Page 100 of Sweet Temptation
“Just listen to me, Lucky, because this isn’t easy for me to admit.” He leans his head back against the tile wall and stares up into the fluorescent light above us. “She was reckless with you because we held on so tight, she didn’t feel safe to be herself. To find herself. So she tried to do that with you—because you let her. She felt safe with you. You were just a kid. You both were. You couldn’t have known she’d get sick back then, the same way none of us knew she’d be sick right now.” When he turns back to me, he looks like he’s seen a fucking ghost. “But she’s my little girl, and you scared me, so you were the easiest target. I wanted to keep her safe. I wanted to believe I could keep her safe. But I couldn’t. None of us could. I’m not proud of myself, but I can’t change it either.”
“I kissed her forehead today when she was sleeping. I didn’t think she had a fever. I should have checked. I should have made her take her temperature...” The fuckingwhat I should have donesare killing me because if I stop focusing on them, I start thinking about thewhat-ifsagain. And thewhat-ifswithout her are worse.
“Take it from a man who tried to rationalize his baby girl’s illness her whole life. There is no making sense of any of it. Don’t do it to yourself. It will drive you insane.”
“Then what do we do?” I ask, needing to do something because just sitting here watching a machine breathe for her isn’t making her better.
“We talk to her. We tell her we love her. We make sure she hears us and that she knows she has to come back to us. We do that until the doctors tell us it’s time to wake her up. We do that because it’s all we can do right now.”
He grabs the back of my head in his hand and pulls me against him. “We fucking pray, Lucky. Because I don’t know how to live in this world without my daughter. Your kids are supposed to bury you. You’re never supposed to outlive them.”
“Honey,” my mom walks into the hospital room early the next morning with a cup of coffee and a bag of bagels. “Have you eaten anything?”
“I’m not hungry,” I murmur as I hold Lexie’s cold hand between both of mine. “Her hand is so cold. She hates to be cold.”
“I can go ask the nurse for another blanket,” she offers and hands me the cup of coffee.
“She already has an extra one on. They brought it earlier.” I kiss Lexie’s knuckles and adjust the engagement ring I slid back on her finger after a nurse gave it to me last night.
“Lucky, have you slept at all? You’re not doing yourself or anyone else any good if you don’t get some sleep,” she pushes as I pull the lid of the coffee back and take a sip, hoping it gives me the kick I need. I haven’t slept. I’ve barely closed my eyes. How can I when I’m sitting here next to Lexie while a machine breathes for her?
Mom presses a kiss to the top of my head. “I’m here if you need me.”
They lower the medication slowly after two days and take her off the vent, but by the end of day three, she still doesn’t wake up.
Dr. Bunton promises this isn’t abnormal, but it feels fucking wrong to me.
Everything about this feels so wrong.
Cooper presses a kiss to Lexie’s forehead late that night and offers Carys his hand, but she sits across from me, scared to leave. And I get it. The fear is real.
Why would we leave when we’re not going to be able to sleep at home either?
She shakes her head, and brushes hair away from Lexie’s face. “You go, Coop. I want to stay here.”
“Carys. We can’t all stay here. The house is ten minutes away,” he pleads with his wife, and I don’t know what’s worse—the fear in his voice or the devastation in hers.
“What if ten minutes is too long?” she asks on a gut-wrenching sob.
“It won’t be. Our girl is too stubborn to give up when she’s finally gotten me to approve of Lucky.” He forces a grin my way. “Did she tell you she came to see me a few weeks ago? It was before you came and told me you were marrying her with or without my permission.”
“No.” A sad smile pulls at my lips. “She didn’t mention a thing.”
“She came in, all pissed off. She was mad that I was rude to you after the game. Said I wasn’t being fair or nice.” He kisses the top of Carys’s head and brushes a hand through Lexie’s hair. “She told me you were a good man and she was in love with you.”
My smile isn’t even sad anymore. “She said that?”
Not like my girl didn’t just agree a few days ago to marry me, but it still feels good to hear.
“I believe her exact words were,But Daddy, I love him. One day, I hope you have a daughter, and some young little shit, who might just turn out to be a good man, shows up on your doorstep and tells you he’s going to marry your daughter. And when you want to kill him, you come get me because that’ll be my granddaughter we’re talking about, and I’ll help you.” Hetugs on Carys’s shoulders, pulling her up. “I know I’m not going to get you to go home, right?”
I shake my head. “No. I’m not leaving.”
“Lucky will be here with her all night, Carys. Let me take you home. Get some sleep and come back in the morning, then you can let Lucky do the same.”
Cooper looks at me over Carys’s head, knowing full well there’s no chance I’m leaving tomorrow. But he gets his way, and Carys agrees. She kisses Lexie’s head, then rounds the bed and runs a hand over my hair.
“She loves you.”
