Page 92 of Resisting You
The weight of Apa’s arm dropped around my shoulders and I felt his reassuring hug as he pulled me into him. “And what areyourreasons?”
Emotion clenched in my throat, clogging it like a backing up drain. I blinked, my eyes filling with tears, and looked up into my father’s eyes… so similar to my own. A small smile flicked at his lips and his brows lifted.He knows already.
“Well, somewhere in the middle of pretending, I fell in love with Noah. Maybe I already loved him before any of that happened. We might not have dated before, but we’ve known each other for years.”
He might have already known—or at least suspected—but saying those words aloud to my father was still harder than I thought it would be.
Apa nodded slowly, giving my shoulder a tender squeeze. “If you fell in love with him, then why are you trying to leave?”
My throat clenched and I huffed out a very unhumorous laugh. “You of all people should know why,” I said quietly.
Slowly, Apa unfolded his arms from around me and examined me. “Me of all people,” he murmured, repeating my words. “Enlighten me.”
“Because I’ve seen what this does to people. The press, the speculation, the judgment… it chews people up. Women especially. I watched as you cheated on Mama. Not just once.A lot. And I watched as she turned her head and pretended not to notice just so her precious lifestyle wouldn’t be disrupted. But the media didn’t care that you were cheating. They cared about ifshegained weight because of it. They cared if she was seen in public looking distraught. Or if she was seen stepping out of the house without makeup, God forbid.”
My father winced at my words and I couldn’t help but feel a little bad for throwing his indiscretions in his face. “I didn’t know you knew about that,” he said quietly.
“Well, I did.” The lump in my throat grew two sizes larger. “Did you know Noah asked me out dozens of times before we got married? He asked me out and I said no every time. Because I never wanted to be in that kind of a spotlight again. Eighteen years as a politician’s daughter was enough for one lifetime for me.”
Apa’s brow creased. “You’restilla politician’s daughter, my love.”
“Yes. But after I left California, I managed to separate myself from the press. I laid low. I stayed out of trouble… out of the public eye. Untilthis. And Noah’s career—it matters to him. If staying means ruining that, then I can’t. I won’t.”
Apa leaned back in the chair and exhaled through his nose. “You’re not wrong. Our world can be cruel. But you know what’s worse?” I met his eyes and waited. “Running from something—orsomeone—you love out of fear. That’s lonelier than any headline.”
Tears filled my eyes, but I said nothing.
“For years, I convinced myself I was protecting you by controlling everything. I wanted you to fall in line. Be quiet. Follow the rules. I thought if I kept your name clean, your record perfect, then you'd be safe. But the truth is, I was scared. Scared you’d make the same mistakes I made. Back then, I preferred to see you brokenhearted and invisible than brave and vulnerable.” His voice wavered. “But that was wrong. And I’m really sorry if my ambition… my career… my mistakes…caused you so much pain and trauma. I love you. I would die for you.”
I didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t like him to admit regret. Not like this.
I’d spent my whole life living beneath the weight of his expectations—straight A’s, perfect posture, no headlines, no drama, no margin for error. Even though he, himself, had made so many mistakes. He just rarely got caught in them. For so long, I thought that pressure meant he didn’t trust me. That I wasn’t enough. That his love and acceptance came with conditions.
But in that moment, hearing him say the words out loud—not from behind a podium or a soundbite, but face to face, father to daughter—I realized something else.
He’d been scared too.
And that made him human.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and whispered, “I don’t know why Mama chose to forgive you time and time again. And it’s really none of my business, I guess. But I need you to know, my childhood… it wasn’t all bad,” I said quietly. “You have done, andare doingso much good as a Senator. Your ambition taught me to dream big. To fight hard. You gave me everything I needed to build a life I’m proud of. And I know that. I do. I love you.”
He took my hand slowly, like the weight of the moment had finally settled into his bones. “I love you and your mother more than life itself, even if my actions don’t always seem like I do. I love you both more than my career. More than politics. And if this Noah boy is worth anything, he feels the same about you. Even when politics got in the way. Even when it hurt. And if I could go back and do it all again, I’d choose love sooner. I’d choose your mother every time. And despite everything that’s transpired in our marriage, I know without a doubt, she’d choose me again, too. Ten years ago was the last time I was caught with another woman. I wanted to leave your mother out of shame. I was certain she deserved better than me. She asked me to stay and fight. She asked me to choose her and our marriage, but only if I would do so and stop my wandering eye. So… I did. I know I haven’t earned any right from you to believe me, but I have been faithful since that day. So… learn from my mistakes, Rosa. Don’t be like your old man and run away when things get hard in a relationship. Stay and fight for the people that really matter. It was the best decision I ever made.”
He brought my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles like he used to when I was little. Then, he let go of my hand and walked to the door, giving me one last look over his shoulder.
“You don’t have to choose between love and freedom, Rosa. You just have to choose not to run.”
The door clicked shut behind him.
I sat there for a full minute after the door closed, heart thudding in my chest.
Then I opened the laptop again, stared at the blinking cursor, and powered it off.
I wasn’t going anywhere.
At least… not today.
Chapter 34
