Page 88 of Spy With Me
Big Tag nodded. “Take her to bed as often as possible. Playwith her. Top her. Give her what she needs and those walls will come down. Asfor the rest of it, let me deal with it.”
Hope. The man kept giving it to him. “How can you deal withit? Are you talking about the Red Notice? Or the Agency?”
“I assure you I can deal with both.” Big Tag set his glassdown. “You should understand that Drake and I have been presenting a somewhatmade-up version of what happened. Only to our bosses. The rest of the Agencybelieves what we put in the official reports.”
“And in the unofficial ones?”
Big Tag’s lips pulled up in a slight grin. “Well, I’m knownfor being a ruthless bastard who takes men who are loyal to me and manipulatesthem into doing my bidding.”
“That’s bullshit.” Tag always treated his team right.
“It’s a reputation I haven’t earned, but I find it usefulfrom time to time. I always knew about your mother. I used the Toronto op toalienate you off from the group and split Huisman’s attention. The BOLOs andRed Notices are for his benefit,” Big Tag explained. “To make you look like thecriminal we’re pretending you are. You’re undercover, Zach. If some Agencyidiot brings you in, you’ll sit in a cell until you’re released into mycustody. There will be a reckoning at the end of this if we don’t stop Huisman.If we do, then no one will ask any questions.”
He was damn near floored by the revelation. “But you didn’ttell the team?”
“Yeah, well, I kind of wish I had now, but Drake and Idecided it would look more real if we didn’t bring them in. I would have toexplain why I changed my MO. You see a couple of years back my brother was introuble with a group operated by a woman who reminds me a little of Huisman. Afriend of mine ended up being taken in with him. We rescued Theo and Hutch, butI asked Hutch to go back in. I knew no one would be safe while the person whotook Theo was working.”
He knew the story. It wasn’t an Agency op, but he was surethey would know it. Big Tag had sent Hutch in to gather evidence and be his manon the inside. Hutch had been in place to save Devi’s parents when it all wentbad, and Big Tag had maintained the illusion with everyone, including Theo andErin. The man knew how to use his past.
Was Big Tag’s past going to save his future? “I can’t askyou to do this.”
There was too much at risk.
Big Tag sat back. “It’s already done. I can’t go back andsay oops, I didn’t mean that. I’m not asking your permission, son. I’m tellingyou what the story is. I know a couple of writers, and it’s always good to edityour story. Sometimes they start over when they started in the wrong place. Soyou came to me when you realized your mother was involved. You had made a hashof The Jester business and wanted me to help. I asked you to valiantly goundercover, and here we are.”
It sounded far too good to be true. “And all the stuff withDevi?”
“The inevitable consequences of hiring young dumbasses. Theyget horny and lose their minds. I’m handling it. At least that’s the way Henryand I explained things to the director a couple of hours ago.”
He slammed back the rest of the drink. He needed it. “Whywould you do this for me? I shouldn’t let you.”
“That is your dumbass talking. Zachary, I’m going to tellyou a secret no one likes to talk about. The most adult and masculine thing youcan do is ask for help when you need it. The best thing you can possibly do foryour family is let them take care of you when you’re wounded, and you’rewounded, Zach. I know you think it would be better for everyone if you went outin a blaze of glory, but you’re fucking wrong. You ruin a lot of people ifthat’s the path you go down. Devi never recovers. Your team will always wonderwhy you didn’t trust them enough to let them save you.”
Damn. Tears. He didn’t cry. It wasn’t like his aunt hadbeaten it out of him. She’d been lovely. His mother when she was around hadloved him in her way. But the world had shown him time and time again thatemotions weren’t for him. But here they were.
“Ask me, Zach. You already know the answer. I know it’s hardwhen you’ve always been the one who had to be strong. But this is strength.This is being strong enough to let people love you, to trust them even thoughthere’s nothing in your past that tells you this will work out. Let the peoplewho love you make the choice to risk for you. The way you would and have forthem. So ask me the question and let us be done with this part.”
This part was him having control. If he did as Big Tagasked, he was trusting the man with everything. He was giving up the option ofmaking decisions based on himself. He would have to trust that Big Tag wouldhelp him.
Like a dad would.
“Will you please help me? I’m in trouble.” The hardest wordsto get out, and yet something freed up inside him as he said them.
“And I will make it right.” Big Tag stood and held out ahand. “Take care of my niece and I’ll handle this. But seriously, your team isgoing to give you hell forever.”
The utter relief that flooded his system was a revelation.He forced himself to stand, to take the hand of the man who had been more of afather than his had ever been. This man was who he wanted to be. Stalwart.Loving. Utterly ruthless when it came to protecting the people he loved. “I’lltake it. I want to come home.”
Big Tag pulled him in for a hug. “Then come home, Zach. I’llmake things right with the authorities. You make them right with Devi andCooper. Everyone will fall into place. Come home.”
When Zach broke, Big Tag didn’t falter. He didn’t retreat tosarcasm.
He was just a dad.
After a moment he felt another hand on his back.
“Come home, brother.” Cooper. His brother.
“I’m sorry,” Zach managed.
