Page 13 of Risky Taste
That night with Logan and Declan in college—a reckless blur of hands and heat—I buried it deep, locked it away where it couldn’t haunt me. Last night with Sebastian tore that lock apart. I want them in a way that terrifies me, a hunger that gnaws at my bones. But Kurt overshadows all those desires because if he ever found out, he would destroy us all…literally.
Sebastian moves closer, his bare feet silent on the floor, but I shake my head, a silent plea to stop. Logan’s gaze softens, pity flickering in those blue depths. I don’t want their pity. I want their strength, their fire, their ability to hold me together when I’m falling apart. But I can’t have it.
“We’re not doing this.” My voice cracks as I shove past Logan.
“Noah. I’m not going to force anything you don’t want. None of us are. But don’t for a second think this isn’t happening because of your brother. It’s because you told us no.”
“Kurt—” I start, my throat tightening.
Logan cuts me off, his voice a low growl that rumbles through the room. “Honestly? Fuck him. This is between us. He’s not part of this. However, I’m not going to let you deal with all of this other shit alone.”
I twist around, my breath hitching as I realize how close he’s gotten. His royal blue eyes lock onto mine, darkening with a mixture of desire and disappointment.
“What?” My whisper is hoarse, barely audible over the pounding in my ears.
“You need someone to talk to. Someone to unload all those heavy emotions onto. And fuck, Noah. I’m offering. I can’t see you spiral. Not again.”
Not again.He’s seen me spiral before. Shame floods my chest as I stumble out of my room and down the steps. Kurt needs help with breakfast, a welcome distraction to everything that just happened.
Don’t for a second think this isn’t happening because of your brother.Logan’s voice echoes in my head. Which means he wants me. Sebastian too.
Heat creeps back into my cheeks at the thought of LoganandSebastian before Kurt’s voice rips me from it, annoyingly cheerful, a jarring note that shatters the fantasy.
“Noah! You gonna stand there all day or help me flip these pancakes?” He’s at the stove, oblivious as always, his laughter bouncing off the kitchen walls.
I stuff down all the emotions, knowing that I need to deal with all the chaos that suddenly dropped into my life. If I don’t, I could very well find myself regressing, at the bottom of a bottle, amber liquid drowning the screams in my head. I’ve been there before, curled up on the bathroom floor with whiskey burning my throat, Heath’s sneering face hovering above me. I can’t go back. I won’t.
Logan and Sebastian stride into the kitchen and Kurt greets them with a booming laugh, clapping Sebastian on the shoulder, completely blind to what unfolded upstairs. Logan slides behind me, his hands finding my hips for a brief moment, lips grazing my head before I grab his wrist, giving in for the first real time in my life.
In the span of five minutes, both Sebastian and Logan told me that I needed someone, said that I couldn’t do this all on my own.
Help me.I don’t speak it, but the plea bleeds into my gaze.
Relief floods his expression, softening the hard lines of his face. His lips part, a silent promise reaching back. He sees me. Knows me. Understands the storm raging inside my skull, the one I’ve hidden from everyone else.
Sebastian watches from across the room, his green eyes focused on us both, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. They’re here, offering a lifeline I don’t deserve, a tether to pull me from the abyss.
The moment breaks as Kurt enlists Sebastian’s help and then points me to the dishes already stacked on the table. I release Logan’s wrist, my hand falling limp at my side. Asking for help is terrifying, knowing I’ll have to relive moments I’ve hidden away.
But it’s almost more terrifying knowing that two of the men in this room want me. Not just as a passing thought but for more than even Heath ever gave me.
And I want them. They’ve already mentioned they’ll stand up to Kurt, that he’s not what’s stopping them. I mull over it, watching Sebastian and Logan seamlessly work around my brother. That’s when the little spark of hope flickers in my chest and I grin.
Is this a line I want to cross?
Yeah, I think it is.
Just after I figure out all the other chaos in my head.
Chapter eight
NOAH
My attention is ripped away to my phone buzzing.
I force a neutral expression over my face, my lips a tight line as I skim the email regarding Ronny’s funeral. Later this week I’ll watch them lower him into the ground, a final goodbye to my best friend, a man who had become my anchor, my lifeline, and a brother in every sense of the word.
My nose wrinkles as I hold back the tears. That would be the one thing Kurt picked up on and he’d prod until he got his answers. There would be no soft delivery, no nice words, no ‘sorry for your loss’. Just another ‘suck it up, baby bro’ and whatever other harsh words he’d add.
