Page 31 of Directing You
Chapter 14
Hazel
The buzzing soundof Reid’s cell phone jarred me awake. I blinked, rubbing my knuckles against my eyes as they adjusted to the dark room. Through my lace curtains, I could see that the inky sky held the smallest hint of azure and gold as the sun was about to edge over the horizon.
I glanced at my clock—five a.m. Only one more day left with Reid. As I sat up, I hugged my knees into my chest and looked down at him asleep beside me before glancing again at his vibrating phone. Who the hell kept calling him all weekend? And before dawn? It seemed… unusual.
Jealousy reared its ugly head even though I had no claim over Reid. He wasn’t mine. He was like a book from the library—I got to have him. Enjoy him. Hold him close and engulf myself in his world, but at the end of the day, I couldn’t keep him.
With a deep breath, he inhaled, his eyes fluttering open briefly. Had it not been for me sitting up and staring at him, he probably would have gone right back to sleep. Instead, his eyes jolted open and he sat up, startled. “Hazel?” he asked, his voice gruff from the hours of dormancy. “What’s wrong?”
I shook my head. “Nothing. Just… watching you sleep.” I inwardly cringed at how creepy that sounded.
“You’re watching me sleep?”
“Yes,” I answered. “If you get to watch me closely at school—ordering tea and whatnot—then I’m going to watch you sleep.”
His mouth twisted into a smirk. “Sounds fair to me.”
Our eyes locked, and even in the darkness that swallowed the room, I could see the hungry glint within his stare. With everything between us—the intensity, the passion, the kindness—I still couldn’t shake the feeling that he was hiding something from me. “If I’m the other woman, I need to know now,” I blurted out. “I’m never going to be someone’s mistress ever again.”
His brow lifted. “Again?”
“I didn’t know I was the other woman. Not until his wife showed up while we were having dinner and threw wine in our faces. He ran out after her and stuck me with the evil glares of onlookers and a check that maxed out my credit card that month.” I pressed my lips together and twisted my hands in my lap. “I never would have dated him if I’d thought he was married.”
“You are not the other woman. You are theonlywoman,” Reid said, dragging his fingertips gently down the length of my arm. Goosebumps erupted beneath his touch in a long line from my shoulder to my wrist. “And if you didn’t know he was married, then that asshole is the only one in the wrong in that situation.”
“I know that. But it always made me wonder… how many patrons of the Ruby Slipper come in, slip their weddings bands into their pockets, and buy private dances? How many onlookers have wives at home who think they’re working late?”
Reid nodded, but offered no other insights on the topic and his words from Friday night rang in my head.Not sure I’ll ever be engaged again… and if I do, it’d better be a long engagement. I want to know I can trust her.“Your ex-fiancé… she cheated on you?”
With a deep exhale, Reid sat up, pulling me into his arms. “She did.”
“My dad cheated on my mom.” God, why was I admitting so much to a man who was barely telling me two words about himself? Maybe deep down, I thought if I spilled my heart to him, he would open up to me, too. “I was in high school, ditching class with my friends and we drove out to the mall in a neighboring town. I saw him in Victoria Secret with her. Kissing. Buying her lingerie. My dad looked up and saw me through the window. He never turned me in for cutting school. And I never told Mom what I saw.”
“They’re still married?” Reid asked, his fingers stroking my hair from scalp to tip, gently brushing the strands.
I nodded. “I don’t think my mom ever knew… ever found out about his infidelity. I always felt like I should have told her. But I was scared and selfish. I didn’t want life to change.”
Reid sighed and held me tighter. “I bet she knows. We almost always find out… eventually. Even before I knew, I sensed it. I could feel the shift with Fa—my fiancé. There was more distance. She spent more time on her phone texting than she did talking with me at night. She suddenly had new girlfriends that I’d never met that she was ‘hanging out’ with late into the night.”
I hugged him back, swallowing the relieved sigh that he was sharing, too, finally. “I’m sorry.”
His lips grazed the top of my head. “I was so broken when she left me, certain I’d never find that kind of love again. That I wasn’t made for love, or somehow, I’d deserved what she did—like I wasn’t enough for her, so therefore I’d never be enough for anyone.”
“You’re enough for me,” I whispered. The wall of muscle holding me stiffened suddenly. Was that too much? Did I overstep?
“It’s been a long time since I’ve been with a woman other than my ex-fiancé,” he admitted with a deep crack in his voice. He shifted his body, moving so that he was now sitting in front of me. The dark sky was lightening by the second, the navy darkness melting into a Rothko painting of oranges and blues. “Hazel.” My name on his lips was spoken with such intensity, that I sucked in a sharp breath, my heart catching a beat. “Even if we only ever have this weekend together, I need you to know that this…you… mean so much more to me than what’s physical between us. You’ve single-handedly broken down the walls I’ve spent almost two years building since my fiancé cheated on me. And for as long as I live, I will never forget that… or you.”
He paused, his thumb moving in circles across my jaw, and I leaned into his touch, eyes fluttering closed. “Reid—”
Gently, he pushed his finger against my lips, shushing me. “I know,” he said. “I know you can’t be with your professor and I respect that. But please know, that every time I look up at the moon, I’ll think of you.”
He kissed me then, not letting me respond… not even letting me think about what he’d just admitted.Maybe it was better that way, I thought as we fell back in a tangle of lips and arms and legs onto the bed. Because in that moment, if he had let me speak, I would have told him I was falling for him.
I would have told him he was the one library book I was never returning.
