Page 76 of The Accidental Nanny
“Mum,” I shout as I run into the house. “Mum?” I find her in the garden, pruning the roses.
“Yes, why are you shouting?” she asks, standing up and looking at me.
“He couldn’t have a baby, that’s why he broke up with me.” I look at her, tears filling my eyes.
“What?” she gasps. Mum rubs the back of her gloved hand over her brow, leaving a slight, brown smudge behind.
Wiping at my eyes furiously, I say, “Fern found out today and told me.”
“Fern found out?” my mother says. "How did Fern find out any of this?"
“Fern works for Alex.”
“Fern works for Alex?”
Jesus, what did my mother not understand? I came here for advice, not an echo.
“Yes, she’s been working for him. Alex took the children in today and Eden told her why he broke up with me. It’s because I said in the future, I wanted a baby with him, and he had a vasectomy. He didn’t want me to choose. He didn’t ask me.” My chin is dripping with tears.
“I see. Let’s make a pot of tea.” My mother’s eyes grow steady, and I feel her take charge.
I sit outside, looking around the garden, my fingernails tapping away on my legs. I would chew at them if I hadn’t just had them done.
“How do you feel?” Mum asks, returning with a tray and placing it down.
“Angry, very angry,” I say. "I can't believe he did this." I want to hurl the cup across the garden, but this is Mum’s most expensive tea set.
“Okay. Why?”
“I love him, and he didn’t tell me the truth.” I watch as she pours the tea into the cup, followed by a sugar cube, but I don’t take sugar.
“For the shock,” she says, like she can read my mind. She hands it over, then pours her own drink and takes a sip. I wait for her to tell me what to do. “And if he did? Could you give up the chance to have your own baby, Gemma? Carrying a child, giving birth. Could you give all that up?”
I frown. “Yes, of course I could.” What kind of question was that?
“Are you sure? You say that now, but what about the future? What about in five years’ time? This is a big decision.”
I grimace at the taste of the sugary tea. “We could adopt, try reversing it. Sperm donor?”
“Does Alex even want any more children? He thought he was doing right by you. How much does having a baby meanto you? Does Alex mean more to you than a baby does?” She looks at me, waiting.
I've always known the answer to that question. It is simple. “I was a mum to two beautiful children. They are mine and I love them.”
My mother smiles. "You were a wonderful mum to those two children, but we have to consider the facts now, Gemma. It's over, and you're not their mum. Alex wants to give you a chance at being a mum yourself."
"I want to betheirmum," I say. "He's such an arsehole."
"Most men are, dear," she says as a matter of fact.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Alex
My office door opens. I know what she’s done without her even telling me.
“How was she?”
“She ran off.” Fern starts to return to her desk.
