There’s that brick wall I run up against when I think too hard about the name. The same one I run into when I think too hard about my past. A headache starts to form.
“Should it mean something to me?”
He brushes a piece of hair out of my face. It’s nothing he’s done before, but feels like something he’s done forever.
“It’s probably best if we have this conversation in front of witnesses.” He rolls back on his heels and stands up, reaching out a hand for me. I grab it, and he yanks me up close to his body. He pulls a couple of pieces of gravel out of my hair. “You’re such a mess,” he says with a smile, kissing my nose. I’m so thrown off by his witness comment, I don’t respond to him, just let him lead me back to town. It feels a little wrong to let the visitor do my job of navigating, but I’d follow Miguel anywhere.
Chapter ten
Wonder Bus Stop
Miguel
We take a seat at the bus stop out in front of the Visitors’ Bureau. I know I can count on Mabel to pop out here several times during this conversation. It seems like Carter has more control than Mappy, and I get the sense he doesn’t want people to know about him. I’m hoping that having this discussion in public will prevent him from shifting. I really don’t need another near-death experience.
I keep moving, not able to find a comfortable position. Finally, Mappy puts his hand on my leg.
“You’re kind of freaking me out. Whatever it is, please tell me, because there’s no way it’s as bad as all the things I’m imagining right now.”
I don’t know about that. I put my arm behind him on the bench, my hand accidentally stroking his wing, and he shudders. For a moment, I tense, afraid he’s going to shift, but he relaxes further into me with a small smile. Fuck. How am I going to be with this guy if I’m constantly afraid he’s going to shift into a monster? Is he worth it? Either way, he deserves to know the truth about himself.
“So, Carter.” He nods, squeezing my leg. He bites his lip, trying and failing to hide his nervousness. How is this the same guy who drugged me and tried to kill me? It’s not. They’re not the same. Except they are? “Um, Carter is you?”
Mappy blinks a couple of times. “I’m not sure I understand.”
“You know those blackouts you’ve been having?” He nods. “Has there beenany sort of pattern to them? Anything you’ve noticed?”
“Maybe? Usually, it happens at night on Saturdays and Sundays. Maybe Tuesdays or Wednesdays. I guess the time we met was a Friday? I think once, it was a Thursday afternoon. Oh! And I almost forgot! Sometimes it happens on Mondays.”
“Mappy, that’s not a pattern. That’s just naming every day of the week out of order.” He nods. “Did you have one before ending up at the train tracks?” He leans back, thinking.
“Yeah. I guess so. We were at the house, and then we were at the train tracks. I don’t know how you ended up there. I wouldn’t do that to you. I swear.”
“I know, Mappy. It was Carter.”
“You said Carter is me.” I nod. “But I’d never do something like that. You could’ve died!” He yells the last sentence, drawing the attention of a couple of pedestrians. The whole point is to have an audience, I have to remind myself.
How do I explain something I don’t fully understand? “I saw you shift into him. But it wasn’t you anymore. I know that. He’s not like you at all.”
“I’m not a shifter, Miguel. I’m just a regular map-man. What you see is what you get.” His voice is strained, and it’s obvious this whole conversation is causing him a lot of stress.
I push a piece of hair behind his ear, and he leans into the touch. This is probably a terrible idea, but I don’t know how else to show him. I step inside the Visitors’ Bureau to speak with Mabel for a moment before returning to Mappy.
“I told Mabel that if I don’t check in with her every thirty minutes, she’s sending someone to your house to make sure I’m okay.”
“Why wouldn’t you be okay? I’d never hurt you. I swear it wasn’t me who tied you to the tracks. I know it was me who was there when you woke up, but we can figure out who did it. I’d never do somethinglike that.”
I kiss his forehead. “I know. I’m not worried about you, Mappy. I’m worriedforyou.” I set a recurring timer on my phone for thirty minutes and we begin the walk to Mappy’s. There aren't many ways it could go worse than last time.
Mappy looks like he’s in pain by the time we reach his house. He can’t find his keys, so he grabs a spare from under a plant and lets us in.
“So, this is my place.” He gestures to his house, as if prepared to give the grand tour, but that’s not why we’re here, and I probably don’t have long before Carter shows up. In fact, I’m surprised he’s not already here.
I walk straight over to the bookshelf and begin randomly pulling books. I should’ve paid more attention when Carter had me, but how was I supposed to know he was opening a secret doorway?
“Those are mostly for decoration.” Mappy chuckles a little, then winces as he takes a step closer to the bookcase.
“I’m not sure which one it is,” I say, pulling out another book and placing it back.
