Page 50 of Don't Bet On It
I pursed my lips. “Despite your anger issues, you seem to be pretty good at the therapy stuff.”
She rolled her eyes. My shrink says my biggest issue is that I’m a people pleaser and I can’t handle it when I disappoint my father. The thing is, I’ve been disappointing my father for my entire life. I should’ve come to terms with it by now.”
“And why is your father disappointed? Is it because you’re moonlighting as a dealer at a rival’s casino?”
“Oh, he doesn’t know about that.” I shook my head. “If he knew, he would blow a gasket.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m expected to take over the Hawthorne.”
“And you don’t want to?”
“Not even a little. What’s funny to me is that he takes digs. About my anxiety, I mean. He thinks that I’m weak because I melt down under pressure, and yet he still wants me to take over the Hawthorne, which would cause me to crumble on the first day.”
“You’re not weak.”
“I’m not strong.”
“There are different types of strength. I don’t think you’re as bad as you make yourself out to be.”
I leaned back, a small smile playing at the corners of my lips. “So … you think I’m playing at being a victim, huh?”
That made her laugh. “No, I just think you don’t see yourself the way you should. I’m not talking about the genital warts or anything. I’m talking about who you are at your core.”
“And who am I at my core?”
“A guy who is doing what he feels he needs to do to make himself happy. At least you have a plan. I have no idea how my life is going to turn out. You have options. You’re working at the Stone because you have a goal for your life.”
I was suddenly suspicious. “What did Zach tell you?”
She arched an eyebrow. “He didn’t tell me anything.” Suspicion flooded her eyes as she leaned forward. “Why? What is there to tell?”
“Who said there was anything to tell?” I was suddenly the picture of innocence. “I didn’t say there was something to tell.”
“You’re hiding something.” Tallulah was practically gleeful. “Wait. Let me guess.” She held up her hand. “Your true desire is to be a headliner on the chorus line at one of the hotels.”
I burst out laughing. “Yes, because that would help my anxiety.”
“Do you want to be a stripper? I know a few guys over at Hunk Mansion. If you need an in, I’m your girl.”
I laughed even harder. “I’m pretty sure I’m not built for that.”
Her eyes roamed up and down my arms. “I don’t know. You have one of those bodies—it’s a little lanky but defined—that drives women wild.”
“Is that the type you go for? The lanky type, I mean.”
“Wouldn’t you like to know.”
Actually, I did want to know. In that moment, that was the thing I wanted to know most. What was her type? Was it me? I hadn’t thought about her much in high school. I’d had other things on my mind. I’d always found her beautiful, though. She’d actually grown into her looks in a way that was almost fantastical.
You’re not in the market for a girlfriend, my inner voice reminded me. I had plans, and they didn’t include this. Heck, I didn’t know if she was in the market for a boyfriend. Maybe she was up for a fling. I could handle a fling.
You can’t only have a fling with her. If you give in, then you’ll become lost. You don’t want to become lost.
Was that my issue? Did something inside of me recognize that she might be my undoing? I did have a very specific plan. I had no intention of letting that plan go. That meant I couldn’t give in to the flirtation.
That didn’t mean we couldn’t be friends, though.
