Page 136 of Misrule
Knox raised a hand.
“I think you must,” Johnnie went on. “You’re speaking lies. I don’t consider myself above Christopher.”
How had things spiraled so far out of control so quickly?
“We’re friends, Johnnie,” Knox reminded him.
“Then, as your friend, I’ll give you this warning. Back the fuck off. I’m on edge, and that’s not a very good place for me to be. My marriage is over,” he said for the third time.
It hit Knox that Johnnie repeatedly expressed those words because he was trying to convince himself as much as anyone else.
“I don’t need you to spout your bullshit about believing I think I’m better than Christopher. Or that I still love Megan.”
Not responding, Knox decided it was in his best interest to steer the conversation back to Emily. He wouldn’t search for a way to ease into the topic. With Johnnie out of patience, Knox was out of time.
“Give Emily a call,” he pressed. “You and Kendall are separated, so maybe, you need another woman to fill your bed.”
“Kendall and I are separated but not divorced.”
“True, but seeing someone else might help you to decide, once and for all, if youdowant to divorce Kendall.”
“What if Kendall finds out? What then? Knowing Kendall, she’ll find another man to fuck just to spite me.”
Johnnie flicked the ashes off his forgotten cigarette onto the floor. But Knox stayed silent, since Johnnie still held the K-Bar.
“If Kendall sleeps with another motherfucker while we’re still married, I’ll cut his cock off and watch him bleed to death.” He squeezed the cigarette out. “On that principle, I refuse to sleep with another woman.”
“That’s commendable. So don’t sleep with Emily. Just spend the time getting to know her.”
“Don’t you think my life is complicated enough? How would Kendall feel if I brought this woman around?”
“She doesn’t have to know,” Knox pressed. He deserved a bonus for the pressure he was putting on Johnnie. “Kendall’s barred from the club and the grounds. If you and Emily hit it off, and you ended up in a relationship…” His voice trailed off and he shrugged. “You deserve happiness.”
“Yes. As do my children.” He glanced at the door, then got to his feet. “Maybe, I’ll send her a text and invite her for a drink at the club.”
Knox stood as well. “Do that,” he said, clapping him on the back.
Shoving his knife into a special pocket he had made into his cuts, Johnnie seemed as if he would talk again. Instead, he took his leave without another word.
Sinking down into his seat, Knox released his breath. He hadn’t known he’d been holding it until that moment. That was to be expected with the intensity of the meeting that had just taken place.
Heading to his office, Knox grabbed his phone and went to the keypad, preparing to call Roxanne as he normally did during the course of the day. He froze.
He couldn’t call her because she no longer wanted to talk to him.
Instead of calling her, he went to the stored photos and pulled up her pictures. He touched the screen, wishing he’d feel her skin beneath his fingertips, praying he’d hear the sound of her voice, but knowing he wouldn’t. Until she forgave him.
He was determined to make that happen.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Leaning against the headboard on the bed in his old room at the clubhouse, Johnnie tipped his bottle of whisky back and drank. Thoughts of Kendall ran through his head. She had such luxuriant red hair and a gorgeous face, with brown eyes that always held a touch of sadness. No matter what he said to her or did for her, she’d never escaped that lost little girl buried inside of her.
Two nights ago, at the family dinner, she’d tipped him over the edge. He hadn’t been able to control her. As usual. She’d fucked with CJ one time too many. It hadn’t been Christopher’s retribution Kendall had to face but Megan’s. Johnnie had never seen her more furious. He was so used to defending Kendall, he’d automatically jumped into his role as her protector. For his efforts, Megan had broken his goddamn nose.
Johnnie had followed Kendall home, their kids in his car, to make sure she got home safe. She’d come to his Navigator, face bloodied, bruised, and streaked with tears, so he’d gotten out, left his sleeping children, and escorted her inside. He couldn’t remember if they’d closed the entrance door to Kendall’s house or not. He’d just been absorbed withher. Her theatrics. Her drama. Her self-pity.
Glowering at the ceiling, Johnnie drank more whisky, recalling Knox questioning Johnnie’s real feelings for Kendall. It was unfortunate, but Johnnie had loved Kendall with everything in him. He didn’t know what he felt for her anymore. Love? Hate? Pity?
