Page 23 of Risky Taste
The temperature in the room suddenly drops as Sebastian sits on the other side of me, Declan making his way around the couch to perch his ass on the edge of the coffee table. “Jesus Christ,” I blurt out. “No. He just threatened me. I thought it was going to be so much worse from all those texts but…” I heave a sigh, swallowing back the sob lodged in my throat. Logan was right about all the stimulation but I’m way past that at the moment. “He told me to tell you guys to stop digging.” The weight of those words roll off my shoulders, allowing me to relax just slightly.
Unfortunately, that sets my men on edge, a harsh growl rumbling through Declan’s chest. “So, he’s figured it out. But we knew that. Why would he come to Ronny’s funeral to demand that of you?” His nostrils flare, those dark eyes focused on me and I chew on my bottom lip, unsure if I want to believe everything Heath told me.
He’s lied to me more times than I can count but this didn’t seem like that. “He said Kurt’s involved. Whatever this thing Heath’s part of. He threatened dragging your names and his through the mud if Declan didn’t stop poking around. Said he was going to tell Kurt about us too. I think he’s been watching me—us.”
Declan’s there in front of me one moment, rage billowing beneath the surface and then next his lips are on mine, devouring me, claiming me. “If you value his life, make sure I’m never in a room with that man because being strangled will be the least of his worries. Noah, I’m going to make him hurt.I’m going to make him scream and then I’m going to make him understand just how painful it is to be beaten down little by little until there’s nothing left.”
There’s a promise in each of those words and I cling to every last one. “Just wait until he signs the papers,” I breathe against his lips.
“Don’t need papers signed if he’s dead,” Declan promises, kissing me again before he pulls away and stands. He starts pacing the far length of the living room but my body is a live wire of desire and confusion. There’s a few seconds before he stalks back over to me, his nostrils flared all over again. “Tell me again that your brother is part of whatever shit Heath is in. Tell me that the guy I’ve spent years with, fighting for my country, is a dirty bastard. Tell me that the brother of a man I’m wholly in love with is a lying scumbag. Tell me, Noah. Tell me because I’m about to lose my fucking shit.”
Which means that whatever Heath is tied up in and by proxy, Kurt, is more than just a business deal gone wrong or some unpaid taxes. “I need to know what you found because as self absorbed as Kurt is, I’ve never known him to break the law. Well… nothing crazy. I can’t wrap my head around all of this bullshit if I don’t know what’s going on.”
When Declan says nothing, I turn to Sebastian for answers. But there’s just more silence.
“Stop fucking protecting me or whatever else the fuck is going on and explain why Heath cornered me in a goddamn bathroom during Ronny’s funeral!” The sob I’ve been holding back breaks free as I glare at the three of them, waiting for answers.
Sebastian leans back against the cushions, dragging a hand down his face. “We need to talk to Kurt about this.”
I let out a frustrated sound, throwing my hands up in the air. “And he’ll just lie like he always does. He’ll brush it off, make ajoke. He’s not said anything this long, why would he start now? I need to know. Please. Just tell me.”
Logan leans in, placing a firm hand on my thigh and squeezing softly. “Noah, you don’t need to protect your brother. If he’s tangled up in his shit…”
“Not protecting him. Definitely not that. I just know that cornering my brother is worse than doing it to Heath. Heath is unpredictable but Kurt can be wholly violent and not just physically. I don’t want to go down that road unless we have to. And as much as I usually despise him, my brother is one of the last tethers I have to reality. Now, what the fuck are they tangled up into? What were all those documents? I know I said I didn’t want to know and maybe I’m in the wrong mindset to handle whatever it is but I need it.Please.”
Declan hesitates, shame flickering in his eyes, and he steps back, plopping his ass back onto the coffee table. “His name never came up in any of the documents, but there had to be someone on the inside. It all makes sense now because I had no idea how Heath would have gotten his hands on it.” His words hang, heavy and cryptic, and I frown, my mind scrambling to piece it together. Declan continues, his voice more strained than before as if he can’t believe the betrayal Kurt has put them through. “There’s information about the squads. Destinations. Deployments. All of that fucking shit. There’s a list too. Depending on how much is paid, you either cruise through your deployment, or you come back with PTSD. If Kurt’s involved—”
Horror bleeds through my expression as Logan relaxes beside me, not out of relief but defeat. “That would have been the only reason we all stayed together. We all applied to different places to suit our expertise. I know places were clamoring for Beast. We barely left our little bungalow except on a few rescue missions that had a 100% return rate.” His words drip with bitterness, his arms tightening, knuckles whitening against his sleeves.
I glance between them, confusion warring with the ache in my chest. Sebastian carries scars that tell a different story, jagged lines crisscrossing his chest, a map of pain that doesn’t match Logan’s tale. How did he end up so broken if they were spared?
But now there’s a bigger issue. My brother dealing out missions like he’s god or some shit, giving people what they want based on money and how much he likes them. That doesn’t sound like him at all. He’s always wanted to serve his country. This contradicts all of that.
Declan catches the flicker in my eyes, glancing over at Sebastian as if he understands where my mind went. “I’m not saying it was a walk in the park. But of the other places we could have been deployed to? Or the length of our deployments? Noah, our last mission was basically a vacation. An annoying, drawn-out one, but a vacation compared to some of the other shit I’ve done.”
I don’t want to hear this, don’t want to know how cushioned they were while I was clawing my way through hell. My one mission overseas before I came back and fell into Heath’s arms—a jagged scar on my soul—left me with triggers I can’t shake, loud noises that send me spiraling, and I swore I’d never leave this clinic, this fragile cocoon I’ve built. Kurt and his squad danced through deserts, sipping drinks under the sun, while I came back broken, vowing to stay rooted, safe.
“How far back?” My voice trembles, my throat closing as I fight to stay present. I have no doubt what Declan found and pieced together is the truth but I’m not sure I like the fact that Kurt could be part of it.
Because that means…
Declan shrugs, his broad shoulders rolling, his gaze flickering away. “That part was hazy. Maybe five years? There’s a lot of red tape.” His uncertainty twists the knife deeper, a cold realizationsettling in my bones. Five years. Five fucking years of Heath and possibly Kurt rigging the game, and no one thought about me.
He could have sent me to paradise like he did everyone else but instead my brother sold me to the devil, handed me over to a deployment that chewed me up and spat me out, and he didn’t even blink. When I stumbled back, hollowed out, all I got was a “sorry bro, hope you feel better”—a shrug, a pat on the back, his casual grin masking the betrayal.
He visited me in the hospital every day, sat by my bed while I stared at the ceiling, numb and shaking, and I’d been okay with it, chalked it up to his nature. Now I see it—his guilt, his lies, his hand in the shit that broke me—and it’s a wound reopening.
“Noah, sweetheart. You havegotto breathe.” Logan’s voice pulls me back and I narrow my eyes at him, finding myself in his lap. One of his hands is kneading small circles into my back, his other hand warm against my cheek.
I blink, the room swimming into focus, Declan and Sebastian’s worried stares boring into me. But I’m not scared or withering away this time. I’mfurious. I push to my feet, letting my shoulders roll back as I glance at the front door like Kurt’s just going to waltz through to hear these words. “I’m going to kill him.” None of my men move. I’m not sure they know exactly why I want to kill him. “I went overseas, remember? That fucking bastard…” I’ve never referred to my brother as such, still held something for the man I shared a childhood with but right now I’m not feeling any of that love. “I swear to fucking god if I find out that he knew, I’m going to kill him myself.”
The temperature in the room shifts and I realize no one is talking because they’re all on edge, fighting their desires to either wrap me up in a cocoon or drag my brother in here so I can have at him. As much as I want the answers, I also know that my strength is at its end. Today was hard enough withthe funeral and then Heath. I won’t survive standing up to my brother without curling into myself afterward.
No, some battles need to be saved for another day.
“I’m sleeping at the hotel, Bast. I don’t want to wake up to Kurt’s giddy smile knowing he might have sent me to hell.”
Sebastian nods, immediately understanding as I stomp back toward the door, still trying to hold onto whatever confidence I have left. It’s draining but in a half an hour, I can be buried under a blanket, plastered to a chest of my choice, and block the world out.
