Page 71 of The Goode Girls of Maple Lane
If I was gaping before, my jaw is now completely unhinged. The room goes quiet, other than Aggie’s slightly labored breathing as she twitches her way through a dream. Anticipation hums between us while my friends’ generous offers hang in the air. This time, despite a familiar tug of resistance, I don’t question the kindness or let my brain twist it into something that has to be transactional. I allow my smile to build, and the burst of happiness and gratitude to expand in my chest, warm, bright, vast, and unfettered by the lessons I’m finally letting myself unlearn.
“I love you,” I say. “All of you. You know that?”
They all respond at once, some earnest, some teasing me for being earnest. Minh Ha scratches Pilot’s head. Tegan and Regina snuggle closer. Khalil and Hannah make more heart eyes at each other. Everett leans forward and wraps his arms around me, holding me in a snuggly embrace made even snugglier by yet another cozy sweater his sister made for him.
As I lean into him with a heart so full I wonder how it still fits in my chest, Aggie stirs from her nap and blinks up at me, rolling onto her back for a belly rub.
It started with you, I think as I bury my hands in her floof.It all started with you.
Everyone soon heads home, with Hannah and Khalil the last to leave after helping us clean up. Maybe she stays at my place but more likely at his, which I look forward to hearing about tomorrow morning while Everett drives us to Lake Placid with the late spring trees in full bloom, Aggie’s head hanging out the window, and Neil Diamond blasting at full volume.
Aggie settles in now on the bed we keep for her at Everett’s, where we sleep more often than not these days, snuggling with her cow, her favorite pink ball, and her monkey, though we’ve selfishly removed the squeakers from her overnight toys. She was confused at first, and gave us her most convincing sad eyes, but as always, she forgave us and loves us anyway, a lesson I suspect she’ll teach me a thousand times over in the days and years to come.
As I climb into bed with Everett, I take care of one last, unfinished task by finding my phone and opening TikTok to my mom’s account. It’s filled with cheerful videos of social outings and posed moments with my dad, almost always with her arm around him, much less often with his arm around her. Shortly after Hannah’s last visit, I asked my mom if she was lonely or if she ever wished my dad made more of an effort to spend time with her. She expressed astonishment at my questions, assuring me everything was great, wonderful, perfect. Her life. Her job. Her friendships. Her marriage. I may always wonder if I would’ve handled my loneliness better if she’d been more open and accepting of her own, but I can’t change that now. I can, however, accept that social media has given her something more than a platform for relentless positivity. It’s where she finds connection, and I understand that a lot better now that I’ve seen more of its positive sides. So, after years of stubbornlyrefusing to engage, I get over myself and give her the only reassurance I know she’ll accept.
I tap the screen and like her latest post.
“Everything good?” Everett asks as he snuggles close and pulls me against him.
“More than good.” I set aside my phone, turn out the light, and rotate to face him, toying with the curls that curtain his forehead while his fingertips brush circles on my lower back. All these little ways we reach for each other, each one a tiny miracle of human connection.
“I love you,” Everett says with a gentle sincerity, and no matter how many times I’ve heard the words now, they still hit hard. I hope they always do.
“I love you, too,” I say back.
Thump, thump, thump, says Aggie’s tail.
And all feels right in the world.
Epilogue
Two Years Later
On a beautiful day in early June, in the tiny riverside town of Little Falls, New York, Aggie watches from the front porch of our cute yellow bungalow while I roll a dolly stacked with boxes up a temporary ramp and past her, gradually unloading the U-Haul that contains all of my belongings, half of Everett’s belongings, and an egregiously large collection of dog toys and accoutrement. We pulled in half an hour ago, eager to settle into the house we bought together. It has a fenced yard for Aggie, lots of garden beds for Everett, an on-site washer and dryer for all of us, and no painfully slow elevator to get stuck in, though I suppose that has its drawbacks, too.
After countless applications and interviews, I’m joining a veterinary practice with two Cornell alums who were elated that I was interested in moving to New York’s second-smallest city, and that my partner could do most of his work remotely, making the two-hour drive to Ithaca as needed. He’s keeping his apartment there, at least until we settle into a routine and he knows how often he’llneed to be in the office. He told me to wait on unpacking while he picks up lunch—an errand he was weirdly insistent about since we had breakfast in Ithaca less than three hours ago—but I figured I might as well get started.
I pause after the tenth or twelfth load to sit by Aggie and give her floof a good scratch. She was excited, as always, when we helped her into the station wagon, or as we’ve come to call it, the adventure box, since she never knows where she’s going so it’s always an adventure. Now, she seems a little despondent, and probably not only because she’s watching for Everett.
“I know it’s a lot of change,” I tell her. “But we’ll have a good life here. We’ll make new friends, and explore new parks, and find a baker who bakes you dog cookies.”
She drops her head into my lap with a heavy sigh.
“I know,” I tell her again. “It’s a lot of change for me, too.”
I take a selfie and text it to the MLA6 group thread that includes everyone from the sixth floor of the Maple Lane Apartments, plus Hannah, who we admitted as an honorary member, even though she stayed in the UK, opting to finish her degree there before entering Cornell’s one-year LL.M. program for graduates with non-US degrees. She’ll be here in the fall and I can’t wait to have her closer. Neither can Khalil, who’s already setting up their new place in a much nicer building and with a guest bedroom Aggie and I will see a lot of in the months to come.
As it turns out, Everett will be the last holdout at the Maple Lane Apartments. Felicity left to room with her friend shortly before my third year started. Regina and Tegan moved to New York City last summer when Regina’s latest line of sportswear took off. Minh Ha got a tenure-track job at Brown that she started last fall. Everyonehas gone their separate ways, as I suppose happens, making me even more grateful that we all intersected when we did, and leaving me determined to hold on in whatever ways I can.
REGINA:#smalltownlife
MINH HA:I’m so happy for all three of you
FELICITY:How’s the closet space?
KHALIL:Can’t wait to visit!
HANNAH:Me first!
