Page 198 of Relentles
Once she settled back into club life, she’d accepted that Rory would one day follow in Johnnie’s footsteps. Maybe, even their younger sons, JJ and Blade. For a brief time, she’d dreamed of Rory leading…the rise of the Donovans.
Except they’d had a Donovan at the helm, and he’d been an awful motherfucker. Logan Donovan had been cruel and vile. Evil. Outlaw saved Johnnie from going the path of their grandfather.
Kendall had Outlaw to thank for Johnnie having any empathy. Thus, she had him to thank for her husband dropping his guard enough to allow her into his heart.
But he could be so goddamn frustrating! So fucking obtuse.
Each time the club was threatened, Meggie somehow figured into a plan of revenge. And Kendall suffered at Johnnie’s hands. He made her feel lesser. Inferior. Second best.
Just because she wassecondin the female hierarchy, didn’t mean she was inconsequential. Roxy and Meggie had taught her that.
It was a lessonJohnniehad never excelled at.
It didn’t escape Kendall that Johnnie went away on a business trip last year and returned…different. Within hours, they were at Meggie and Outlaw’s house, trying to assist with Rebel. Not long after, Johnnie hit Kendall with,if I was married to Megan and Rebel was our daughter…
Closing her eyes, Kendall shuddered. He was such a fucking asshole! Cue the crazy, insecure, jealous cunt lurking inside herself.
It wasn’t until he’d disappeared that Kendall realized the club was in trouble. Except…
Except…
Outlaw didn’t know. She might’ve been a lot of things, but one thing she wasn’t was stupid. Meggie was going on about her life, clueless. If Outlaw suspected something was going on, he would’ve protected her.
Johnnieknew. And Johnnie was allowing it to happen.
The fucking idiot!
He wouldn’t only get beaten or shot. He’d getkilled.
Meggie’s no-kill list or family trump card wouldn’t save him. Digger survived because he saved CJ. Johnniewoulddie if he was risking Meggie.
Why couldn’t that motherfucker have fucking common sense?
Somehow, she had to rock the boat and confess that while she’d love nothing more than their halcyon days to continue, she feared he’d shut her out and throw her away if shit hit the fan again.
The Death Dwellers were feared and respected. The only way to maintain that alpha pecking order was by fucking up and extinguishing the fucking threats. If Johnnie couldn’t use his fucking brain and consider why Kendall was so insistent on peace, if he couldn’t take balls in hands and go to Outlaw, then she had to be smart for her and her husband and findherballs. And confess.
She had to tell him the truth.Fuckpeace. They were bikers and killers. Annihilate all motherfucking threats so calmness and serenity could return.
Kendall drew in a deep breath, her hand shaking and her belly twisting. It was late afternoon, so the hustle and bustle in and out of the building had slowed to a trickle. Courts would shut down for the day in forty-five minutes. The judges had issued their rulings and cleared both the morning and afternoon dockets.
Normally, Kendall loved the wrangling and finagling. But she was soul weary. She’d give it all up to know that her family was safe.
She swallowed and huffed out a breath, where it formed in front of her in a frozen mist. The low clouds in the sky and the cold dampness added to her anxiety. The air was frigid and foreboding. Or, maybe, it was merely her thoughts.
For a decade her life had been so…
New year, new beginnings.
She wouldn’t dwell on what had been. Shit happened. The past was over and couldn’t be changed. Only the trajectory of her future was alterable and dependent upon her present choices.
She was turning crazy again. Johnnie didn’t need her interference. If anything was going on at the club, he had it handled; if therewasa fire, it would be resolved before it grew into an inferno.
Johnnie had a good reason for his disappearance. And for how he treated Mattie. And for rekindling Kendall’s insecurities about Meggie.
Shame slithered into Kendall as a wind gust blasted her with icy air. Shoving aside her annoyance and despairing that somewhere deep inside Johnnie he still loved Meggie, she shivered. By the time she reached her Navigator, her face would be chapped.
Instead of wallowing in self-pity, maybe she needed to dig a little deeper to find out what the fuck was up before she reached any conclusions and created any plans.
