Page 18 of Misrule
Usually, she spent her time in the shadows talking herself into going to her car. Today, her worry for her husband distracted her. Either way, she never really paid attention to the people around her. She thought it was better that way. If she saw anyone who reminded her of the men who’d taken her, fear would paralyze her.
The noise grew louder and the bike drew closer. Meggie’s stomach heaved but no vomit came up.
Her kidnapping ordeal had begun with the innocent sound of motorcycles.
Drawing in deep drafts of air, she told herself one day she’d feel normal again. She’d feel confident to take her kids out again. To her relief, Christopher had yet to note that she didn’t go anywhere alone with their kids anymore.
CJ had been in the car when she’d been taken. She’d been so frightened they’d harm him.
A hand touched her shoulder and she jumped. Her heart accelerated. Her stomach lurched.
“It’s me, baby,” Christopher said. “I was callin’ your name but your mind was wanderin’.”
She released a nervous chuckle. “I’m fine,” she claimed in a high voice, feeling anythingbutfine. “I was just going to the car.”
He stared at her, then glanced at her car. Folding his arms, he met her gaze, and she flushed at his knowing look.
“So, um, I’ll see you at home.”
Sighing, Christopher pulled her into his arms before she could guide the cart away, and kissed the top of her head. “Why you so fuckin’ stubborn?”
She buried her face against the leather of his cut, then shook her head. “I’m not,” she insisted in a muffled voice. She stood on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck, clinging to him. He was warm and there, a towering, muscular wall of protection that she adored.
“I have to do this,” she whispered, wondering why she still felt so sick. “We have to do this.” Instead of keeping her reasons to herself, she explained them to Christopher.
“You can have me-fuckin-time in the bathroom while you takin’ a shit. I don’t come in then. Pissing, yeah.”
She wrinkled her nose. “I’m still doing something, Christopher.”
“Well, fuck, baby, ain’t you doin’ something when you shoppin’? Just change the shoppin’ to shittin’, then we all happy.”
“It isn’t the same,” she insisted, suddenly feeling more than a little selfish.
“You say you ain’t wantin’ your fear to affect my ass. I’m still fuckin’ worried, so stop soundin’ fuckin’ ignorant. You out here, alone, scared like a motherfucker, and I’m supposed to fuckin’concentrate?”
“I shouldn’t have told you,” she said on a groan. “Some things are better left unspoken.”
“Since fuckin’ when?”
She shrugged.
“You ain’t even takin’ our lil’ motherfuckers nowhere by yourself.”
She gave him a sullen stare, and he grinned. He had one of the most beautiful smiles in the world. Seeing it always left her weak in the knees. His grinned deepened and he winked at her. He knew her so well.
Tipping her chin up, he stared into her eyes, his green gaze filled with concern.
“I have to do this,” she whispered. “You trusted me to look after myself.”
“Megan, you got my heart, my soul, my trust. You got my every-fuckin-thing,” he said gruffly. “But there some things you need my ass to hold you up for you to get through. This one of them. It ain’t meanin’ you weak. It just mean you human. You was kept in a fuckin’ hole, naked and starvin’, so—”
“You were taken twice,” she reminded him. “Both times, I thought I’d lost you.”
“Baby, the only thing get my ass and make me cry like a pussy is bein’ buried the fuck alive. If I ain’t had to rescue you when Snake did that shit to me, I’da just been fucked. But you,you, gave me the fuckin’ will to get the fuck outta there. You give me strength.”
“And you give me wings to fly, Christopher, so let me fly this time.”
He grabbed her face between his hands and leaned down to kiss her. “Megan, baby, you one stubborn lil’ motherfucker. Why the fuck can’t you just do this shitmyway?”
