Page 101 of Sweet Temptation
“She’s my whole world,” I tell her, trying not to let her see the agony I’m in.
“She knows.”
And fuck if those words don’t eviscerate me. Because if there’s one thing I want to do right in this life it’s love this woman. If at the end of my days, I can look back, I want to know I loved her enough for a lifetime.
I rest my head against her chest and listen to the beating of her heart.
The nurses brought blankets and pillows earlier for me to use on the couch, but I can’t touch her from the couch.
“You’re supposed to be in our bed, Lex. Snoring, even though you’ll never admit you do. How do they expect me to sleep on that couch if I can’t touch you from there? If I can’t feel you breathing or the beat of your heart?” I murmur sometime around two in the morning and drop my head to her hand. Careful not to catch any of the wires attached to her IV. “You know, this used to be our time of night. I’d give anything to be standing in the kitchen with you right now.”
“If you want me to make you an omelet, all you have to do is ask,” she rasps, and it’s the best fucking sound I’ve ever heard in my life.
LEXIE
When the love of your life loves you more, instead of loving you too.
—Lexie’s Secret Thoughts
Everything hurts. My body. My heart. Maybe even my soul.
My throat is raw like I shotgunned shards of glass, and my lungs burn like I lit them on fire before I swallowed. It hurts to open my eyes and hurts even more to speak. But I’m breathing and awake and alive...
Alive. Somewhere in the foggy depths of my muddled brain, I remember thinking this is it. This is how I’m going to die. I remember thinking how unfair life could be. How dare the universe give me this man and this love, only to take it away so quickly?
“Baby.” Lucky lifts his head from my chest, and his brilliant baby-blue eyes rimmed in red fill with tears. “You’re awake. You’re really awake. I’m not dreaming this, right?”
I lick my dry, cracked lips and take shallow breaths as the nasal cannula forces oxygen into my nose, and the room comes into clearer focus. “If this was your fantasy, I’d be wearing your football jersey and nothing else.”
I want to laugh, but my entire body hurts to the point I can barely pinpoint what aches and why.
“I’m so sorry, Lex. I should have realized you were sick. I should have made you stay home. I should have?—”
“Lucky,” I force past my dry lips. “Stop. It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault.” I run my fingers through his hair, needing to touch him. Needing to be touched, and as if knowing just that, he grasps my hand in his and presses his lips to my palm.
“I love you, Lexie.” His voice shakes as his other hand gently holds my face. “I know you want me to make peace with losing you one day, but I never will. I’ll never let you go without a fight because this is hell. The idea of a life without you in it is hell.”
I’m finally able to pinpoint what hurts most.
It’s my heart.
It aches for him.
For the fear and pain he’s going through.
What I know won’t ever stop.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper as tears fall from my eyes. “I don’t want to lose you either, Lucky. I just got you. I got to finally feel what it means to be loved by you. And you, Lucky Beneventi, are everything I ever needed but was too scared to want for all those years. You. Are. Everything. And the pain you feel right now is why I didn’t want to let you in. I can’t save myself, but I wanted to save you.”
“You did save me, Lexie. You saved me from a boring life. One without you and all your sass and sarcasm and omelets and crazy friends. You saved me from a life without you and the way you love and the way you live. You gave me a reason to be a better man. A reason to believe in myself. Because if you believe I’m worthy, nothing else in this world will ever matter to me.” He brushes his lips gently over mine as tears stream down my face. “Just you. Just this.” He kisses me again, and I smile against his lips. “Just us.”
I look down at my hand and see a beautiful diamond sparkling in the dark room and memories of being in his brother’s office bombard me. “You asked me to marry you.”
Lucky smiles against my lips. “And you said yes.”
“Let’s fly to Vegas and do it tomorrow,” I try to laugh, but it comes out like a half breath mixed with a wheeze.
“Let’s get you good enough to leave the hospital first, then I’ll take you wherever you want.” He lays his head back on my chest, right over my heart. “I may even be able to get your dad’s blessing too.”
