Page 244 of Restless
CJ glanced away and tightened his jaw. “You’re getting a hysterectomy.”
The order neither surprised Meggie nor annoyed her. CJ had a lot of her qualities. However, he had just as many of Christopher’s.
“Dad still hasn’t recovered, Mom. How would you have felt if you survived but he died from stress?”
“Neither of us died, CJ.”
“Then how can you think having another baby is a good idea?”
She didn’t. Instead of confessing and drawing her son into her drama, she said, “You don’t understand.”
CJ glared at her. “Give me some fucking credit. I’m not an imbecile. My name is CJ,notJohnnie.”
The words startled a laugh from her, though she tried to hide it by coughing. “CJ, he’s an adult and your uncle to boot,” she said, as severe as possible. “Give him the respect he deserves.”
None, but whatever.
“Then I can call him a motherfucker every day and not worry about it,” CJ snapped. “He deservesnorespect, and he’ll get none from me. He’s an asshole, an idiot, a whiner, a wimp, and a fuckhead.”
“Well.” Meggie shifted in her seat. “Tell me how you really feel.”’
“I can continue, if you’re not convinced how much I loathe him.”
“Johnnie’s a complicated man.”
“Dad’s a complicated man. Uncle Mort. Uncle Val. It doesn’t make Uncle Johnnie special. Without complexities, a person’s a one-dimensional boor. Somehow, Uncle Johnnie manages complexity and stupidity.”
“Enough, CJ. Your daddy wouldn’t be happy hearing you malign one of your uncles.”
“Bullshit, Mom! Dad is losing his fucking mind. I could knock Uncle Johnnie the fuck out, and all Dad would do is blink. Or say how unhappy you are.”
Later, Meggie would cry. Right now, she drew in a breath, and summoned her strength. “I’m unhappy for a number of reasons, son—”
“So Uncle Johnnie was right! Ofallthe motherfuckers to have to agree with, you’re making me side with him. You shouldn’t have any more babies. We love you, Mom. We need you. You’re enough for us. Please let us be enough for you.” Tears glistened in his eyes, and he reached across the table and grabbed her hands. “Dad…Dad would give up his own life if you asked him.Please, Mom. If you don’t do it for me or Rebel or Jo or the rest of your sons, do it for Dad.”
Meggie squeezed his hands, even though they dwarfed hers. “Son, listen to me. Johnnie…I don’t know…never mind. I’m tired of having babies. Jo wasn’t planned, but I was happy. After all the turmoil and the early birth, I feel…” Shame slid into her and she lowered her lashes. “I don’t feel a connection to her,” she mumbled. “I’m still so tired.” And Johnnie wouldn’t leave her alone. If he’d let her heal and rest, maybe she could think more clearly. “Your daddy wants more children.”
Mouth agape, CJ blinked and fell back against his chair. “You’re joking.”
Sniffling, she shook her head.
“Mom! Listen to this: Diesel, CJ, Patrick, Rule, Rebel, Ryder, Ransom, Axel, Gunner, Jo. How many names?”
Meggie counted in her head. “Ten.”
“Ten,Mom. Ten. Nine biological, one adopted. Nine alive, one deceased.” He leaned forward. “How many fucking bedrooms in the house?”
“There were six. Now, there’s eight.”
“Eight bedrooms for eleven motherfuckers, if I include you and Dad, and no guest rooms, unless you spend more money to add more rooms.”
“CJ, Johnnie told me Christopher wants more children. He said…he said I had a dysfunctional womb and—”
“He saidwhat?”
“He won’t leave me alone, CJ. He hid in the hospital stairwell and seemed to know when Christopher left. He’d come in my room and…and he wants me to go. He’s offered me millions of dollars to leave.”
Nausea curled through Meggie’s insides and mild dizziness turned into an assault on her entire body. The thumping in her head threatened to burst her skull.
