Page 9 of Tell Me Softly
“What the hell are you doing here, then?”
Thiago looked over at his porch, and I followed suit. We both saw Taylor observing us.
“We’re here because this is our home, and we’re not going to stay away just because of you and your family.”
“You act like I had something to do with it,” I said. I pressed my back against the door, but Thiago leaned in uncomfortably close.
“Keep your mouth shut,” he growled.
It’s not that I didn’t feel guilty––guilt was eating away at me just then––but I was angry enough to keep it hidden. I’d harbored that feeling for eight years, and by now, I was used to not thinking about it.
“Look,” I said. “I was ten years old. And anyway, my father had a right to know.” Both things were true, but I still wish I’d listened to Thiago. If I had, maybe no one would have found out, our lives wouldn’t have changed, we’d have been friends, and they’d never have moved.
But the ache in my chest made me stop thinking about it. And then Thiago struck the doorframe right by my head.
“You were an idiot. You ruined my life, and here you are living a fairytale!” he yelled. That resentment—that hatred in his face—had been seething for years. But we both knew he was wrong.
I needed a few seconds to get over the fright and the shock of someone I cared about so much treating me this way.
“Leave,” I said, knowing I was about to break down crying.
Since they’d moved, I’d never been able to truly commit to a friendship. I was scared of making another mistake, of losing someone again. I didn’t want to give anyone else the power to hurt me ever again. Thiago and Taylor still had that power, I realized. And they were prepared to use it. They hadn’t just come home––they’d come back for revenge, and I was sure they were going to make me pay.
“Leave her alone, Thiago,” another voice said, and I saw a hand come between us and draw him back. Thiago turned around as I stood there, stunned.
Taylor had intervened, and I was grateful for it. I remembered how he always used to mediate between us when Thiago was mean to me when we were kids. But this time, it wasn’t a childhood argument. This time, there were open wounds that were still bleeding, memories that still ached.
“Listen, you stay away from us, and we’ll stay away from you,” Thiago said, turning around to glare at me one last time. “And you should keep a closer eye on your brother.”
He walked down the steps of the front porch and jogged to his house with long strides.
Taylor told me warmly, “We didn’t come here to make your life hell.”
“Tell your brother that,” I answered, unable to shake off the situation.
“Some scars never heal,” he said, lifting his right arm to show me the same scar on his wrist that I had on mine. I knew exactly what he was trying to say.
***
The rest of the week passed without incident. Taylor continued to deliberately ignore me, and I only saw Thiago from a distance when I was working out with the cheerleaders. It was painful, but there was nothing I could do. The things we needed to talk about could cause an explosion if they all came out.
Everyone in town looked up to my family. All eyes were on us, and if people learned that Anne Hamilton had cheated on her husband with the Di Bianco brothers’ father, who knew what might happen. Just as people admired and envied us, there were others who hated us and would love nothing more than to see us fall. I had found notes in my locker insulting me or trying to blackmail me in the past; I’d even gotten a death threat once. They were all just words. People were jealous of me, but they didn’t know how empty my life actually was.
Though the season didn’t start until later in the school year, there was an exhibition basketball game coming up, and we were all supposed to go to a party at Aaron Martin’s house after. He was this girl Marissa’s boyfriend. It was a ritual at this point. We did it every year, and we always had a good time. It was an exciting way to celebrate our first outing as cheerleaders.
I was nervous because Danny had asked me to be his date. We still hadn’t talked about what was going on with us. I kept ducking him, saying I needed to take care of Cam. But tonight I wouldn’t be able to. We were going to have to havetheconversation.
I put on my uniform, a short red-and-white skirt and a sleeveless top in the same school colors. Since it was still late summer, my arms, legs, and stomach were exposed. In the winter, we wore a sweater and tights with the skirt. I combed my hair back and put on a tiara and some glitter makeup, painting anLon my cheek for the Carsville Lions.
I’d gotten into cheerleading because my mother made me, starting when I was in elementary school. I didn’t like it at first,but I ended up getting used to it. Anyway, I couldn’t have quit if I’d wanted to; it was part of my role as perfect daughter. There were times I wanted to burn my pompoms right in front of my mother’s face. I liked to imagine the heart attack it would give her.
When I walked downstairs, ready to go with a bag carrying a change of clothes, I found her standing in the doorway talking to someone: Danny.
“What are you doing here?” I asked when I saw him. Our agreement had been that we’d meet at school.
“Wow, you look great,” he said, coming over and kissing me on the cheek. I wanted to pull away, but I couldn’t with my mother right there.
“I called him. You told me you were going by yourself,” my mother said. I couldn’t stand the sappy look she got on her face when she saw the two of us together.
