Page 54 of Sweet Temptation
And that’s when Brea stops me, her face ghostly white. “Where was Linc?”
“I don’t know. I figured he was with you.”
She straightens and pushes away whatever she’s thinking. “What did he say?”
“Brea . . .”
“Nope. My meltdown can be later. Yours is today. One at a time. Now, what happened when Linc got home?” Some best friends come in and out of your life like seasons. I never had a huge group of friends. Most kids were scared of me. They didn’t understand why I spent so much time in the hospital. But Brea, Saylor, Aurora, even my cousin Dillan, and Elodie, when she’s in town... they’re special. Especially Brea.
I choose to listen to her advice and finish the story.
Tomorrow, we can spend hours making homemade pasta.
That’s how she deals with stress.
Who knows? Maybe we’ll poison both my roommates by the end of the week.
Right now, that doesn’t seem like the worst thought.
And when I’m done filling her in, I’m pretty sure she agrees with me.
I grab a walnut chocolate chunk cookie and break it in half, stuffing half in my face, and wait for her to say something. Anything. And when she doesn’t, I get scared. I don’t think I was wrong, but maybe... I don’t know. “Say something.”
“I can’t, Lex. I think I’m too stuck on the fact that you don’t want anyone to love you because you think you’re going to leave them.” Her eyes fill with tears that match mine.
“It’s true, Brea.” Morbidity is a bitch.
“Do you not realize you are already surrounded by people who love you and refuse to accept that anything is ever going to happen to you? That Saylor and Aurora and Dillan and me, we love you as much as any man ever will? And you let us. Why would you want to deprive yourself of that kind of love from a husband or kids?”
I never thought of it like that, but it doesn’t change anything.
“Because you’ll have husbands and families to help you. When I’m not here, you’ll go on. But I’d be leaving someone I love to live alone. I just don’t want that, and I’m sorry, but you’re not going to change my mind.”
She looks at me with pity in her eyes, and it hurts so much worse than words ever will. “I love you, Lexie. I love you, and I think your thought process is flawed. But I also think my cousin is a dick for not taking your feelings into consideration before he outed you to your stupid fucking baby of a brother. So there’s that.”
“What do I do now?” I look around at the mess I’ve made of the kitchen and cringe.
“Well, we stop baking and maybe do a few dishes.” She smiles.
“And then?” I ask.
She grabs a lemon ricotta cookie and moans. “Damn, that’s good.”
“Brea . . .”
“Right. First, we do some dishes.
“And then?” I ask, scared of the answer.
“One step at a time, Lex.”
“One day at a time.” I nod and take her hand in mine. “Just breathe.”
Lucky
The day after a game is always a light day. It’s treatment for any injuries, reviewing game tape, and meeting with your position coach. Light physiotherapy and maybe a light workout. And my head is fucked for it all.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything to Linc. But did she really think we were going to be able to hide what was going on?”Ryker looks at me from across the table, a forkful of grilled chicken halfway to his mouth. And without saying or signing a fucking word, he’s telling me I’m an asshole.
