Page 7 of Romanced By the Rat
“Probably not a good idea.”
“If anything, maybe it will make me feel better about myself. You’re here to help me after all, right?”
He scoffs. “Not necessarily.”
“Then why are you talking to me and telling me what I should do with Charlotte?”
Scuffling sounds behind me, and I whip toward the source, but nothing is there. “I don’t know. I have nothing better to do,” he replies.
I sigh. “Can you even show yourself? What are you, like a ghost or something?”
“No. I’m not a ghost.”
“Then what?”
“Fine!” he yells. “I don’t know how seeing me will make you any better at getting the girl, but if that’s your mental barrier, here I come.”
I wait.
Nothing happens.
“Well?”
“I’m right here.”
I whip around the white bathroom. I’m still alone. “Where?”
“Right here!” He speaks up louder, this time making it impossible for my attention not to be drawn to his source. I stare down at my non-slip shoes. A tiny gray rat sits at my feet, staring up at me. I scream, falling backwards. I’m not afraid of rats usually, but even the most stoic man would be caught off guard if a tiny rodent popped out in front of them.
“Ha, ha, very funny!” I yell to the room, regaining my footing and pulling myself into a seated position.
“What’s funny?” There’s no mistaking it this time. The voice came from the rat. But no. Rats don’t talk. At least, last time I checked. I freeze. “Who said that?”
The rat waves his fuzzy, pink-palmed hand. “It’s me.”
I scream again. A talking rat isn’t the craziest thing I've seen. Mothman dined at Ratcliff’s just the other day, but in all my years of living in Ghostlight Falls, I’ve never been snuck up on by a talking rat. It’s unnerving.
“Oh, calm down.” He rolls his eyes. “I could have been a talking alligator. How much harm could I possibly cause you?”
He’s an asshole, but that isn’t new. I clutch my chest, stilling my panic and letting my head clear. “How do people normally react when you reveal you’re a talking rat?”
He picks at his forelimb, looking nervous. “Well, this is my first time. Considering you haven’t tried to stomp on me, I’m thinking it’s going pretty well.”
“Wait, do all rats talk?’
He laughs, surprisingly rich for such a little creature. “No. Well, at least not to me. As far as I know. I’m the only one. That’s probably because I’m not really a rat. I’m a man, same as you. Not exactly the same as you. I was a soldier at Fort Pines. Got tricked into a science experiment and here I am.” He waves his hands at his side as if presenting his form for the first time. There are several points in his explanation that he’s leaving out, as if being turned into a rat is just a regular day in the office, but I have too many questions—the most pressing involving the dark-haired beauty waiting on me in the dining room.
I rub at my temples, charging toward the sink to splash cold water on my face.
The rat talks from behind me, scurrying closer. “I know it’s not my place, but I have nothing better to do. I spend most of my time watching the patrons here at the restaurant. When Charlotte came in…” He turns away from me. “I couldn’t look away. And then I saw she had an attraction to you, one that you reciprocated. You continued to fumble, and I just couldn’t sit by and watch you ruin something that will never happen for me, but could be the greatest thing for you.”
I study him. I’ve never observed a rat before, but his voice, his movements, they all seem so sincere—so desperate for a connection. If what he says is true and he really was a man turned rodent, I’d imagine life would be pretty boring. It’s nottoo hard to imagine that he wants to help because he has nothing better to do. I feel somewhat sorry for him. It’s a nicer feeling than feeling bad for myself. I sigh. “If you want to help me, I’m not going to stop you. I’m obviously not going to remember your advice, though.” An idea pops into my mind and I brighten. “Why don’t you come with me and whisper what I should do?”
The rat smiles. “That could work, but how could I stay hidden?”
I ponder for a moment. I think there are some hats in the closet. You could sit on my head and whisper to me hidden underneath my hat.”
“Sure.” He shrugs.
