Page 56 of Misrule
Bailey gave her an odd look, then turned back to the sketchbook, casually flipping through. “I’ve been thinking,” she said after a moment.
“About what, child?” Roxy lingered on a page in a LookBook that contained a bridesmaid dress. It was black, made of tulle and lace. She was sure it would look as fabulous in scarlet.
“How I’ve hijacked your wedding.”
The statement came out with nonchalance, but Roxy knew Bailey. Her daughter was lowkey and avoided drama if at all possible. “What do you mean, Bailey?”
Bailey closed the sketchbook. “Knox proposed to you. When he did, it was for you and him to get married. Not share the spotlight with another couple. Lucas kind of railroaded you into allowing us to join in.”
Tenderness at Bailey’s thoughtfulness welled inside of Roxy and she pulled her daughter into her embrace. “Oh, baby. Don’t think that! I’m happy and proud that you will be walking down the aisle the same day as me in a dream wedding.”
Bailey kissed Roxy’s cheek, then pulled away and grabbed Roxy’s hand. “You deserve every happiness.” She stroked her mother’s hair. “This is your time to shine. You said you didn’t want a big wedding, but you were like a giddy little girl on the way here.”
“And you were muted all the way here,” Roxy said gently, returning Bailey’s gesture and stroking her hair. Currently, it was bone straight, but the rich highlights accentuated Bailey’s beautiful face.
Roxy had always been proud of Bailey. She was the one who gave her the least trouble. The one who reasoned things out. And the one who accepted her, warts and all.
“I was wondering what was wrong.” She pulled her daughter back into her embrace and Bailey laid her head on Roxy’s shoulder. “Whyyouweren’t excited. Your dream has always been to have a huge church wedding. You’re getting it, sugar.”
Bailey nodded. “Knox was so angry, though.” Pulling away again, she sat up and bowed her head. “It’s just…I wish…” Her voice trailed off and she sighed. “The day will still be perfect. Johnnie will be perfect to walk me down the aisle. Nevermind.”
Grabbing another sketchbook, Bailey started flipping through the pages so fast Roxy knew she wasn’t seeing a fucking thing. She placed her hand over Bailey’s.
“K-P is with you,” she said softly. “He sees and he approves. He might not be here to walk you down the aisle, but he’s here to watch over you and keep you safe.”
Tears glistened in Bailey’s eyes; Roxy swallowed, choking up, too.
“I miss him,” Bailey confessed. “And I…that doesn’t mean I don’t like Knox—”
“Stop it!” Roxy demanded. “This has nothing to do with Knox. K-P was your daddy, not Knox. And a good daddy he was. He loved the ground you walked on. He was a good man and I mourned his loss, Bailey. I understand that a perfect wedding needs the bride’s daddy to give her away. If that is the reason you don’t want to have a double wedding, I’ll respect that. Even though your daddy would say go ahead with it.”
“It’s not all about Daddy. Mostly, it’s about you. I feel like a usurper.”
Suspicion rose in Roxy. “Knox talked to you?”
“No, Momma,” Bailey said with a grin, swiping at a stray tear. “But I understand his point.”
“I love that man something fierce, Bailey. Your daddy was my first love and there will always be a spot in my heart for him. I’m thankful to have found Knox to have a second chance at love.”
“You’ve been married four times.”
“Three,” Roxy sniffed. “And?”
“Didn’t you love them?”
“You haven’t realized what a romantic your momma is, girl?”
Bailey smiled. “Where do you think I get my romanticism from, woman?”
“My marriages didn’t last because, deep down, I knew going in, I didn’t really want to be married to those motherfuckers. I wanted…I was searching for what I lost with K-P.”
“Knox couldn’t be less like Daddy. They are complete opposites.”
“I wasn’t searching for a clone of K-P, Bailey. I just wanted…I don’t really know what the fuck I wanted. Maybe, the perfect man, and discovering these other motherfuckers’ imperfections served as a good excuse to walk away. Always measuring them against K-P.”
The confession rankled her. It was really the first time she’d admitted that to anyone—even herself. She sighed.
“As I had started to say, I would be content marrying Knox on a little raft in the middle of the Pacific with just me, him, and Father Wilkins. I don’t need a big wedding. It’s not about the production. It’s about the love between two people. Knox wants a big wedding, but he would’ve given in to me and had a small ceremony. No, this big to-do is for you.Wasfor you,” she amended. “I can’t believe how much I am enjoying putting plans together and getting a custom-made dress.”
