Page 10 of Tell Me Softly
“Exactly. I said I was going by myself.” I tried to make my anger evident. My mother scowled at me, and it was chilling. Then a frozen smile crossed her lips.
“Well, now you’re not,” she said threateningly. I tried not to let her see my feelings. I hated her sticking her nose in absolutely every bit of my business, up to and including my relationship with my boyfriend.
“Shall we go?” Danny asked, heading out the door when I nodded. But before I could make it through the door, my mother pulled me aside.
“Listen to me. Stay away from the Di Bianco brothers,” she said, squeezing my arm. “Two people have already told me they saw you with them. Have you lost your mind?”
I jerked away.
“They said what they had to say, Mom. Now, if you don’t mind, I have people waiting on me.”
I didn’t want to start a scene with Danny waiting for me bythe car. This was the worst time for him to be there. I was going to have to keep an eye on him to make sure he got home safe. Danny wasn’t chill; sometimes it seemed like he drank more than he ate.
On the way to the school, Danny tried to talk, but I wasn’t up for it. The confrontation with my mother had put me in a bad mood.
When we arrived, he put his hand on my thigh and turned toward me.
“You look great tonight,” he said a second time. I knew what he was after, and I wasn’t going to give it to him. It wasn’t just that I didn’t want to; it was that doing it even once had been a mistake. Danny and I should have been friends. I didn’t want a relationship, and I didn’t want to owe anyone anything. I hardly knew how to love myself. How was I supposed to love someone else?
There was something wrong with me, and I didn’t want to drag him down.
“Ever since you left for vacation, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. There’s so many things I want to do to you, Kami…” His lips were on my neck now, and I closed my eyes as his hand crept upward. I reached down and stopped it, pulling back to look him in the eyes.
“Danny, what we did over the summer…that was a mistake.” I tried to sound as serious as I could.
He blinked, confused, then opened his mouth.
“Babe, it’s always bad for girls the first time, but that changes. We just need time. Practice.” He tried to kiss me again.
“I don’t want to do it again, Danny. I wasn’t ready then, and I’m still not.”
Danny pulled back.
“You’re nearly eighteen.”
“It’s got nothing to do with my age.”
“I waited two years for you, Kamila.” His tone changed as helet himself fall back into his seat. “Do you know how hard that is for a guy?”
For a guy? What the hell did being a guy have to do with it? I wasn’t going to say I was sorry for not doing it with him the whole time we were going out. It’s not like I was a prude––we’d done everything but, and in the end, I had given him my virginity for the simple reason that he wouldn’t shut up about it. That was my mistake.
“Danny, you and I want different things. I need to be alone. I’m sorry, but I want to focus on my grades, on my college applications…”
“Are you breaking up with me?” he asked, confused.
“I’m sorry, but…”
“Are you fucking breaking up with me?”
I slid my hands under my thighs and counted to three in my head before answering.
“Yes.”
Danny glared at me, then looked straight ahead.
“This must be a fucking joke…” As he kept speaking, his voice rose. “This summer you blew me off constantly. I wrote you every fucking night, and you’d maybe reply with a one-liner, but usually nothing, and you’d be likeoh, I can’t get service where I’m at, and the whole time you were getting ready to dump me?”
Fuck.
