Page 237 of Misrule
She could hold onto bitterness and grudges or she could turn over a new leaf and forge a new chapter with Johnnie and their kids.
He sat in the chair near her bed and leaned forward. “I love you. Very much. I want our marriage to work. I realize we have a long road ahead of us. We need intensive counseling. We need parenting classes. You should take time off from being an attorney to see to your mental health.”
“The prospect of reclaiming my career didn’t excite me as much as I thought it would,” Kendall admitted. “It felt empty without you and the kids. Meggie…Roxy.”
“It was Roxanne who found you,” Johnnie said gruffly, taking her hand and kissing it. “She was so devastated.”
“Roxy found me?” Kendall whispered.
“You weren’t answering your phone and you didn’t show up to the fitting. She said she felt as if something was wrong.”
“She does love me,” Kendall said in awe, crying.
“I do, too,” Johnnie repeated. “Or is this it for us? Do you think we’d be better off apart?”
“I love you so much and I’ve been so lost without you.”
“But?”
“I’m not well inside.” She swiped at her tears. “And I’m not Meggie.”
Johnnie got to his feet, bent and kissed her. “I don’t want you to be Megan,” he swore. “I’ve been so unworthy of you. I’ve wronged you in so many different ways.”
“No more than I’ve done to you,” she admitted.
Kissing her forehead again, Johnnie straightened and walked to the foot of the bed. “We both have to make changes. Real, true changes, not just words we blow out of our asses. I have made arrangements for you to be moved to an in-house mental facility.” He glanced away. “And I’m also thinking about going nomad once you’re released.”
“Nomad? Why?”
“I wouldn’t have ties to a particular chapter, but if I’m needed, I could be called upon. If I want to attend meetings, I could go wherever in the world we happened to be that has a chapter. You don’t like club life.”
“I thought I didn’t like club life, but I missed our family so much. The weekly get-togethers. The way you guys nitpick at each other. The closeness. Their acceptance.”
“They won’t accept you back into the fold easily,” Johnnie warned. “You’re going to have to earn their trust again.”
“I know.”
“You also have to cut ties with Charlotte,” Johnnie ordered.
Kendall frowned. “I do?”
“I can’t stand that bitch. She’s a terrible influence on you. Besides, she doesn’t like Roxanne.”
For the first time since she’d awakened, Kendall smiled. “Okay.”
He met her gaze. “We have a long road to go, Kendall, but I believe in us. We can get there and be stronger for it. If you do your part, I’ll do mine.”
She nodded.
“I’ve rehired Ella to look after the kids. She’s back at our house on the compound. You’re still barred from the grounds, but I’m going to talk to Christopher about that. When you’re released after your stay in the wellness facility, I’d like to bring you home.”
“How long will I have to stay?”
“That’s up to Dr. Briscow to determine, but normal stay time is about six months.”
“Suppose I feel better after three?”
“You’ll still stay the entire six, unless the doctor says otherwise. My guess is she won’t.”
