Page 190 of Misrule
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Gabe questioned, studying Knox with concern. “If you do, you have to sit still.”
He was doing this for Roxanne, he reminded himself. She was worth it. He nodded.
“Okay, this is what I’m going to do. Create the stencil for your chest piece, then do the linework. We’ll schedule more sessions for the coloring and your arm. Does that sound good?”
“Yes,” Knox responded, willing himself to relax once Gabe started the stenciling again. It was almost impossible, though, because all Knox imagined was that needle.
Passion led to strange decisions, though, and hopefully, this would help to win back Roxanne’s love for him.
Chapter Forty-Six
Afraid to move and sobbing, Kendall drew her knees to her chest, cowering in the corner of her bedroom.
Imagining eyes glaring at her from everywhere, watching her, following her every step. She couldn’t prove it, but instinct warned her of dire danger. Roxy called her every day, but even she sounded different, withdrawn and distant.
Kendall hadn’t heard from Meggie. Usually, after a day or two, she’d call offering an olive branch. And Johnnie—
Tears burst from Kendall. She wanted Johnnie. She needed him. He’d protect her. Since the evening they’d met, he’d put her first in his life. He had to rescue her now. Outlaw was coming. Kendall knew it, and it terrified her.
Earlier today, she’d picked up her business cards from the printer. The words,Kendall Donovan, Attorney-at-Law, shimmered in gold. But the satisfaction she thought she’d feel at finally reclaiming her career, had yet to set in.
Loneliness, fear, and emptiness squeezed out every other emotion and all of her peace-of-mind.
All the times she’d berated Meggie came to Kendall. The younger woman had a man who loved her without condition, who she loved just as much. She wasn’t mean, selfish, and spiteful. She didn’t step on anyone in her path to get her way.
No wonder Johnnie had loved her. No wonder he’d turned against Kendall.
She had no one. Charlotte would tell her she was better off without “those people”. Once upon a time, Kendall had believed Roxy would come running. Since the fight, though, the woman Kendall wished had been her mother had changed.
Resting her head on her knees, she prayed for death. She was broken, lost. Even when she tried to do the right thing, she failed.
Tears streamed down her face. She couldn’t do this anymore. Dr. Briscow had sworn, once the medicines set in, she’d start to feel better. As long as she’d had Johnnie and Meggie and Roxy andeveryone, she’d had a reason to fight. Despite her attitude, they’d considered her family. That’s all Kendall had ever wanted.
Rubbing the back of her hand against her runny nose, she decided she’d had enough. Her mother and sister had the right idea. Life was hard, not for the weak and self-pitying, and she was both.
She sobbed for all that she’d dreamed of as a child, when her father had still been alive, and all that she’d lost in the intervening years. She’d always told herself she’d be a much better mother than her own had been to her. It turned out she was worse.
Trembling and nauseated, she crawled to where she’d dropped her phone on the floor when she’d come into her room, and heard a click. Or saw a flash. Or…somethingnot quite right.
Wanting to hear Johnnie’s voice one, last time, she picked up her cell phone and speed dialed his number. She Face-Timed Rory, Matilda, and JJ once a day. Johnnie told her he wouldn’t allow her more time with them. Her kids were getting so big, and seemed to be thriving and happy, not missing her at all.
Had she really been that horrible?
“What, Kendall?”
Sniffling at Johnnie’s unfriendly greeting, Kendall gripped the phone. “Johnnie, come and get me. Please,” she sobbed. “I’ll behave. I’m so scared. Let me come home.”
Johnnie huffed out a breath. “No.”
“But—”
“You’re not welcomed on club grounds anymore. No one wants you here.”
“Can you come to me then?”
“No,” he said after a moment. “I’m done with your fucking games. This is just another ploy of yours.”
“It’s not! I swear.”
