Page 17 of Dirty Lyrics
Because the real truth is this. I’m still in love with him.
And being on my own? It’s terrifying.
So much scarier than I ever imagined. The nights are long, the mornings are lonely, and every decision feels heavier when you’re making it alone.
Having someone to share this with might be nice.
And why not him?
We were friends once, weren’t we? Kind of. Sort of.
Maybe we can find our way back to that place, where the music came easy and laughter wasn’t so rare. Maybe it will all work out.
No one says he has to break my heart.
“Okay,” he says, then turns to the door. “You can come back in.”
“Are you both ready?” Preacher says, looking at me with concern.
I nod.
My breath feels stuck. Like my lungs are too tight to get any oxygen, but that’s not good for the baby.
So, I force my throat to relax. I breathe. Slowly. Counting the seconds.
I watch my soon to be husband.
And Rico nods, too.
“Do you take this man,” the priest starts, and Rico clasps my hand.
I don’t hear anything after that. I just say I do when Rico squeezes, and I watch in awe as he does the same when it’s his turn.
And just like that, I’m married to the rockstar.
chapter 6-rico
I never really allowed myself to wonder what being married would feel like.
But if someone asked me, I don’t think I’d have ever imagined this.
After the brief ceremony at St. Al’s, we went back to Maya’s little apartment above the Whiskey Bar and packed her things.
Not that she had much—some clothes, a few books, notebooks filled with lyrics and scribbles in that looping handwriting of hers.
She looked small, almost embarrassed, shoving her life into two duffel bags while I stood there wanting to pick her up instead.
Her landlord didn’t even blink when I handed him notice.
Hell, the man was amused. Said she was a sweet tenant, always polite, always paid on time.
He waved off the twenty-five grand in cash I tried to leave him as a “sorry for the hassle.”
Didn’t want it.
Said I should come down to the bar sometime for a whiskey on the house.
I don’t drink whiskey, but I agreed.
