Page 54 of Risky Taste
NOAH
Three days later, the house is quiet and I find myself being carried everywhere through the house like I don’t have two very good feet to walk on. However, every time I wince, they’re right there, offering me comfort and sweet kisses and then picking me up to deposit me wherever I want to go.
But it’s time to face reality, to step outside, to resume something like life. I’ve had hours to think, tangled in their silence, in the moments we’ve shared without words, and it hits me hard: I don’t want to be in this house anymore. The good memories—Mom’s laugh, Dad’s coffee, Ronny’s bright smiles—are here, but they’re tainted now, smeared by Heath’s blood staining the wood floor, a dark patch I can’t unsee. I haven’t been back in my room but I know the last thing I want to see is the crimson carpet just beneath my window.
Moving a few seconds slower, I would have been the one dead or Sebastian would have.
My hearing’s creeping back in my left ear, faint sounds filtering through the haze but the ringing tags along, a sharp whine that spikes when I move too fast. Carl checked me yesterday, saying that it might be a while before it resets but that my hearing coming back’s a good sign. I cling to that, a thin thread of hope, but it doesn’t erase how much I no longer want to behere.
With so much chaos running around in my head, I choose to visit the one place I know that will calm me. I’ve been meaning to come here—Ronny’s grave—to tell him about every crazy thing that’s happened since I lost him and then tell him how sorry I am that I couldn’t hold him one last time.
My knees sink into the damp grass beside his grave, a single rose clutched in my hand. The headstone’s beautiful—smooth granite, his name carved deep, a soldier’s mark—and I stare at it, tears threatening to make an appearance. “Sorry I didn’t come sooner,” I say, my voice cracking, laying the rose at the base. “Was just a little tied up in my brother’s conspiracy.” My men stand a ways back, their steady presence giving me the comfort I so desperately need.
I reach forward, my hand pressing to the cool stone, and let it spill, everything I’ve held in. “It’s been crazy, Ronny. Last week or so—Kurt lost his damn mind, came after me, sent Heath to finish it. I shot a guy, point-blank. I had no idea I still had that kind of reaction time. Heath’s feet are fucked. Oh and Declan beat Kurt to a pulp. It’s over, mostly, but it’s a mess still.” I pause, my fingers tracing the edge of the stone, the tears falling now, dripping onto my jeans. “You’d have loved Maura, though. She’s tough, sweet—Logan’s mom, can you believe it?” I laugh, imagining him meeting her, charming her like he did everyone.
Over the years, Ronny was the one I spilled my deepest darkest secrets to. He knew about my one night stands in college, my lingering love for Sebastian, and my issues withHeath. He would have been here, cheering me on, telling me how I was a lucky bastard with three boyfriends when he couldn’t even get one.
I relish in that feeling before deciding to bare the rest of my heart, exposing the issues with my ear and how lost I feel in all of this, but especially the fact that my house no longer feels like a home. “This house—it had you, Mom, Dad, all the good shit, but it’s stained now. Blood on the floor, Kurt’s ghost in every corner. I can’t breathe here. I’ve got them—Declan, Sebastian, Logan—and they’re enough, you know? But I need out.”
I stand up slow from Ronny’s grave and brush my hand over the headstone one last time, a quiet goodbye. The rose sits there, red against the gray, and I feel the weight lift, just a little, as I turn around. Ginny and Sarah are there, a few steps away, their eyes brimming with tears, catching me off guard as they rush forward. We crash into a big hug, their arms tight around me, a tangle of warmth I didn’t know I needed.
“We’re so happy you’re okay,” Ginny says, her voice thick, pulling back to look at me, her hands on my shoulders.
“Yeah,” Sarah adds, wiping her eyes, a shaky smile breaking through. “We heard stuff in the news—crazy stuff—and we were worried sick.”
I nod, my throat tight, managing a small grin. “I’ve been better, but I’ve got wonderful men to support me.” I glance back at them, the three of them leaning against the car just a few feet away. There’s only a few words shared between us, the silence wrapping around us more comfortable than it is awkward.
There isn’t much to say, though and it doesn’t feel like I have to, either. “Don’t be a stranger, Noah.”
“I won’t,” I promise, feeling a little lighter as I track my way back to the car. Sebastian meets me halfway, his hand finding mine, his eyes searching. “You’re really okay?” he asks, his voice rough with that edge of worry he can’t hide.
“Yeah,” I say, surprising myself with how true it feels. “Thought I’d be worse off. Thought I’d want something to dull the pain, but there isn’t the pain I expected. It’s almost like a relief, knowing most of the bad shit that happened to me could be explained. Wasn’t karma or bad luck—just a psychotic cousin.” A mild laugh slips out, bitter but light, and I lean up, kissing him, his lips warm against mine.
“I love you,” he murmurs, pulling back just enough to say it, his breath brushing my skin.
“I love you too,” I repeat back and then turn to catch Declan and Logan’s eyes. “I’m in love with all of you. I love you so much.”
Logan steps closer, his grin crooked, warm. “Love you too, Bunny. However, I heard you don’t want to be here anymore.”
I nod, my hands shoving into my pockets. “I just want someplace normal, safe, different. This house… I can’t see it the same anymore. I can’t even go into my own bedroom.”
Logan tilts his head, his eyes glinting. “Is this your way of asking us to make it official?”
“Thought we already were?” More laughter ripples between us as we pile into the car.
Logan slides into the driver’s seat, his hand resting on my knee as he starts the engine. “I think our paths were slowly converging much longer than we ever thought, sweetheart. But yeah, I can get on board with something different, something new. We can’t stray too far with the investigation but you got something in mind?”
I don’t even really have to think about it. “Handelbrook? It feels like family there.”
“Yeah, it does,” Logan squeezes my thigh as Declan peaks his head between the front seats.
“This just means better access topie.”
Sebastian wrangles him back, laughter ringing out in the car again while I fantasize about Maura beating Declan out of the kitchen, a warm happy home that I miss so goddamn much. There’s justonerequirement I have. “We’re moving into our own place, right?” Because I swear, the shame of Maura finding me wrapped around these three isn’t an embarrassment I can live through.
My question just brings more laughter, so infectious that I find myself smiling, knowing that while we still have a few more hiccups to wade through, we’re going to be just fine.
Chapter forty
