Page 17 of Risky Taste
Chapter ten
DECLAN
Leaving Noah this morning takes every ounce of control I can scrape together. My hands itch to drag him closer, to erase the distance between us after he looks at me with those haunted brown eyes, pleading.
I want to bury myself in him, lose myself in the heat of his skin, but I can’t. There was only so much I could do with Kurt upstairs, without angering the guy before he acted out. After all, Noah still lives there and as much as I don’t want to drive a wedge between them… Kurt grates on my nerves. Family, sure, but he also pisses me off at times.
More often than not.
And with the way he’s handling Noah right now—less than gently—I can’t force myself to care about what he wants. Even if that means we’re going to suffer the guy’s wrath. I’m not even sure why I feel so strongly about this, but the irritation is startingto bubble up, memories of these past three years filtering in my head that I tried to bury.
Memories that weren’t always good, that sometimes ended in petty fights and loud words. I’ve made peace with my relationship with Kurt but we’re closer to estranged siblings than best friends—not that Kurt sees it like that.
I head to the hotel a few streets over and then up the stairs to the room Sebastian always rents when we get back. I swipe the key card he handed us, my shoulders falling as I step inside. “Heads up,” I mutter as the door swings shut behind me. Sebastian’s sprawled on the edge of his mattress, his broad frame hunched, green eyes flicking up from the floor. Logan rolls onto his side on the other bed, peeling his gaze from the TV. Sebastian’s fancy excuse about needing space didn’t fool us. The truth is uglier—his scars run deeper than ours, jagged lines crisscrossing his chest, his mind a battlefield that turns sleep into a war. We’re all aware he hasn’t slept that well in years, not until last night with Noah pressed against him.
Something that I’m not even sure Noah is aware of—that he quiets the demons in Sebastian’s head. He always has.
Unlike our connection with Kurt, Sebastian, Logan, and I are something else—brothers in a way that defies words. We move together, breathe together, share everything. Secrets don’t survive between us, not for long.
“After Logan mentioned Kurt was pissed, something felt off. That fucker charged at Noah. You didn’t see his face—eyes shut, braced like he was waiting for a fist. Kurt said he wouldn’t hit his brother but I think all of this might push him too far.” I’m still warring with the decision to pull Noah out of that house but it’s his choice whether to stay or leave. However, if I get the hint of Kurt trying some bullshit, I’m not leaving Noah there.
Sebastian’s dark gaze meets mine, his face twisted with anger. “How much does Kurt know?”
“A lot. I’m not sure the extent but I caught the tail end of a few things. He’s a heartless bastard and we all knew that but I guess I thought things were different between him and Noah. It’s why I thought he warned us all off of him but I think it’s just because he doesn’t want to lose us as friends.”
Logan lets out a bitter laugh. “Let him try hitting Noah again and there won’t be friends to have. How’s Noah?”
“As good as he can be and if I stayed any longer, I’d be wrapped around him. With how angry Kurt is, pretty sure one of us would have ended up in the hospital and Noah doesn’t need anymore loss. Kurt’s probably on his way over to reiterate that Noah is off limits.”
Someone’s phone vibrates and Sebastian reaches over to the night stand for his device. “That was fast. He said he’s here.”
A sharp knock cuts through the room a few minutes later before the door flies open and Kurt storms in, his face a mask of fury, eyes wild, jaw clenched. “Someone better start explaining.”
Sebastian rises, towering over Kurt. “Explain what?”
“Beast. Don’t fucking play with me.” Kurt’s eyes dart between us, his face scrunching tighter, anger twisting his features into something feral. “I’ve been watching you three since you got back. Barely a day and you three are definitely focused on my brother. You dating him? Taking turns? What is it? Because I saw Declan get soft today and that shit doesn’t happen.” When none of us answer, he lets out a little growl that betrays his usually well kept demeanor. “Which one of you is dating him?” Kurt’s voice rises, cracking at the edges, his fists balling at his sides.
“None of us are dating your brother, Kurt.” Which isn’t a lie. Nothing is official, not until we hand Noah a proposal, one that would include the three of us. “We just noticed he was dealing with—”
“Bullshit.” He cuts me off, his snarl biting through my words. “You’re hovering like flies on shit. You forget that we were together forthree years. I know you like the back of my hand and the moment we got back, it was all eyes on Noah. Him not telling me what was going on with him and finding out you guys knew hurts. Why the fuck would you not tell me about Heath or the drinks or anything else? What’s with all the secrecy?”
I fumble for the right words because the truth is we did tell him. The few conversations Sebastian had with Noah over the last few years were tough. We all knew something was wrong but Sebastian didn’t share the details. He did however urge Kurt to call his brother, to talk to him, to give him some support. It was evident that it was never a priority.
Logan finally sits up, resting his elbows on his knees. “Kurt, Sebastian told you multiple times to call your brother, to check in. He might not have given you details but the fact that you never reached out is on you. When we got back, we all saw Noah drowning. He’s hurting. We were there to—”
Kurt flinches, but his anger doesn’t falter. “And you were? You think you know him better than me? He’smybrother.” His voice cracks, pain bleeding through the fury but he’s lost the right to feel like that. When Noah needed him most, he wasn’t there. Even now, he still isn’t.
“He’s not telling you because you don’t listen,” I snap, the words spilling out before I can stop them. “You charge in, demand answers, and then walk away. You brush off his feelings or tell him that things will get better if he sucks it up.” It’s something he does with us too but that’s a lot easier to hear when I’ve broken my leg instead of losing my best friend to his demons. “He’s scared of you, Kurt. Scared of what you’ll do.”
Kurt chews on his bottom lip, glaring at the three of us, his expression slowly twisting until it’s full of venom. I can tell that he hates this arrangement, hates that he’s been so blind, andhates that it’s his fault. “Next time some bullshit happens, you bring it to me. He’s my brother. How do you think it makes me feel when my buddies all know that he’s suffering while I think things are just peachy? I made fun of the lack of alcohol in the house. Look. He can tutor you. But leave everything else to me. His family. He doesn’t need you hovering. I got this.” His gaze snaps to Sebastian. “I’m not as stupid as you think I am. I know you two had something. But that shit’s over. It has to be. My brother needs to heal. Not be distracted by your need to warm your bed. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Then Kurt turns on his heel and stomps out.
I resist the urge to laugh because everything that just came out of that man’s mouth is fucking ridiculous. In no world will Kurt be able to handle Noah gently enough to keep his brother from breaking. “Remember when we thought finding another squad member was ridiculous?” No one laughs. “So. We heeding Kurt’s warning?” I know I’m not.
A low growl rumbles from Sebastian’s throat, his head shaking as he leans forward. “Kurt’s right. Noah needs to heal. However, what if Noah’s healing includes me? You? Logan? What if what he needs is us? I’m not leaving Noah to figure all this bullshit out alone. If that means we’re just his support system, so be it. And if it’s more…”
That’s all I need to hear and one look at Logan tells me we’re on the same page. “Good, because I kind of postponed my math lesson tomorrow to make it more like a date. Thought he could use some time away from everything and I could let him wrap his head around what we’re offering.”
Sebastian chuckles. “How did you know we’d agree?”
