Page 117 of Ruthless Secrets
For the next hour, we focus on nothing but the game. Somehow, we even find it in us to laugh when Rosa tries and fails to bluff her way through a terrible hand.
While it might not be enough to make us forget about the reality of our situation, it does help to ease some of the anxiety.
Eventually, after losing another hand, Rosa tosses her cards on the pile and yawns.
"I’m calling it. I need sleep." She stretches her arms up above her head.
I glance at the burner phone that has been glued to my side in case Marco calls and blink when I see the time.
"It’s four in the morning? How did that happen?"
Lila shakes her head. "Time means nothing anymore.”
I start gathering the cards to put them away. "We should all get some sleep. The girls will be up soon."
Lila nods and stands, but as she looks down at the twin bed, her lower lip trembles.
I get to my feet. "Do you want to sleep with me tonight?"
Her eyes flicker with something close to relief before she nods. "Yeah, I’d like that."
We all settle into bed, but sleep doesn’t come easily. My body is exhausted, and my limbs heavy, but my mind can’t stop racing with thoughts of Marco and Zoe.
I try to focus on the sound of the wind blowing outside, but it’s not enough to provide a distraction.
At some point, my eyelids grow so heavy that I eventually fall asleep. Barely an hour later, I catch the soft sounds of Zoe whimpering as she starts to wake up.
I only have a few minutes before she starts screaming, so I quietly slide out of the bed, careful not to wake Lila, and pick my daughter up out of the crib.
"Shhh, baby girl. It’s okay.”
I rock her gently, rubbing her back as she nuzzles into me. As I soothe her, my mind drifts to Marco.
The burner phone has remained silent all night, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. From the small amount of lightpeeking in through the window, it’s barely morning. He is likely sleeping himself, but my chest tightens regardless.
What if something has happened?
My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of Holly stirring.
Before she has a chance to wake Lila, I pick her up and carry both girls out into the living room to give Lila and Rosa the chance to sleep a little longer.
The babies feel so small and fragile in my arms.
How anyone could ever think of hurting them makes me sick to my stomach.
The house is eerily quiet, the fire in the hearth reduced to ash as the sun starts to rise.
I go in search of some milk to give to Holly before settling us all on the couch so I can feed Zoe.
As I stroke my daughter’s dark hair, I think about how difficult it was to raise her on my own. The thought of having another feels overwhelming, so I can’t even imagine what Lila is feeling, being pregnant again. It should be happy news, but how can it be when it’s likely she could be raising her children alone?
That fear must be consuming her, just like my own fears are eating away at me as I hold Zoe in my arms.
I shake my head and set my shoulders straighter. “Stop it, Clara.”
I need to snap out of this negative spiral, if not for me, then for Lila, Rosa, and the girls.
We have to believe that Marco and Andre will find a way to take care of this threat because the alternative is too heartbreaking to bear.
