truth to her words. Instead of agreeing with her, he found himself defending the person he’d become. “Well, Princess, life isn’t this sweet bed of roses you’d like to think it is. Life, much like a rose, is brimming with sharp, cruel thorns that can pierce one’s soul, tearing it out unexpectedly and without just cause. I learned long ago the necessity of shielding myself to avoid getting pricked.”
“Is that why you’re this self-centered jerk who has a new woman on his arm every few months?” Harriet asked in disgust. “Because you’d rather be the one causing the heartbreak than risk getting yours broken?” She shook her head. “You used to hate bullies, and yet you’re not far off from being one.”
“Now that’s not true!” Alex corrected her. “I’ve never bullied anyone.” He raised his eyebrows. “Nor do I intentionally hurt anyone. Every woman I’ve dated since college knows the score when we start dating. I’m always honest and upfront at the start of any relationship.”
“Except for the last one!” Harriet gave him a smug smile. “The way your ex-speaks about it, you walked out of your engagement party.”
“What?” Alex spluttered. “I’ve only ever asked one woman to marry me.” He saw Harriet’s eyes widen, and she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “But she didn’t want me because, according to her, I was already broken. She wanted a prince.”
“Alex, that’s not fair,” Harriet’s voice was raspy. “Can you honestly say if you’d gotten married that young, the marriage would’ve lasted?”
“How could I possibly answer that question?” Alex’s eyes bore into hers, and he knew it was wrong. Still, he took a moment’s pleasure in watching Harriet squirm uncomfortably. “She was my first love, my best friend, and the only person I used to be able to picture growing old with. I don’t know how it would’ve turned out. No one does, nor can they surmise. Because, as you’ve just pointed out, people change. They evolve and adapt to their environment and circumstance.” He glanced at his empty glass. “When she left, she took my heart with her, leaving my soul an empty shell, just like this glass. Waiting for someone to fill it again.”
“No one said you were broken, Alex.” Harriet ignored his last comment and desperately tried to steer the conversation back onto the rails it seemed to be skidding off of.
“Really?” Alex looked at her skeptically. “Because it was definitely thrown into the conversation, which I remember word for word if you want me to reiterate it for you.”
“You and your blasted eidetic memory,” Harriet hissed. “And how did the conversation about you changing get turned around?” Her eyes narrowed. “Getting back on point.” She took a sip of juice, pausing for a few seconds. “I know my best friend is still inside you. I’ve seen glimpses of him over these past few days.” She looked pointedly at his injured hand. “You broke your hand saving Shay and Carly. Then you got an infection in it, saving a lost teenager.”
“Anyone would’ve done the same,” Alex pointed out.
“No, Alex.” Harriet shook her head. “When you put others first, you go all out with total disregard for yourself as long as the other person is okay.” She snorted. “Well, the old Alex, anyway.”
Alex and Harriet fell quiet as the sun continued to rise, and a flock of birds flew overhead. Alex found himself at a crossroads. Harriet’s words had hit home, and with everything she’d said, he knew he had just shut himself off from caring. A few months before Alex’s twentieth birthday, he’d gotten bacterial meningitis and had been in hospital for nearly a month. It was only after he recovered that he found out the woman he loved and had asked to marry him had gotten engaged to another man.
That had been the straw that broke the old Alex and created the new, tougher one determined not to let the world bring him down. He hadn’t just revamped who he used to be. He’d completely eliminated that person and built his character up from scratch. Everything he was, he became the complete opposite of and never looked back. An image of Daniella flashed through his mind, and he knew that if he was ever to win her trust, he’d need to revamp the person Harriet portrayed him to be. That is how he was portrayed to the world as well, and unfortunately, to Daniella.
He glanced at Harriet.Is she right? Is there still a glimmer of the old me buried deep inside me?An idea started to form as his brow creased in contemplation. If there was anyone who could help him find that old Alex and meld him with the good parts of who he’d become, it would be Harriet. She’d be able to help him become a better version of himself, and then maybe Alex would finally stand a chance with Daniella.
“Do you really believe there’s still a part of the old Alex left inside my jaded heart?” Alex broke the silence and Harriet turned her attention to him.
“If you’d asked me that four days ago, I’d have laughed,” Harriet answered him with all the brutal honesty he was accustomed to. “I probably would have replied no. If he was still inside, I don’t think there’d be any hope of getting a bit of him back. I’ve long since feared my best friend Alex had barricaded himself behind walls too high for anyone, including himself, to climb over!”
“And today?” Alex asked.
“I’d say there was still a bit of hope for him,” Harriet told him.
“Then help me, Harry.” Alex saw the surprise in her eyes. “Help me get those parts back and tone down this person I’ve become. Help me get to a point where I’m worthy of being your best friend again and …” He looked away, his voice dropped to barely a whisper. “Winning the heart of an angel.”
“What did you just say?” Harriet gaped at him in amazement.
“I asked you to help me change!” Alex’s voice filled with impatience.
