Page 102 of Resisting You
I licked the earl gray flavored frosting off my fingers as I glanced at Noah and Rosa across the lawn. My older (by three minutes) brother looked annoyingly perfect under the string of fairy lights that I personally hung for the event… you’re welcome, big bro. Even if I couldn’t detangle the damn things to save my life.
His hand, adorably, kept finding Rosa’s waist like he couldn’t believe she was real. Like he couldn’t believe she washis. The two of them had survived media firestorms, literal public scandal, and the whole fake-marriage-turns-real circus. And now they were slow dancing on the patio while Birdie, their rescue dog-turned-ring bearer, slept under the table in a bowtie.
It should’ve been heartwarming.
Instead, it made me feel like I was stuck in place while everyone else around me had cracked some secret code.
"You okay?" Ronnie nudged me with her shoulder from where she sat beside me, running her palm in circles over her baby bump.
"Yep," I lied, having discarded my champagne glass to sip bubbly straight from the bottle like the picture of grace I was.
She narrowed her eyes but didn’t push. That’s the nice thing about big families. Eventually, if you wait long enough, someone else will cause a distraction. My bet was on my ten year old niece, Maddie.
“Two weddings in seven days is a lot, huh?” Ronnie said with a glance down at her own wedding rings, twinkling in the dusky light of the evening.
Iwouldask my sister if she was okay sharing her wedding spotlight with Noah, but I knew the answer. Ronnie didn’t care. She was the most chill out of all of us. At least inthatregard she was.
Instead, I shrugged, trying my best to keep it light. “Who doesn’t love love?”
Me. It’s me. Namely because I didn’t know the meaning of the damn word. Okay, yeah, I know what it is to love my family. I’ve seen the love with my mom and dad, even though Dad died when we were really young. I’d watched every single one of my siblings find their partners… with Cam, he even found it twice. How wasthatfreaking fair?
“Hey,” Ronnie said, reaching over to take my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "You don’t have to know what’s next yet," she said softly. "You just have to keep showing up until it finds you."
I wasn’t sure I believed her. But it still helped to hear it.
It had taken me six years to get through my college years because I changed my major like other people changed shoes. I finally settled on marketing, but basically only because it feltgeneric enough to get a job just about anywhere. Now I’m a couple months away from graduating and the whole degree feels like a big, fat waste.
I leaned into Ronnie’s shoulder for half a second, let out a breath, then smiled. “You’re such a liar,” I teased. “But thanks anyway.”
She smacked my arm gently. “I’m not lying! But I get it that you’ll have to see it to believe it… or live it to believe it. And…” she leaned in, pressing her forehead to my temple. “It’s okay to feel both happy for me and Lex and Noah and Rosa… while still feeling a little sad for yourself.”
“Who says I’m sad?” I asked, defensively.
She arched her eyebrow at me and tapped the rim of my discarded champagne flute, glancing at where I gripped the nearly empty bottle in my hand. “Four glasses of champagne, three pieces of cake, and more than two decades of being your sister says so.”
“I promise Iamhappy for them. Andyou.”
“I know you are. And I know you’re also a little sad. Those two truths can exist at once.” Ronnie grunted and pushed to stand up. “Now, I’ve got to pee…again. I swear, this baby is using my bladder as a trampoline.”
She disappeared, waddling inside the house, leaving me sitting alone with a tight chest and a buzz that was quickly turning contemplative. I watched Noah spin Rosa in a slow circle, both of them smiling like the world outside this tent didn't exist, and something in me ached.
I didn’t want to be the sad girl at the happy ending.
So I stood up, leaving the almost empty bottle of champagne on the table, needing air or movement or maybe just a change of scenery. Anything to shake the feeling off.
I made my way toward the bar, thinking I’d just grab a glass of water and regroup. Maybe splash my face in the bathroom.Maybe cry in our old treehouse that our dad built for us when we were first born. You know… something productive.
But as I reached the bar, I caught a glimpse of Rosa’s dad wiping away tears as he hugged Noah.
Not only did Noah find a wife. A partner forever. But he was getting a father figure out of this marriage, too.
Distantly, someone clinked their glass, urging Noah and Rosa to kiss. A new love song started playing.
Nope. Water wasn’t going to cut it. I was going to regret this in the morning, but that was a problem for future Callie.
"Vodka soda," I told the bartender instead, my voice steadier than I felt.
Just as I turned with my vodka soda in hand, someone stepped up beside me at the bar.
