Page 82 of Sweet Temptation
She’s a rock star. A fucking wonder woman, and I never realized it until she let me. She never talked about her physiotherapy appointments. The ones she goes to after work. But the address is saved in my phone so Life360 can tell me when she’s there. I’ve met her doctor. She let me go with her when they changed her medication a week and a half ago. I know how to set up her nebulizer and that she hates using her compression vest. Sheseriouslyhates using it in front of me. But I’m slowly pushing her out of her comfort zone and forcing her to widen it to include me because I fucking love this woman.
I love all of her. CF doesn’t change that.
Because Lexie is more than this disease she’ll live with and will eventually die with.
She’s everything.
She’s quickly become the sun my entire fucking world orbits around, and if that means I only have twenty years to feel her warmth shine on me, then so be it. I’d rather live every day warm beside her, for as long or short a time as I’m given with her, than a lifetime of coldness without her.
“Lucky,” she murmurs groggily before she coughs. “You won.”
“Yeah, baby.” I wrap my arms around her and drag her back against my chest, breathing with her. “Hey, Lex?”
She wraps her arms around me and snuggles into me. “Yeah, Lucky?”
“Do you think the villain ever gets the princess in the end?” I whisper the question into the darkness, hoping it hides the fear in my voice. “Like, can he get a happily ever after?”
She turns her head and opens her eyes to stare into mine. “I think all any of us are promised is a happy for now, Lucky. We don’t know how long that is, and I’m trying to learn to be all right with that. But if the princess is smart, she’ll love the villain in this life and the next because he’s the one who will fight hardest for her.”
“I love you, Lexie. I’ll fight forever for you.” I press my lips to the top of her head and hold her so damn tight, she can’t move—not wanting her to see my face as I bury it in her hair. Needing to hide the sadness there tonight.
“I know, Lucky. I’ve always known. Thanks for waiting for me to figure out how to let myself be loved by you and to love you back. I never saw you coming, and now, I can’t imagine my life without you.” She closes her eyes. “I’m sorry you’ll have to live yours without me.”
“Marry me, Lex,” I whisper into her ear and wait long minutes for her to respond, but she doesn’t. Her breathing evens out, and I realize she’s fallen back asleep.
Guess I better make it more memorable next time.
On a normal week, Tuesday is our off day, but a normal week gives us six and sometimes seven days between games. This week, the league fucked us up the ass with no lube and had us flying across the fucking country to Seattle for a Sunday game, then turning around Wednesday night for a Denver game on Thursday. Coach gave us Monday off instead. And I’ll fucking take it because Sweet Temptations is closed on Mondays. And that means I can sleep in with Lexie for as long as she wants. But when I roll over at noon and my girl still isn’t up, I get nervous.
“Lex.” I roll her over, and she’s burning up. Fuck. “Lex, wake up.”
Panic builds as she opens her eyes. “Ugh, I feel terrible.”
“You’ve got a fever, baby. Who should I call? Do you need to go to the hospital?” I’m up and out of bed and looking for my sweats before she can even answer. “I’ll grab your clothes.”
“I don’t need to go to the hospital, Lucky. Just let me take my meds and do a treatment, and I’ll call my doctor,” she tells me calmly, like her body isn’t on fire. “I’m okay, Lucky.”
I sit helplessly while she goes through her morning routine. The one I’ve memorized step-by-step, because knowing what to expect is one of the few ways I feel like I can have any control over this. Blind acceptance is a cold bitch, and it’s not my style.
I hand her the phone with her doctor’s number already pulled up as soon as she’s done with her treatment, and Lexie lifts a brow, looking less than impressed. “You don’t have to take care of me, Lucky. I’ve been doing this my whole life. I can handle it.”
As if that makes my need to protect her any less.
“Call the doctor, Lex. Make them see you today.” I cross my arms over my chest and stand in front of her, waiting. “I’m driving.”
“I’m not hating bossy Beneventi,” she teases and coughs weakly, which might be more disturbing than her thick coughs. This one sounds like it hurts. “Bossy kind of works for you. It’s hot.”
“Tell me that again when you feel good enough for me to tie you to the bed and eat that pretty pussy raw, and we’ll see how hot bossy can be, baby. Now call.”
She rolls her eyes and rubs her chest as she speaks to the nurse practitioner who squeezes her in for an appointment as soon as we can get there.Overreacting, my ass.
Two hours, one stop at the pharmacy for three new medications, and a cup of tea later, and Lexie is tucked on the couch, sleeping through her second episode ofOnly Murders in the Building, while I call Mom and have her walk me through making her homemade chicken soup.
Okay, in all honesty, five minutes into the call, she offers to drop some off at the house, and I accept because I’m a little worried if I try to do this, I’m going to make Lexie feel worse, not better. What I don’t expect is my mom to show up with all the ingredients. She takes over our kitchen without asking, and I’ve never been more grateful.
“Have you called Carys?” Mom asks, once the soup is simmering, and Lexie naps on the couch.
“No. She’s a grown woman, Ma. If she wants to call her mom, she will. It’s not any different from one of us getting the flu. We wouldn’t run to you.” Even as I say the words, I know they’re a lie, but I still stand behind them.
