Page 158 of Misrule
“Him up,” CJ said. “Him groaned. I been sitting outside his door just like you told me, ‘Law.”
Outlaw walked into Knox’s line of vision and smirked.
“Outlaw, please—” Knox began feebly.
“Boy, Uncle Motherfucker ain’t wake e-fuckin-nuff. Come jump on his fuckin’ stomach like you do to wake my ass up.”
“’Kay, ‘Law,” CJ said without hesitation.
“Please,” Knox mumbled.
Neither of them heard. Or they pretended not to hear. CJ climbed onto Knox’s bed then bounced onto Knox’s stomach.
Once…twice…Knox could hold back no longer. He twisted toward the floor, vaguely hearing CJ yell in fear, and released all the vomit created since the beginning of time.
“You done good, boy,” Outlaw said. “Go fuckin’ wait for my ass at the fuckin’ table.”
“’Kay, ‘Law,” CJ squealed, apparently just fine.
Finished with throwing up and thanking the heavens that his guts remained inside of him, Knox sprawled out on the bed, flat on his back. “Godddd,” he begged. “Where are you? Is this the reason for my miserable existence? Please strike alcohol out of existence. Turn it into a pillar of salt. Let a whale swallow it. Throw it into the lion’s den…”
“Knox, shut the fuck up. The fuck you askin’ for that shit? Daniel got the fuck out the lion’s den and the whale spit Jonah the fuck up. About the only one outta the three ain’t survive was Lot wife. Ain’t comin’ the fuck back from just crumblin’ the fuck up.”
“Have I gone to another dimension?” That would explain the devastating hangover and also how in the hell Outlaw knew about biblical characters. “I didn’t think you knew how to spell church. Yet here you are shocking me with your knowledge of…your knowledge.”
The door slammed shut, and Knox moaned, Thor’s hammer knocking the fuck out of him again. He had begun to feel better, after he’d thrown up.
Daddy Thug and Baby Thug were gone now, so he could rest and…A chair scraped across the floor. There was rustling. The sound of a lighter flicking. An exhalation of breath.
“What do you want?” Knox demanded, remembering he’d lost Roxanne’s engagement ring and annoyed that Outlaw lingered. “Why are you here?”
“My ass here cuz I fuckin’ wanna be.”
“The scent of vomit should run you away.” If Knox focused on it, he’d vomit again. What kind of irresponsible jerk was he?
“I ain’t a weak, bitch-ass motherfucker, motherfucker. Seein’ a motherfucker hurl or smellin’ it after, ain’t ever bother me.”
Knox grunted.
“My ass also not a fuckin’stupidmotherfucker.”
“I reserve the right to withhold my opinion.”
“And my ass reserve the fuckin’ right to shoot the fuck outta you.”
“Would you get to the point so I can die in peace?”
“A night of fuckin’ drinkin’ ain’t gonna kill you. If your ass had alcoholic poisonin’, we probably woulda seen some fuckin’ signs by now.”
“Okay. Leave me alone so I can pray to die and be put out of my misery.”
“All you gotta do is ask my fuckin’ass to fuck you up.”
“What do you want, Outlaw?” Knox demanded.
“You helpin’ me get Kendall outta Johnnie life. The gun deal you brought to me seem to be fuckin’ on the up-and-fuckin-up. But you fuck over Roxanne, and you fuckin’ forfeit your fuckin’ life. I ain’t needin’ your ass no more for Amfinger and I just gotta deal with Kendall longer ‘til I find some-fuckin-body else to do what the fuck I need did if I gotta fuck you up.”
“She broke up with me.” At some point, Roxanne had text him. A month ago…?...A week?...Today…yesterday…when…?She’d told him to say she ended the engagement.
