Page 68 of Badges
He slides it onto the counter, dropping his hat next to it to reveal his coppery hair pressed into the shape of his Stetson over his ears. “I had lunch with Blue.” His gaze narrows, glancing at my crossed arms.
Then a slow smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth. “Val said to say ‘hi’.”
Something inside of me breaks.
“Stopped by the bar for a quickie?” I grab his pizza and toss the whole container directly into the fridge.
Who cares if I let it shut hard enough to rattle the glasses in the cupboard next to it.
But when I pivot on my heel, I’m met with his hard chest.
“You don’t get to do that,” he growls.
I blink up at him, my lips forming a tight purse. “Do what? Put away your leftovers?”
“No.” He steps closer, pressing me against the counter and frames me with his arms against the granite. “Act all fucking jealous after you told me that things have changed between us.”
He lowers his face to be level with mine. “You can’t say you don’t want me, then still expect to own me.”
“I don’t.” I raise my jaw. “You aren’t mine. I just—”
Fuck if I can keep my chin from trembling. I try to cover it with a ragged inhale.
His hot breath creeps over my throat. “Really? You’re acting awfully upset for someone who doesn’t care.”
Biting the inside of my cheek doesn’t help to quell the shaking in my voice. “I never said I didn’t,” I whisper.
I do though, damn him. I always wonder how he’s going to like what I’ve made him. There’s a piece of me that revels in seeing his reaction when I flirt with him.
And I like how hard he’s working to help me find my sister. It’s almost like he wants to find her as much as I do, even before knowing he might be her dad.
I want him to want me so badly it aches.
Thinking that he doesn’t feel the same is like being stabbed with the thinnest blade over and over. I try to push it down.
But it’s there. Always.
I’ve never been put first by anyone. Keeping him at a distance is safer than getting my heart broken.
“If you care—” His hands against the counter shift closer, wedging against my hips. He lowers his lips until they’re tickling the shell of my ear. “—then why are you pushing me away?”
He watches my tongue dart to the corner of my mouth. “Because Iwantto own you, to be your only one. And the thought that I’m not, that there might be a part of you that loves someone else…it kills me and I don’t want that.”
Tears bead in my eyes, but there’s no way in hell I’ll let them fall.
A rumble in his chest vibrates through me, settling in my thighs to clench them together.
“I gotcha. You’d rather accuse me than give me a chance.” He steps back, taking the heat of his body with him. “I’m not going to fight you. You know it’s not universal? The way I—” He swallows hard with a grimace of pain, like his words are made of broken glass. “—lovedyour mom is different from how I feel about you. Just like I love that little girl without even meeting her—” His finger jabs the air in a vague direction towards the door. “—because not only is she a part of Maria, she’s a part ofyou.” His pupils swell, darkening his eyes. “So if you can’t accept that I can still feel that strongly about them, yet can put you on the pedestal that you deserve, then maybe this won’t work.”
I stand there staring at him, chewing on my bottom lip.
Except what if he changes his mind?
My dad left me. So did my mom. She checked out years before she died.
What little family we had in Texas pushed me aside.
No one helped me to try and keep Cynthia.
