Page 30 of Pumpkin
“It was my twenty-first birthday.”
Which meant she was almost twenty-seven. At the very least, he had her first name, or part of her first name, and birthday now. Keys would be able to track her down if needed, but Pumpkin didn’t plan on letting it come to that. He’d bring her around. Once he cleared up some of her misconceptions about him, which he was all too eager to do. Womanizing drunk, he was not.
Finding out her age also meant realizing that there was nearly seven years between them. “I’m thirty-four,” he informed her, though she hadn’t asked.
Dosia’s eyes flicked between him and Frankie. “Good for you?” It sounded like it was a question, which made Pumpkin chuckle.
“Do you believe me now? That I’m not some womanizing drunk?”He was ready to be done with this subject, and move onto better topics of conversation.
Dosia, though, shrugged. “It doesn’t matter if I believe you or not. I appreciate the ride home. I’ll pay you for gas and my dinner in cash. After tonight, we’ll never see each other again.”
Pumpkin leaned in close, grateful for the small table that allowed him to let SJ keep his handandreach for Dosia’s chin at the same time. “Look at me.” While he touched her, he didn’t not pinch or squeeze. He wouldneverhurt her or grab her like whatever the fuck his name was had.
Dosia met his eyes without hesitation, and while he saw anger in her gaze, there was something else too. Something that spoke of hurt and a deep loneliness only someone who had faced the world’s challenges alone could understand. Pumpkin wanted to take all that pain away, to vow here and now that she wouldneverhave to face anything alone again… But even he knew it was too soon for those words. She was already on the brink of running.
Slow and steady would win this race.
Softly, he said, “Please don’t mistake my intentions, now or then. I wanted to keep seeing you six years ago and that desire has not gone away. I searched for you, and by some twist of fate, you ended up at this restaurant tonight too. I don’t plan on letting this opportunity slip through my fingers again. I’m an open book, baby. Ask me anything and I’ll tell you whatever you want to know. No secrets. I told you I’m thirty-four. I’m a single dad to this little guy.” He blindly tickled SJ’s tummy. “I was raised by a single mom because my deadbeat dad bailed on us when I was a toddler. She passed away nearly ten years ago now. Prior to six months ago, I was a mechanic. And probably the most important fact about me is that I fuckinghatepumpkins. What else would you like to know?”
Dosia wasn’tproud of how rude she was being. Not proudat all. And it wasn’t just because she swore she could feel her mother’s ghoststanding behind her, glaring in sheer disappointment at her daughter’s behavior. The worst part? She liked Pumpkin. He was funny and sweet, and gods, he was amazing with his son.
Thankfully, the waitress, Piper, returned with their food before Dosia got a chance to answer Pumpkin’s last question. What elsedidshe want to know about him? Her heart and her brain were so torn. The one thing they could agree on was how much she wanted to knoweverything, and not just because she feared she’d vastly misjudged the guy.
What if…? What if everything she’d thought she knew and had seen six years ago wasn’t true? What if she’d seen certain things and made gross assumptions based on the college students closer to her age?
Dosia hadn’t lost her virginity the night she’d conceived JJ. She’d been with other guys—or she should sayboys. Pumpkin—or Vodka, as she’d thought about him for the last six years—had been the oldest man she’d ever been with.
Her behavior the night of his patch-in party was just as reckless as his had been. They’dbothbeen drunk, and she’d never judged him for that. It would have been entirely hypocritical and ridiculous. When she’d discovered her pregnancy, she’d come back for him. She’dwantedto tell him. Dosia couldn’t remember now what specifically she’d wanted from him, but she knew he had a right to know she was having his baby.
It had been the responsible thing to do.
Sitting next to him at this cramped table, smelling him so close, and watching him with his son, Dosia had to pause to wonder what had really been driving her dislike for this man all these years. He kept saying that, if she’d stayed and hadn’t snuck away in the middle of the night, he’d planned on asking her out. She had no way of knowing that, and she’d been more concerned about getting back to her grandparents’ house than leaving her name and number with him. But she did recall how much she’d liked him, how much she thought about him in the weeks leading up to her taking that pregnancy test. She’deven fantasized about finding him again the next time she’d traveled to Mount Grove to visit family.
Dosia had always been good at being self-aware. Rarely did her subconscious rule an action or decision. Growing up with Calliope, it had been hard to get away with things, and she’d learned at an early age how to take a pause and self-examine her feelings and desires.
As she stared down at her steak, because her ovaries couldn’t take watching Pumpkin spoon-feed his son mac and cheese, she realizedPumpkinhad been the one time she’d been rash, that she hadn’t listened to Calliope and she’d ignored her own desires over what she’d seen that night through the bar window.
Her chin trembled. Because she’d been fucking jealous.
Dosia looked up at the ceiling, and would swear she felt her mom’s hand squeeze her shoulder in comfort as Dosia tried to hold back tears.
She’d been jealous. Plain and simple. At twenty-one, newly pregnant and less mature than she cared to admit, she’d seen Pumpkin through that bar window kissing both women on his lap, and she’d been fucking jealous. Not that she wanted to be one of those women. Maybe it had been more of the fact that he’d been with them at all instead of home alone, pining for her.
And in all honesty, her birthday celebration had been her first time getting drunk. She’d also assumed that he’d remembered more than what he was now claiming to remember, which didn’t sound like it was much more than she remembered.
Gods above, what had she done? What would her life,her daughter’slife, be like now if she’d just pulled up her big-girl panties, stormed into that bar, and told him she was pregnant?
Her eyes fell on SJ, who was a cheesy, drooling mess, and so fucking happy. She’d deprived her daughter ofthis. A father.
Quickly wiping her eyes, Dosia took a shaky breath. She had no intention of telling Pumpkin tonight about JJ. It was neither the time nor the place, and she’d been emotionally, not to mention physically, manipulated enough for one night. She needed to finish her dinner, accept a ride home, exchange numbers with him, andthenfigure outher next step. She would figure out more about Pumpkin, get to know him better, andthenshe could introduce him to his daughter.
Yes, that seemed like a reasonable plan. Something a rational person would do. The fear of how he’d react, that he’d try to take JJ away from her, was still very, very real. She could not,would not, tell him about JJ until she knew for certain that he wouldn’t fight her for custody.
And she still wouldn’t be asking him for anything. She didn’t want or need anything from him.
Realizing that he was only picking at his veggies because they were something he could easily pick up in between feeding SJ airplanes and choo-choo trains of mac and cheese, Dosia pushed her plate aside and reached for his plate. Pumpkin paused, to SJ’s impatience, to watch as she started cutting up his steak into small bites that he could easily feed himself while continuing to feed SJ.
His dark eyes lit up and he sent her a crooked smile that was utterly too sinful. A shiver ran down her spine. Dosia shifted in her seat, feeling like a spotlight had just been placed over her as she tried to ease the ache between her legs.
