Page 35 of Shatter
Ditching the test in the bin with several others, I washed my hands again and put a small amount of makeup on. Enough to cover the bags under my eyes from lack of sleep, and color my pale cheeks. Locking eyes with myself in the mirror, I felt I’d aged ten years in the previous week. Unemployed and single, I knew I’d put off the inevitable for as long as I could. Evie didn’t know it yet, but tonight was my farewell drinks. Farewell Swenton. Farewell journalism career.
God, I needed a drink.
With a deep breath, I headed out to the lounge, swiping my purse off the sofa on my way to the door.
I would miss my apartment when I was gone. This may all have been a giant failed experiment, but at least I could say I tried.
Down on the street outside my apartment building, I sucked in a deep breath, enjoying the summer evening air. Foot traffic was light on the pavement, and I took a moment to look over the street. The storefronts and apartment buildings all looked just as they had every morning I stepped out my door since I moved in, but now it occurred to me exactly how convenient it had been having everything within walking distance. I’d never owned a car, had never been able to afford the expense, and I hadn’t missed the experience living in Swenton. Ubers were a tap of my cell away, and everything else was an easy walk. It wouldn’t be like that in Fankirth. I wondered if my bicycle was still lying around in the garage. Mom still had Dad’s old truck, the same one I had learned to drive in and never touched again. Maybe we could do a time share so I could get a job at the grocer in town or something. I could try for a spot at the local paper, but without a reference from the Swenton Times, I would have to start at the bottom again. I could do it, and probably would eventually, but for now it seemed like it’d require too much energy.
Before I could descend further into my depressive headspace, a familiar sedan pulled up beside me. Instantly, memories flooded in. The abortion clinic, the procedure, the drive afterward where we pretended we could just go on forever. Evie had seemed like she had even less interest in going home than me that night. I never asked about it, though.
I really was a terrible friend.
The window rolled down on a smooth slide and she leaned across the passenger seat with a grin pasted on her red-lipped face.
“Get in, we’re going dancing.”
“And drinking, right?” I asked, sliding into the car and fastening my seatbelt as she floored the accelerator.
“Oh, we are definitely drinking. I’ve already organized for a friend to drive this thing, and us, home. Don’t worry about anything, just enjoy tonight.”
Her enthusiasm was infectious, and I was reminded of how she did so well as head cheerleader. Rich, beautiful, and genuinely one of the nicest people I had ever met, Evie was capable of taking on the world. Her eyes told a different story, though. There was a lot more to Evie Wighson than what she showed the world, but I had never had the courage to ask. It seemed too intimate, somehow.
We pulled up outside a funky looking bar just outside of town, and I glanced nervously at the line of motorcycles outside the front door. “Should we be here?” I asked, eyeing a huge guy in a leather jacket who leaned comfortably against the building smoking a cigarette. “Of course. Just… don’t piss anyone off. Cody’s cousin owns the place. We’ll be fine.” Evie slipped out of the car and waved to the big scary guy.
“Gerry! Hey, this is my friend, Darcy.”
The guy lifted his chin in greeting and returned to smoking his cigarette.
“He doesn’t speak a whole lot, but he’s cool once you get to know him,” she told me as we pushed our way into the bar and beelined for a table near the exit, but out of the way. Evie started a tab and returned to the table with a tray of shot glasses full of various color combinations of spirits and two tall cocktail glasses.
“Holy shit, Evie. We want to last more than an hour.”
She laughed and put the tray down, passing a cocktail and shot glass to me and holding her own glass out to cheers. “What’d I tell you? Don’t worry. Enjoy.”
Screw it.
Tonight was going to be about fun. Tomorrow I could be the — probably hungover — responsible adult who had to move home to her mom’s house.
Grabbing the nearest glass, I clinked it to Evie’s and threw the concoction down my throat. The spirits burned their way into my stomach, loosening my muscles and making me relax back into my seat. We drank a couple more before Evie decided we had to check out the selections on the old-school jukebox in the corner of the room.
As song after song played, we danced, dragging in other patrons and generally having a great time. Despite seeming intimidating, everyone was really friendly. It could have been Gerry’s presence, or maybe people didn’t feel the need to posture, I couldn’t say which, but it was nice to have the freedom to just have fun for once.
Hours later, my feet ached and I sat in a booth chatting with Evie.
“I’m so glad you came back,” she muttered, head resting on my shoulder. Her eyelids were half-closed, her usual put-together self more undone than I had ever seen her.
“You and Kane, you’re true love. It’s such an amazing thing you guys have together.”
I shifted uncomfortably. Had she forgotten we were over?
“Evie—”
“No, seriously. I’ve been terrified to let Cody go for years. I love him, but I’m not in love with him. We’ve never looked at each other the way you and Kane always have, even when you weren’t together. Cody’s a safety blanket, and that’s not fair to him. I want him to find what you two have.” She let out a small laugh. “I didn’t want my parents to get involved in my life and decide who I should be with, and they like Cody — clearly they have no idea what his family does — but without him, it’s just me, y’know? I want to be enough, but it’s so much easier to fight for other people than it is to fight for yourself.”
I wasn’t exactly sure what she meant, but I stroked her hair, listening to something she was clearly trying to puzzle out.
“He’s my best friend and I don’t want to lose him, but I also don’t want to keep him because it’s easy. Does that make sense?”
