Page 100 of My Fault
The shouts came from my mother and William’s room. I walked out into the hall to hear better. They were arguing.
“What did you want me to do?” my mother shouted. She never shouted unless she was furious. I asked myself what William must have done to put her in such a mood.
“You should have told me!” William roared, even angrier than she. “You’re my wife, for the love of God! After all this time…how could you hide a thing like that from me?”
There were many things my mother might have hidden, but only one that would drive a person crazy that way.
“I couldn’t!” she replied.
As I was listening in, someone squeezed my hips, and I jumped in the air and dropped my shoes. Turning around scared, I screamed:
“What are you doing?”
Nick looked at me with curiosity.
“I should be asking you the same thing,” he replied, not subtle as he looked at my clothing. I couldn’t help checking out his torso, either, in that white shirt that fit him so snugly… What a contrast it made with that jet-black hair!
“Do you know why they’re fighting?” I asked apprehensively.
He looked back and said a simpleno,pressing his hands in the wall on either side of my face and imprisoning me against the wall. “So are you talking to me again?” he said, and I watched every movement of his lips.
I wanted to push him away, but I refused to touch him. If I put a single finger on his body, my resolve would shatter.
“How long are you planning on continuing like this?” he asked, frustrated.
“Until you understand I don’t want you around me.”
He grinned, but his eyes were still desperate.
“You’re dying to kiss me.”
I felt sick. I hated being this nervous, hated that what had started between us had ended up this way.
“I’m dying to kick you,” I said.
He smiled, and I crossed my arms with indignation.
“You going out?” he added.
“Yeah.”
“With Jenna?”
“No, with your dad,” I replied sarcastically. “Do I even know anyone else?”
His hand slid from the wall to the side of my face, and he looked at me differently, so intensely I could hardly stand it.
“Don’t make this harder than it is,” I told him. As much as the distance hurt me, I wanted him to keep away from me. I couldn’t forget what had happened as much as I wanted to, and I could no longer trust him.
His pain burned itself into my retinas. I didn’t know what I was doing, denying my feelings for him, but I was scared to get close, scared to open my heart again, especially to someone like him. It was better to be alone so no one could control me or tell me what to say, or make me suffer.
That night I was going to forget everything, the letter, my stalker, and Nicholas. That night I was going to get drunk and let alcohol wash away all my grief.
34
Nick
I was dead asleep when my phone buzzed, waking me up. I rubbed my face and got a move on when I saw it was Jenna.
