Page 17 of Misrule
Just like all the different tragedies she and Johnnie had shared, most of whichshecaused.
Unable to watch anymore of the movie, Kendall flicked off the TV. Sad movies served as a catharsis lately. That, along with a different medicine, extensive therapy, and self-help books was easing Kendall’s way.
The combination of these things had inspired her to confront her arch-nemesis, Emily.Bitch!
Kendall should’ve slapped the fuck out of her. Emily deserved it, but she’d missed her chance so she’d let it go. Emily was out of her life for good now, therefore she’d lay that ghost to rest.
She had more important things to think about. Such as, she was actually a practicing attorney again! At first, she’d been so shocked that Outlaw relented, she’d meekly—and graciously—accepted all that he’d offered.
Then, she’d thought about it and realized the barbarian had probably been so overcome with guilt over shooting Johnnie, he was using her to atone for all of his sins.
If it got her practicing law again, so be it. Everyone thought she’d enjoy her life so much as a lawyer that she’d decide she didn’t want to be married. But she loved Johnnie and she loved her kids. She just needed to work on being a mother and a wife, and figure out how to process her love. If she still had her family—her friend, Meggie—her life would be perfect.
Well, if she could survivewithoutmedication, her life would be perfect. She hated depending on pills to shape her personality. She lost the real her in dosages and side effects. Was she the calm woman who the medicine brought out? Or the hell-on-wheels she was known to be?
She liked her edginess. She liked not knowing what her next adventure would be. And she loved making everyone prove to her that they’d love and accept herno matter what she did. Just as they’d all promised.
Johnnie’s everlasting patience and unconditional love had given her the courage to contact Emily. Yes, therapy and medicine had aided the decision. But it was thoughts of Johnnie who sealed it. It was his strength that had boosted her own. Without him, she felt so lost.
However…and it was a big however…being Johnnie’s wife meant having to deal with a few unsavory people, including that brat, CJ. Outlaw and Meggie had to know how out of hand he was. CJ needed a firm hand and manners beat into him. That thought didn’t make her unmotherly. It made her a disciplinarian. Period.
Marie, Kendall’s mother, had taken that approach and Kendall was the woman she was today because of Marie’s discipline.
Until she got her husband and children back, though, she wouldn’t concern herself with CJ Caldwell. He was little more than a speck of dirt in her pristine life.
She had to tow the line.Behave. She wanted to be in her home, in her bed with her husband, so she’d do everything in her power to better herself and get her family back.
Chapter Six
Stuffing her change away and then dropping the wallet into her purse, Meggie pushed the grocery cart out of the safety of the store and rolled it into the shadows. She’d parked as close as possible to the entrance, so she didn’t have far to walk, but she had to make herself move every time she went through this routine.
This morning, she had the same nausea to deal with that had come upon her last night at their family dinner at Bunny and Digger’s house. It could’ve been something she ate, but Meggie knew her terror contributed to her upset stomach.
The guards Christopher wanted her to have was the easiest solution. She thought of the four, older men. Well, they werekind ofthe easiest solution. Even without experiencing their rude grumpiness from time-to-time, she didn’t want to go back to the way things had been before her kidnapping.
She liked the point in her life that she’d gotten to. Having alone time. She’d liked the trust Christopher had placed in her and her ability to look out for herself.
As long as she was at ease, he was at ease. He could effectively be OutlawandChristopher. One of her jobs as his wife was to make sure nothing interfered with his life to upend the balance he’d created. He led two separate lives because of her, so she was determined to do her part and stand by his side in whatever way he needed her.
Her life was full but hectic. Besides her home healthcare business she had with Zoann, she had her husband to care for and their five children. CJ was the equivalent of four kids. He was so lively and inquisitive—some would say bratty. But he was her first child, whom she’d given birth to months before her nineteenth birthday. Essentially, they’d grown up together. He’d turned into an active little boy with a will as strong as his daddy’s and she’d come into her own as a wife, a mother, and a woman.
Then, of course, there was the club. She still cooked for the members at least twice a week. She didn’t serve them as much as she once had. Sometimes, she even cooked meals in her own kitchen and had one of the brothers pick it up and bring it to the club. But the Death Dwellers were her family, too. She made it a point to go to the clubhouse once a week, to mingle with the old ladies and the brothers, too. Although she wasn’t supposed to interfere, there were times when she had to put in a word or two—drop a hint or two—to Christopher on one of the guys’ behalf.
Then, there was Diesel, preparing for graduation and scouting colleges. He’d very likely win a football scholarship. However, he had his heart set on joining the club. The only way Christopher would allow it was if he got some type of degree. At times, Diesel had struggled in school and with his parents’ abandonment. He’d needed attention but a different type from her younger kids.
She couldn’t forget their ever-growing family, and their weekly get-togethers. Now, she also had Johnnie and Kendall’s children in residence. She really didn’t mind it. Rory spent more time with CJ than any of his other cousins, so having him, his sister, and brother stay with them while their parents worked on themselves was a logical choice.
Given everything, Meggie relished alone time to slow her pace.
Without her escorts, though, she was terrified of being taken again. Usually, she cowered in the shadows for twenty or thirty minutes until she worked up the courage to get to her car. It wasn’t normal. She knew that. Yet, she’d deal with it and overcome her fear in time. She had to. For her sake and Christopher’s sake.
He couldn’t be distracted from club business. Enemies popped up from everywhere and she couldn’t have him preoccupied by having every little move she made reported to him.
Anxiety was getting the best of him anyway. Worse, he was exhausting himself with his nightmares. Admitting any trauma would affect him doubly.
Now, Meggie needed to harden herself more so for Roxy and Bailey, and their upcoming wedding ceremony. She didn’t want the drama in her household to affect their special day. She’d do whatever needed doing to ease her husband’s fears and to keep the peace amongst everyone on Roxy and Bailey’s behalf.
The sound of Harley pipes reached her and she shrank back, tightening her grip on the cart. Bile rose to her throat.
