Page 44 of Dr Feel Good
“Dr. Feel Good took care of you, huh?” Lake teased, snickering when I elbowed her.
When we’d returned to Kansas City, she’d asked about him, and I revealed everything, including my nickname for him. Mysisters and I may be in different stages of life, but our bond meant no secrets were kept between us.
“Dr. Feel Good?” Estelle asked with furrowed brows. “Like, the Aretha Franklin song?”
“I was thinking the Mötley Crüe song,” Juno said.
“His real name is Felix Good, and he’s the dude she was with when we found her,” Lake explained. “He’s a doctor, and pretty fucking hot. Good job, sis.”
She offered me her fist. Instead of fist-bumping her, I smacked her hand away.
“C’mon, don’t be like that,” she said around giggles.
“A hot guy nursing you back to health while you two were trapped together?” Juno echoed, summarizing Lake’s words. “Sounds like the plot of a romance novel.”
Estelle’s eyes lit up, an idea no doubt brewing in her head. “Tell me everything,” she demanded.
“Life isn’t a romance novel,” I grumbled.
I desperately wish that real life mimicked the great love stories that she put on paper. Instead, the two chances of happiness I’d stumbled across—Warrior and Felix—had ended in tragedy. The death of our child spelled the end for me and Warrior, and too many factors would likely mean that Felix and I would never cross paths again. And if we did, it wouldn’t be as lovers. The thought hurt but deluding myself into believing otherwise would only lead to more pain.
“So? You can still share the details,” Estelle pushed, my sisters humming in agreement.
Outnumbered, I obliged, spilling every detail that I remembered, from the night of Fendi’s betrayal and subsequent death, to when I was ‘rescued.’ By the end of it, Estelle was gaping at me.
“And you haven’t tried to reach out to him?” she asked, sounding appalled.
“I’ve been a little preoccupied, cuz.”
“Okay, and now you aren’t,” Lake said. “Before you get preoccupied again, reach out to him.”
“How? We didn’t even exchange numbers.”
Juno snorted, pointing the neck of her beer bottle at me. “Sis, you have his name, his occupation, and his location. Google is free.”
Estelle nodded in agreement. “All I’m hearing is excuses. If you want to keep it as a fling, say that. Otherwise, you need to at least try before you dismiss any chances of a relationship.”
“You were just saying how awful relationships are—”
“Would y’all stop putting words in my fucking mouth?” she snapped. “Because I said no such thing. Every relationship has rocky patches. It’s unrealistic to expect otherwise. But love, effort, and communication should be enough to overcome anything. If you don’t even try, you can’t say a relationship wasn’t meant to be or didn’t work out.”
This time when Juno did her finger-thumb tap, Lake joined in, much to my annoyance. I knew Estelle was right, and I longed to see Felix again. However, I was terrified that with our isolation no longer a factor, he wouldn’t see me as someone worthy of his attention. The thought of him rejecting me hurt, and I knew he looked down on my lifestyle. Most likely, the best I could hope for was keeping things physical, and I’d crash out if Felix, someone I’d started to care about, reduced me as a warm hole to fuck when no one else was available.
Lake flicked my forehead, making me scowl. “Stop overthinking. I won’t let you throw away your chance at happiness because you’re forgetting you’re a bad bitch that any man would be lucky to have. At least try to reach out to him, and if he rejects you, we’ll scoop him up and—”
“No,” I interrupted, trying to ignore the panic I felt at the thought of anything happening to Felix. “If he rejects me, that’ll be his decision, and you lot will have to respect it.”
Juno wrinkled her nose. “So mature.”
“That’s a good thing,” Estelle said, then gave me a reassuring smile. “You’re a strong woman, Michelle. Strong enough to handle rejection. But even the strongest people can be haunted by what-ifs, which it what’ll happen if you don’t try to find this man and see where you stand.”
“Fuck, fine,” I growled, my doubts not standing a chance against my family’s onslaught.
Besides, Estelle was right. I’d been through breakups and far, far worse, and came out the other side stronger than before. But many what-ifs lingered in my mind, each a weight on my shoulders that I could never lift. I'd be a fool to add another one to that list, just as I’d be a fool to let someone like Felix go without a fight.
And if he rejected me, at least I could say I tried, and forever cherish the time we had together at his cabin.
Two weeks after returning from my cabin, I should’ve settled into the flow of things again. In the past, I was readjusted to the mundane nature of my normal life within three days. But in the past, my world hadn’t been rocked by a woman who was my polar opposite, yet so perfect for me. I should’ve rejoiced that I was free of Michelle. The circumstances had been stressful, and she should’ve been the last person I craved. But the heart didn’t often care for logic, and mine was no exception. It longed to be in her presence again, to hear her sarcasm and banter with her, to hold her in my arms and punish her when she got too far out of line.
