Page 45 of Badges
What is he asking me? “Yes. When my mom started declining, I didn’t leave her. I picked up a second job so she didn’t have to work. I bathed hermyselfwhen she’d get so wasted she’d puke on herself.”
He blinks rapidly, starting at some distant place on the wall. “You didn’t leave her?”
“That’s a ridiculous accusation, Wade. You don’t do that to people you love.” I’m starting to wonder what the hell he’s getting at, so a little heat falls into my tone. “And when CPS came to get Cynthia? They had to bring three fucking men to hold me back because I tried to run off the social worker with a chair leg.”
The frown that he’s worn since he sat starts to lift at the corner. “Now that’s an image.”
I stare at him for a moment. I still don’t know what he’s getting at.
“I don’t have a very big circle. But anyone that’s in it, I’d kill for. I feel bad for those people at that farm. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. Except, they werestrangersto me. My sister is more important.” I hold my breath, waiting for some sort of retort.
He doesn’t say anything.
Picking up his water, his Adam’s apple bobs with several long swallows, then he puts it down into the ring of condensation it left on the table.
“I’m glad,” he exhales. “Loyalty is so fucking rare nowadays.” His teeth clench, then he stands.
When he raises his arm to start unbuttoning his uniform, the thick muscle of his arm makes the fabric snug.
I swear it’s going to rip one of these days if he really flexed.
“I’m gonna go work out for a while,” he says without looking at me, then disappears in the hall towards his room.
What happened today? He’s acting so distracted.
Is he upset about something that happened at work? Why is he questioning my morals?
All I can do is try to figure out what’s in front of me.
It isn’t my place to ask him.
Just keep my head down, find my sister, and then I can leave.
Except this is the first time I’ve felt comfortable in months.
Years.
Ever?
Growing up, every day was riddled with fear of my dad. Then, when he left, it was the terror he’d find us.
That shifted to how would we survive? Mom could barely keep a roof over us, and we had to move a lot because she’d have a hard time paying the rent.
What am I going to do after I find Cynthia? I’ll cross that bridge later. I can get another job, buy another car.
There’s no way I’ll leave her. Not until my heart beats for the last time.
The fact he’d even suggest I’d abandon Mom irritates me. Or was he suggesting I might give up on my sister? My own family?
By the time he steps out of his room, I’m pissed.
I don’t care if I can see the ripples in his abs under his tight t-shirt. And the long definition of muscles in his thick thighs where his little gray shorts stop.
The way his veins pop in his forearms when he squeezes his towel before draping it over his broad shoulders.
Fucker.
All sexy and shit. It takes some of the cranky out of me when he tosses me a lop sided smile, then heads downstairs.
