Page 14 of Paper and Passion
“Why are you so nervous, pretty girl?” Alex asks, covering my hand with hers.
I sigh. May as well tell them. In a small town like this, they’re bound to find out eventually.
“I haven’t really dated anyone in a long time, and… well, I’ve tried the throuple thing before. It didn’t go well.”
“What happened?” Adrian places his hand over my other hand, so they’re both touching me now. It makes me feel a little braver.
But I still might need some wine in order to get through this. I stop the waiter as he walks past and order a glass of chardonnay.
Once I have it in hand, I take a deep breath and start in on the most devastating—and embarrassing—story of my life. “So, I wasdating this guy, Chad. He works at the fire station. We were really serious, and I thought we were happy. But then, he told me he had feelings for my best friend, Samantha. The idea of a polyamorous relationship intrigued me. I wasn’t against it as a concept, and there were things I liked about the idea. Being able to get different things from different people, no one person having to be everything to you, the sense of communal care for each other and any children you might eventually have. I liked that. Samantha was a teacher at the elementary school, and I liked how good she was with kids.”
Adrian and Alex share a look I can’t interpret.
“Anyway, I always thought she was gorgeous, but hadn’t really thought of herthatway before. But once he told me he was interested in her, I saw her differently. I was attracted to her.”
Alex’s hand tightens on mine at the same time as Adrian’s, and it almost makes me smile.
I gulp down a large swallow of wine. This is the part that gets hard to tell. Alex and Adrian don’t say anything, they just wait patiently.
“So, I told Chad I was willing to try. The three of us hooked up one night, and it washorrible. I felt like a third wheel the whole time. At first, watching was kind of hot, but then it was like they both totally forgot about me.”
Alex wraps her arms around my shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not done.” I take another fortifying sip. “Chad told me that it wasmyfault. If I wanted to be involved, I had to participate. Jump in and join them. So we tried again. But that time was even worse. Samantha kept subtly blocking me out. She liked when I did things like suck on her nipples, but she showed no interest in me at all.”
“I hate thinking of your mouth on someone else’s nipples,” Alex grumbles. “Skip that, please.”
Adrian gives her an amused smile that’s so full of love it makes my heart hurt.
“So I talked to Chad again and told him it wasn’t going to work. He agreed we’d stop seeing her, told me he only wanted me, and proposed. I said yes, and we started planning a wedding. Then, on our wedding day, I caught him with Samantha in the back of the sanctuary. I ran out so fast, I tripped over my dress and both my breasts popped out right as I reached the already full sanctuary. I kept trying to pullthe dress up, but it was caught on my heels and wouldn’t budge, so I just ran down the aisle sobbing. For most of the last year, I was called Boob Bride by half the people in town.”
“Oh, sweet, pretty girl,” Alex coos, stroking my hair. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
Adrian is quiet for a minute. His knuckles are white as he clenches around his water glass. It breaks, shattering in his grip. I jump with a yelp. Alex laughs.
“He’s fine,” she says.
He turns his palms over to show me. The cuts are deep, but they heal within seconds as I watch. He carefully brushes the glass into his napkin and sets it to the side of the table.
“Where did you say Chad works?” Adrian’s voice is deceptively calm, but there’s no mistaking the way his veins pop with tension.
“Oh, um, don’t hurt him. I’m fine. And apparently he and Samantha were really in love, because they got married that same day. Stole my wedding right out from under me.” I try to laugh it off, but it still stings. Not because I have feelings for him—or either of them—but rejection always hurts.
“We would never make you feel that way.” Alex pats my hand, then threads her fingersbetween mine. “Did you feel left out this afternoon?”
“No. But did you? I mean, you did most of the work and didn’t even get to… well, you know.”
Her smile is so beautiful. White teeth, full pink lips, a little more lifted on the left. It takes my breath away.
“As I told Adrian earlier, love isn’t transactional.” She looks down at our fingers. “But someone you’re with should be invested in your pleasure, too. It pleased me to go down on you. I never felt like you weren’t invested in what was happening or that you didn’t want me, so I never felt like you did with your ex.”
The food arrives, and for a time, we’re all quiet as we eat. The silence gives me space to think about what Alex said, but more than that, it gives me time to study the two of them. There’s no awkwardness between them, only sweet looks and gentle touches. Adrian holds up his fork for Alex to try his fish. Alex gives him her megawatt smile. They don’t seem like they’re discontent and trying to fix something. They seem completely and totally smitten with each other.
Maybe this could work.
“I’d like to try,” I whisper.
They both immediately look up from their food.
