Page 25 of False Start
I was in so much trouble.
“You guys are good for each other,” Marina murmured.
Ridley and Cami continued with their conversation, but Marina’s eyes were firm on me.
“I don’t know how good I am for him.”
She made a rude noise. “You didn’t see him last year. Honestly, we’ve been worried about him for a while, but he seems better since he met you. Happier. It’s really nice to see.”
Guilt stabbed through me at the lie we were keeping. Would they think the same thing if they knew I was using him? Even with his permission, I felt like a shitty human being.
It occurred to me that when this all ended, I’d lose these people too. Not just Weston, but all of them.
Marina’s words stayed with me through dinner and dessert, where Weston proved that he hadn’t exaggerated his baking prowess with an assortment of pastries that admittedly turned me on a little more than they should have.
Why were sweets hot?
Marina and Christian made their excuses first, keen to check in on the sleepover the girls were having next door. “They were pitching a scary movie before we left, and if they decided to watch it despite what we said, it’s going to be a long night,” Marina said with a rueful shake of her head. Christian chuckled, but his brows pinched like he might have been equally worried for his sleep.
Each of them gave me one last congratulations, then headed out.
Cami and Ridley didn’t last much longer before heading home.
“I can stay and help with clean up,” I murmured to Weston as we waved them off at the door.
“Thank you,” he said, closing the door behind us as I went in search of garbage bags.
“It’s the least I could do. Thank you for tonight, it meant a lot.”I poked my head into cupboards as I spoke, unsure what kind of sorting system he had set up, and wanting to downplay how much his gesture had really meant to me.
He leaned a hip against the counter and pointed to a cupboard beneath the sink. “Bags are in there. Could you pass me a second one for recycling?”
We worked together efficiently, clearing the bottles and debris of the celebration in companionable silence. Once it was cleared, we settled on two loungers at the edge of his outdoor space.
“How is it that when I’m with you I don’t feel the need to be anyone but myself?” I pondered aloud.
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” His voice was warm with a hint of amusement.
“I’m serious.” I rolled to my side to look him in the eye. “It’s like… I’m safe to drop the mask. It’s fucking terrifying.”
Weston pulled himself upright, sitting on the edge of his lounge chair. “Why is it terrifying?”
“Because it’s going to end.”
He rubbed his hands together, head bowed, as the sounds of the night filled the silent backyard.
“You have the job now,” he said after a while. It felt far too close to a goodbye for my liking.
“I don’t think we should stop just yet, though. You said it should be mutual, and if we break up as soon as I get the role, it’ll look like I used you.”
Never mind that I did. That despite what Marina said, I was very much the only one benefiting from this arrangement. I couldn’t let it end yet.
“So we continue,” he said, studying me. I mostly hid my sigh of relief as I nodded. “Until it’s safe to stop.”
I didn’t mention my growing wish that that day would never come.
My body felt warm. Full of good food, good wine, and maybe a little more than like for the man beside me.
The desire to give him pleasure had only grown since our night together, and with the thoughtful gathering he’d arranged just for me, there was only one way I wanted to show my appreciation.
