Page 75 of My Fault
He looked at me as if he didn’t understand a word of what I was saying. I didn’t really know what I wanted, either, but casual sex wasn’t something I was into.
“Noah…we won’t do anything you don’t want to do,” he said in a tone that made me melt. He seemed to understand every single thing going through my head. It almost scared me how easily he could read my thoughts.
Blushing, I wished the earth would just open and swallow me up.
“I’d rather we just be friends,” I said, not especially convinced.
“Are you sure? Just friends?”
I nodded, looking down into the water.
“Fine,” he said in what sounded to me like a condescending voice. “But you’re coming to celebrate my birthday with me. If you’re my friend, then you can act like one.”
He swam off and then reached up and lifted himself out of thepool. To me, his words sounded likeYou’re scared and I know it, so I’ll wait till you’re ready.
But if that was so, what was it about me that would make Nick wait?
I spent the rest of the day in my room reading and writing a short story I’d begun working on a long time before. I liked writing as much as I did reading, and one of my dreams was being a great writer in the future. Sometimes I imagined myself being known all over the world, selling millions of copies, and traveling to promote my books and tell stories people would remember forever.
My mother had never done anything with her life because she had gotten pregnant with me when she was sixteen. My father had been only nineteen then, and he hadn’t had any education. His one shot had been racing in NASCAR. Mom still remembered how hard it had been to raise me when she was just a girl herself, and she wanted to give me all the things she had wanted when I was her age, a good college. Those had always been her dreams, and she was going to make them come true. To please her, I’d always tried to get good grades, had played on the hockey team, and had written from the time I was a girl. A part of me always wanted to make her proud.
As I got lost in thought, looking out the huge window in my room, someone knocked at my door and came in. My mother was there with a bag with the St. Marie logo. I knew whatever was in there would ruin what was left of my day.
“Your uniform arrived. Try it on, and then go downstairs so Prett can make any adjustments to it you need. Also, we’re going to give Nick his cake in a little bit. They don’t blow out candles or anything the way you and I do on our birthdays, but I think that’s terrible, and I’m going to do whatever I can to change their habits.”
“Mom, I don’t think Nick’s going to be into it,” I said, trying to imagine him sitting at a table making wishes.
“Whatever,” she said, closing the door behind her.
I got up and took out my uniform. It was as horrible as I’d imagined. The skirt was pleated green plaid with some kind of clip on the side to close it. It hung down below my knees. The shirt was white and baggy, and to my horror, there was even a green-and-red tie that matched the gray, red, and green sweater. The socks were green, too, and reached my knees. When I put them all on and looked in the mirror, I made the nastiest frown in history. I took everything off but the skirt and shirt—the two things Prett could fix—and went downstairs.
On the landing, I found Nick with his phone pressed to his ears. When he saw me, his eyes bulged, and a smile crossed his face. I scowled at him, resting my fists on my waist.
“Sorry, I gotta go. I need to make fun of someone,” he said, chuckling and putting his phone in his pocket.
“You think you’re funny?” I asked, dying from shame.
“This must be the best birthday present you could have ever given me, Freckles,” he said, laughing at my expense.
“Yeah? How about I give you this, too?” I said, flipping him off and moving past him to the living room, where my mother and the maid were waiting on me.
“If you come to dinner with me tonight, I promise I won’t send around the photos I just took of you,” he said. I turned back, furious. He was taking the jokes too far.
“I’m having dinner with Mario tonight, so no thanks,” I replied, knowing it would make him mad.
In the living room, there was a footstool ready for me to stand on so Prett could take my measurements. As I got up on it, Nick flopped down on the sofa, observing me with a cold and pensive look.
“Lift your arms up, Noah,” my mother said, helping Prett with the pins. I tried to ignore Nicholas’s presence, but it was hard, especially when I remembered that kiss we’d shared in the pool and everything else that had come along with it. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to resist him, but one thing was for sure: I wasn’t going to let him just use me. That’s why I was going out with Mario that night. I wanted to have fun during what was left of the summer, enjoy the company of different guys, not be tied down by anyone, and forget that asshole Dan.
“Ow!” I said when a pin pricked my thigh. Stupid Nick started laughing on the sofa.
“Be still, okay?” my mother said. There wasn’t much left to do. They’d taken in the skirt above my knees, and after their alterations, the shirt would look almost feminine.
Five minutes later, I was ready to take the clothes off and give them to Prett so she could work on them.
Nick stood, about to follow me upstairs, but my mother took us both by the arm and pulled us toward the kitchen.
“Today’s your birthday, Nick, so you’re going to blow out candles just like Noah and I do and everyone else does,” she said with a smile.
